Connection
by trilliumgt
Summary: Neji is trapped, unable to save his wife TenTen from being raped. Can their marriage survive this?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is one of my darker fics. Rated M for mention of rape.

* * *

Chapter one

The mission had fallen apart. The information they had been given was wrong. Someone had screwed up. If it had been the first initial report given to them by the Hokage, or if it had been Neji's personal account, if he had mistaken somehow the number of people actually in camp or overestimated their strength compared to their opponents'. Or perhaps no one had messed up at all. Maybe the enemy had just been stronger.

It didn't matter. Not really. Despite how much he thought about it and how much it bothered him and how badly he cursed himself and everyone else that failed them. It didn't matter. They were trapped. They were captured. And there was nothing more to be done expect wait for rescue.

He was nearing thirty years old. This did not happen to him. He did not get captured. He came to the rescue of others. That's just the way it was since he was a young chuunin. He was a prodigy and had lived up to that expectation, succeeding where others had failed. He had become the leader of the Hyuuga clan, married a woman men envy, and produced a son already exceeding other's his age. His life was near perfection.

So needless to say, he does not get captured.

And when his chakra returns, he would rectify this situation.

TenTen scoffed beside him, "Oh, get over yourself."

He shot a glare.

"It's not that big a deal."

"For you, maybe."

"What's that mean? For me? You think I've been captured before? Name one time I've been captured."

He took a moment. "Nineteen. Land of Wind."

"That was for the mission."

"Twenty-two. Village of Woods."

She thought for a minute. "I've forgotten about that." She mumbled, her confidence fading.

"Twenty-five. Land of Poppies."

"Okay, shut up. Thank you."

He smirked, his head resting against the bars tiredly. He kept his hand clenched around his arm to staunch the flow of blood.

"Let me see."

He shifted and put his arm through the prison, into hers. She crawled over and ripped her shirt, tying the thin piece around his bicep. He twisted his head to observe her. Her brown hair had come undone, spreading down her back in disarray. She had a black eye and scratches on her cheek. Blood soaked her white and black attire at her stomach and thigh but he could not see the extent of her injury. She would not express pain either. She was more prone to pain then he was. Her use of weapontery made her immune to such wounds while he was unaffected by bruises considering his own talents. But this was not a bruise. The blade had cut a tendon and the injury needed surgery or Sakura's medical chakra to fuse the pieces of muscle back together. He had lost feeling in his fingers in the last hour but he wouldn't tell her or she would worry.

"Do you think Lee is okay?" She whispered distantly as she rested against the same bars, exhausted. Her fingers touching his skin. He had his eyes closed and he nodded slowly. Lee had escaped. His speed was still better than anyone. He would have made it back and would get help. They would wait for him. He was their saving grace.

"How did this happen?" She groaned.

It was a question that kept repeating in his head. But exhaustion was coming through. He needed to sleep, it was the only way to replenish his chakra. They would not feed them, he was sure of it. When he woke would be the only chance they had at escape. Any later and they risked being weaker then they were now. He would lose more and more blood as time progressed. He could already feel the loss of it. He was dizzy and unbelievably thirsty.

"Here."

He felt a tap and he opened his eyes, finding a small flask at his waist. "They didn't check everywhere." She winked. She detached a small thumb sized blade that was buried deep into the metal and slipped it back into her sleeve.

"TenTen…"

"I can save you too, you know."

"They are too strong."

Her brows knit in anger. "I don't think I've ever heard you say something like that."

"Wait for Lee."

"I can do this."

"I'm asking you to wait."

She turned away and rested her back against his, her head touching his through the bars. She sighed heavily. "Fine." She pouted. "I can give birth twice but this, this I can't do."

He smiled softly closing his eyes, satisfied she would listen. He took a few sips but saved the last for her. Now perhaps he could rest.

Voices were approaching. "Don't move." He told her. He followed his own advice, feigning sleep as the obnoxious voices got closer. They were laughing, and so obviously drunk. He could hear in the way they slurred their words and the heaviness of their feet. Three of them turned down the hallway, bumping into one another.

"Wha diju wanna show me?"

"Comeoncomeon. SHhhh." One of them looked over his shoulder, "Master can't know we're here."

He put a finger to his lips, "It's a secret." The other man agreed, nodding.

Their footsteps stopped in front of their cell. "Look."

Neji's shoulders stiffened.

"Oh, she's pretty."

Keys jingled in the silence of the night and the door creaked open.

That's when he felt TenTen move and he swung around in time to watch her as she attacked. She jumped upon the first one, her legs wrapped tight around his waist as she stabbed him repeatedly in the chest, her small thumb sized blade protruding through her knuckles. But it was too small to do any real damage unless used on the neck or veins. Completely surprised he was, he stumbled backward and fell to the ground, screaming, trying to ward her off but she kept punching him in the chest and bits of blood went flying in the air. She grabbed his head, pressing the blade to his throat, ready to silence him when his colleagues snatched each arm, lifting her off and pinning her to the ground.

The man felt along his chest, trying to find where the blood was coming from. He lifted his shirt to examine the small little holes. "Oh, god, what a bitch." He moaned, rolling over in pain.

"Dude, you alright? Maybe we should go."

He shook his head. "No. No. I'm gonna fuck her up." He got to his feet and within an instant slammed his foot into her stomach. She curled, suppressing her groan.

Neji looked at the bars, he scanned it for weakness, narrowing in on screws, on the connection to the stone. It was hard to focus as he listened to him beat her, her small whimpers the only sound as she refused to cry out. He found a small crack in the top right of one the bars and latched onto it, climbing, placing his foot on one of the vertical bars to keep him up and he slammed his hand repeatedly on the metal. His arm felt each vibration, his blood dripping down his elbow, slipping up into his sleeve and down his armpit. He kept hitting until it snapped off.

A lacky left TenTen's side to come over to his cell, "Hey, cut it out, you're making too much noise." He reached in just as the bar broke loose and Neji yanked it as he fell back, glaring at the ninja. He took a shaking step back noticing the white of his eyes. "Dude, I don't think this is a good idea. Someone's going to hear us."

"No one heard us yet." He fought back, stomping his foot on her rib cage. "Get back over here."

Neji stepped to the bar before the third man entered, "TenTen." She shifted and her free hand lazily fell toward his cell and at that moment he tossed the weapon through and she snatched it up, swinging it hard, smacking her attacker in the leg. He flopped backward as she continued, hitting the other in the head. He fell against the wall and she was quick to get to her feet, moving backward toward Neji. She held it out as the three men surrounded her.

"She's a freaking nutjob. It's gonna make this so sweet." He rubbed blood from his lip.

"Neji." TenTen murmured as she stared down her enemies. She panted, drained already. "I have no chakra."

Neji wrapped his fingers around the bar, testing its strength. His knuckles whitening as he pulled in a secret desperation. "They are nothing." The bars were all that separated. All that stood between her safety and his ability to protect her. It felt like another world apart.

"What do I do?" Her voice wavered in fear. "Tell me what to do." She swung the bar as one took a step forward. He laughed, weaving backward out of her way.

"Fight."

"And after that?" She swung again and they attempted to reach it but she kicked, missing and they continued taunting, cackling.

"There is nothing else after that."

She tilted her head to meet his gaze and his breath caught. "That's when you save me." TenTen turned and attacked.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I forgot to say this is for the people that say I don't make Neji suffer enough. I wrote this specfically with them in mind.

chapter

A vibration in the floor woke him. He couldn't pinpoint what exactly it had been. A door closing. A blast. Someone dropping something heavy. He didn't care. There were many things he didn't care for anymore. It's been two days since they've been captured. Since they've eaten. Since he's had a drink of water. Since TenTen was raped in front of him.

As he said, there were many things he didn't care about anymore.

He opened his eyes. He laid pushed up against the prison bars, stretched out on his stomach. His injured arm lay useless and numb beside him, while his other reached through the metal rods that separated him from her. He had his fingers pressed to her wrist, constantly surveying her pulse. It was weak, slow, but steady. And though that was slightly reassuring, she hasn't moved and she has not woken. It was the last kick to her head that had silenced her. The blood that laid dried against her temple told him there was something more he was not seeing. Without food and with consistent blood loss, he could not activate his Byakugan to check her chakra.

He curled his fingers around hers, attempting again to wake her. He dared not move her in fear of causing harm. He called her name in a weak whisper but she responded to nothing. Did it matter? Wouldn't it be better if she were dead? He wasn't sure if he preferred it. If she would.

They've been through eighteen years of missions together. He's nearly died four times and she has been on her deathbed three. Six months ago, their lifelong sensei, Gai died on a routine scouting mission. Before that, they lost their second born child two years earlier and that had been the most brutal. But this, there was nothing to compare to this. Nothing to help this. He was tired of suffering. Why was he so strong and yet bad things kept happening? What was the point if he was saving no one?

He was done fighting.

He was done with it all.

And he swore now, here, if she survived this, he would give it all up.

Footsteps were running down the hall.

"Neji!"

Lee's voice.

He didn't move. He was hallucinating again. It's happened several times already. He was sure he was hours away from dying. He wanted to die. It seemed only fitting.

Metal broke and a hand dropped on his back. "Neji. Are you alright?"

He blinked when he noticed someone breaking into TenTen's cell. It was Naruto dressed in fire. "TenTen!" He hollered her name desperately going to her side. He shook her once before slipping his arms under her, "Neji, I'll take her back to Konoha as fast as I can."

Lee sat him up before digging into his pocket, pulling out a roll of gauze. He spun it around his arm fast but Neji wasn't paying attention as he watch him move his unconscious wife out of the cell.

"Naruto." He swallowed, hoarsely. Lee handed him a bottle of water but he did not see it. "Tell Sakura." His eyes fell to her. She was unconscious. A hand limp at her side. They had dressed her again afterward, afraid their 'master' would find out. She appeared normal. The blood could be from any number of wounds. No one would have to know. He could hide it. He could pretend it never happened. And they would never have to speak about it again. The shame of it would never be known. She could go through life with her head high, hiding this very secret and only him to share it with. And if her health wasn't at risk, perhaps...

"She...She needs a rape exam."

Naruto's eyes widen and Lee stopped his movements beside him.

Neji dropped his gaze, taking the water, "Please hurry." The blond stiffened his features and nodded before taking off.

Lee stepped after him but Neji called him. "I need your help."

"Of course." He bent down for his good arm and lifted him to his feet. "It's my fault. I should have-"

"I cannot listen to your guilt, Lee."

Lee closed his eyes, feeling more guilty for being so selfish. He nodded, "I'm sorry."

Neji clenched his hand over Lee's shoulder. Their walk was slow, a turtle's pace at best. They were still making their way out of the dungeon and minutes have already gone by. It was taking too long. He needed to get home. He needed to be with TenTen. They past unconscious bodies on the way. The man that had raped her was nothing now but beaten bones. It did not matter. Every ninja in this village were his enemies. They were all to blame and will suffer the same fate. They all needed to be eradicated. He wanted more blood. More death. More vengeance. It is the only way to rectify the injustice he's felt. The only way to make the world a somewhat less confusing place.

"We need to move faster."

"Neji, you're hurt."

"I don't care."

Lee stressed for a moment longer. He however knew how stubborn Neji was and did not fight it. There was a very good reason why they needed to hurry and he felt it within himself. As they approached the exit, Lee pushed off his feet and had them up in a tree. The first landing was rough, and Neji nearly collapsed. He groaned, holding his injured arm tight into his body.

"You can't handle this."

"You do not know what I can handle." He replied through grit teeth. There is no pain that can compare to a lost child. There is no pain that can equate witnessing your wife being rape. Her cries. The look in her eyes. Physical pain had no bearing against such atrocities.

Lee was silent as he pushed off again.

Somewhere along the way, he lost consciousness. It was a mercy he did not deserve.

When he woke, the sun was shining. There was a bird on his window sill twittering and chirping. It was peaceful and for a moment, he felt free of burdens. He tried to recall the last time he felt such soft calmness and it wasn't difficult because of the significant moment it held.

When Gai died, he thought he would grieve for him. But instead he found himself grateful. Hisaya, his little two year old boy, would no longer be alone in heaven. It was the first moment of peace. The first bit of acceptance that laid the foundation to move on.

He shifted and pain awoke and with it memories demolishing the peace, dismantling his comforts, and drowning him in grief.

He looked around him, there were flowers everywhere but not one person. He moved his legs off the bed, his wounded arm wrapped in gauze and tucked into a sling around his neck. He used his teeth to rip the IV out of his wrist. In a panic, he darted out of the room, scanning the grounds. He hurried down the hallway to the nurses table, "Where is TenTen?"

Their eyes widened at the sight of him but quickly one of the nurses jumped up to his side, "Hyuga-sama, please. You must get back to bed. You are still very wounded."

"Where is TenTen?"

"I will call Sakura-sama for you. Please, I cannot have you wondering around."

Neji pushed her off him and flared up his Byakugan. But the pain was intense and he fell to his knee, holding his head.

"You are depleted of chakra. Please you have not rested enough. You have only gotten out of surgery. I will bring you all the information you need. But you have to rest."

The elevator dinged and it brought Neji to his senses. If he could not find her his way, he would find her the typical way. By going from room to room. He got to his feet and moved.

"Neji?"

Lee called from the hallway and he swung around to find him.

"Where is TenTen?"

"She's still unconscious."

But alive.

A breath escaped and dizziness overtook him. Lee was at his side before he fell. The nurse once again pleaded for him to go back to bed and this time, he obeyed, Lee guided him back.

"She is in the intensive care ward on the first floor. Sakura has been working on her since yesterday. Lady Tsunade had to come from her retirement to treat you. You would not have made it through the night without her. Everyone is downstairs in the waiting room but now that you are awake, I'll send them up."

"No."

"They want to see you. Your son is there too."

"Just him."

"Alright. Please, listen to the nurses. Eat. Once you are stronger, you can be there for TenTen. You can't help anyone right now."

It was a typical saying in their missions. Take care of yourself first, so you can be there for others. It is the most common practice. He knew this in his core and would obey it despite the desperation that was yanking him elsewhere.

Lee made sure he was tucked back into bed before turning to leave.

"Do they know?" Neji wondered cautiously, his eyes going to the window. The bird had flown away.

"Somehow." He whispered softly.

"What do you think she will do?"

Lee leaned against the doorframe. He had a soft smile on his face. "Torture. Maim. Revenge. You know, the stuff she's good at." But after a moment, Lee wasn't sure that's the answer he was looking for. "She'll get through this, Neji. She's been through worse."

He wasn't sure of that. The memories of it were still fresh. Every shove inside her brought a new sense of sickness. Every grunt of discomfort repeated in his head and he could hear it now and he squeezed his eyes shut if only to push it away, to stop it, to end it.

He laid there, remembering. It was the only punishment he could give himself. To remember, to relive it, to see her face as the attacker forced her legs apart.

Neji had dropped to his knees, unable to stop it. Just like he had been unable to stop Hisaya from dying. Just like he hadn't been able to help Gai. All this power, and it was for nothing.

"Father."

Neji snapped his head toward the door. The overwhelming tide receding and he swallowed.

Souji was seven years old. He was Neji's spitting image except he had TenTen's jaw and nose. He had the bloodline, his eyes a pale lavender, wide and large. His hair was a dark brown, straight and long like his own. He chose however to wear common clothes, jeans and a tshirt. He claimed kimonos were for girls and old men.

Neji was not so close with his son. After Hisaya died, it was only instinct to distance himself further from any future pain. If one child could die, what's to stop another from sudden death? He could not love so blindly again.

He motioned for him to come and Souji slowly stepped forward and sat on his bed.

"What happened to mom?"

"She will be fine."

"That's what everyone is saying but no one is telling me anything. She's been in with Sakura-san for twenty hours. She can't be fine. Is she going to die?"

"No."

He stood stiffly, "That's what everyone said about Hisaya. I don't believe any of you anymore. You just lie."

"Souji."

The boy stopped in the doorway. With closed fists, he turned. Neji once again motioned and with a force of his feet, he obeyed, standing beside his father's bed once more. "You are older now. Do not act such a way."

He turned his eyes stubbornly.

It made Neji smile. He looked like TenTen when he did that.

"You are right. Your mother was hurt badly. She may die. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No." His lip trembled, and he turned his back to hide his tears.

"Come here."

With a slight hesitation, Souji threw himself on his father's beside and buried his head into his chest. He cried softly, his body shaking in suppressed sobs. Neji rested his head back against the pillow and stared at the ceiling as he held him. It helped hearing him cry. For him, for someone who has lost such an ability, it was cathartic. But it still didn't make anything better.

"What happened? You were with her, weren't you? How come you couldn't save her?"

It was like the guilt somehow formed into knives and cut him at the gut. He didn't move for a long time. Even as Souji rubbed his face and sat up.

"Dad? Where were you?"

Neji licked his lips and swallowed, "Go on now. I have to rest."

"But-"

"I will not repeat myself."

Taken back by his father's sudden change of attitude, Souji shifted off the bed. He bowed his head lightly before he ran out of the room.

Neji smashed his hand into the bed. He wanted to break things. He wanted to get up and tear apart this entire room. He pressed his hand over his eyes, his entire face squeezing with rage and he moved quick, gripping his injured arm. He nearly screamed out in pain but it snapped off all of his anger and he fell back against the mattress, panting, staring at the ceiling, desperate for forgiveness only TenTen could give him. How long would he have to wait for it? Would she even bestow such a thing to him? Or would blame stand in her way?

He was supposed to save her. She had waited for him to save her. No failure was worse than that.


	3. Chapter 3

\- Chapter

This time when he woke, someone was there. Sakura was sleeping in a chair beside his bed. He watched her intently for a time. She had her legs curled up into her chest, her head resting on her knees. A blanket had been wrapped around her shoulders at some point but a part of it was currently falling down.

Neji shifted, sitting up and it disturbed her, her eyes squeezing before they opened and noticed him. "Neji-san." She yawned, unfolding and stretching. "How do you feel?"

It was not a welcoming question and he did not answer.

She noticed and bowed her head, "I'm sorry. I meant how is your arm?"

"It's fine."

"When my chakra returns, I'll work on it. Tsunade-shishou doesn't have the skill she use too in her old age." She tried to be reassuring but upon his stone look, she took a breath and finally told him what he wanted to know. "TenTen is okay."

The way she said it, there was something in the undertone he sensed that brought him little relief.

"The damage was extensive but I managed to heal most of it with minimal scarring. We performed the rape exam as well. A few internal scrapes. We injected her with a serum to protect her against any STDs and since her hysterectomy, there will be no un-"

"Her what?"

Sakura hesitated, blinking. "Her hysterectomy, six months ago." She took a sharp breath, "I thought you knew."

"Why...Why did she…"

"I shouldn't." He cut her off with a cold stare. Sakura rubbed her eyes, "I'm guessing you don't know about the miscarriage either."

"She was pregnant?"

"Six months ago."

"But she was taking something."

"It's not a hundred percent. TenTen didn't want to take anymore chances. I made her think about it but she came back every day. I told her to talk to you. She told me she did. Apparently she lied."

Neji nodded and he waved a hand to tell her to keep going. This was not the issue, despite it being a very big issue. He couldn't grasp how she had been able to lie about major surgery. He had no recollection of six months ago at the moment. He'd put it aside for now.

"Um….Oh...We have a rape counselor on the fourth floor that will talk to her when she wakes...It's just that..we don't know when she will wake." With a deep breath, Sakura forced out. "She was hit in the head and it caused swelling for too long."

All the tension in his body drained out. All he could think about was Hisaya. It's the same thing all over again.

Sakura leaned up, her hand resting on his, bringing him out of horrible memories. "This isn't like HIsaya." She whispered, reassuringly. "TenTen has brain waves. There's activity is several parts of her brain. We are keeping her in an induced coma simply to give her time to heal the few parts that aren't switching on. The truth is, we don't know enough about the brain to help her. I'm meeting with a specialist team in a few hours to come up with a plan."

He cleared his throat. "Can I see her?"  
Sakura stood, "Follow me."

Neji yanked the blanket off. He could feel his chakra rebuilding slowly. It was still incredibly low but there, the tiniest bit beginning to come back. He despised it. Resented it. His chakra had failed him when he had needed it most and now, he did not care for it. Like a friend that had abandoned him only to show up when the the party was over.

Sakura peaked out of the elevator before she whispered to him. "Be quick. Your entire family is in the waiting area." She darted across the hallway.

He glanced out the doorways. Sure enough the whole Hyuuga clan were there. Some were sitting, others standing, chatting, watching the TV or reading a newspaper. All of TenTen's close friends. Their school teammates. It was ridiculous. Didn't they have lives?

He jumped across the hallway and followed Sakura down the hall. The intensive care unit was security access only and she swiped her card before the doors opened. The bay was freezing and he was wearing a thin hospital gown tied against his hip. He shivered as they walked down the lane, passing sick elderly.

It's what made seeing TenTen even more out of place.

The light shined from above, illuminating her smooth young skin. She was clean, unmarred, and perfect. Blankets draped over her form but an arm rested on her stomach and he watched as it rose and fell in a steady, slow rhythm. Rising to her face, however, he knit his brows, glancing up to Sakura.

"It's just for precaution." She assured.

She was on a ventilator and it stuck in between her lips forcefully. Her face transformed for a moment to Hisaya. He could see his little boy beneath her, his small face swallowed by the enormous tubes.

"Sometimes, the anesthetic that she is taking can cause her to stop breathing."

TenTen looked fragile and it was perhaps the only difference to her. Her brown hair was brushed out beside her face. There were no injuries. No reason for her to be here. Every part of him wanted to reach down and wake her up and for a second, his hand almost touched her but he retracted. He did not deserve to touch her. He did not deserve any comforts. Suffering now was the least he could do in his penance. It seemed not enough. There had to be more. He would find someway to deserve her forgiveness when she woke.

He followed the line of her IV up into the big bag that hung above her. There were multiple bags with different names. He was familiar with each of them. But Sakura went about pointing to each one anyway if only to reassure him that she was on all the proper medications. She picked up the clipboard and went on. "I know she's on estrogen. So we will continue to give her a dose everyday but do you know if she is still taking the antidepressants?"

He had zoned out for a moment and he blinked.

"Neji."

"She has never taken antidepressants."

When Sakura became quiet, Neji lifted his eyes. She nervously tapped the clipboard, keeping her eyes down. "Since when?" He questioned.

"Hisaya."

Another secret. Were there anymore? How was it that Sakura knew more about his wife than he did? Why did she keep so much from him?

"I'll leave you."

"There's no need." He turned his back and walked out. His fingers clenched as he forced himself to walk away, undeserving to be by her side. As hard as it was, compared to watching her fight off three men, it was a walk in the park. Compared to turning off the ventilators on his two year old son, it was a breeze.

He pressed the button to the elevator, staring blindly. He hated this hospital. He despised how well he knew it. How many hours he spent inside it.

"Neji?"

He turned his head and found dozens of eyes on him. He had forgotten his family was there. He was indecently dressed and in no mood to deal with them. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Despite it being intentionally rude, he stepped in anyway. They called after him and raced for the elevator but the doors were closing. He caught Naruto's gaze as they slipped shut.

His back hit the wall. Why were they still hanging out? It's been near two days already. Can't they go home like normal people and move on with their lives? He did not want nor need them here. He hadn't needed them here when Hisaya was dying and he didn't need them here now. This was his family. No one else's. They needed to mind their own business.

He returned to his room and found a meal waited for him. He pushed it aside unwilling to eat. But as he stared at it, he knew he must force it. The sooner he was well, the faster he could leave. He pulled it closer and took a bite. It was tasteless and he blinked unseeing. He kept seeing TenTen and Hisaya, side by side, in the same bed, with the same ventilator. What are the odds that this would happen two years later? Was it some test he was not understanding?

Why learn all of his wife's secrets while at the same time being unable to confront her? It was too much. All of this was too much.

There was movement but he was ignorant to it. He chewed slowly, thoughtlessly, taking bites out of instinct instead of want. His name was called several times and on the fifth time, he blinked, looking over.

Lee stood with a bag in his arm. "Did you see her?"

He nodded.

"Sakura came out and told us." He set the bag on the edge of the bed. "She'll be up in a week. Don't worry so much." He patted his foot just once before he began to pull the items out of the bag. "Leo packed this for you. Clothes for you and TenTen." He set his clothes on the dresser below the window while hers remained in the bag. Then he reached into his pocket and in his palm laid two gold bands. "Your rings." He set them on the nightstand.

Neji stared at them. He swallowed, "Souji."

"He's fine. Better now that he knows his mom is doing okay. I made him go to the academy today. He missed two days but he'll make up for it."

"Thank you."

He shook his head. "He needs you though. So get better and get home."

"Lee." Neji still had his eyes on the rings. "Tell everyone to leave."

"They want to talk to you."

Neji rested his head against the pillow. He wanted to reach for them but he couldn't. His arm was still wrapped in the sling, unmoving.

"Alright." Lee murmured. "I'll see you soon."

A bird rested on the windowsill. Neji blinked, shifting from the two round gold bands to the small sparrow twittering. It chirped and pecked at the wood. Then it flew away.


	4. Chapter 4

\- chapter

To avoid the unnecessary crowds, Neji left the hospital in the middle of the night, travelling the rooftops till he made it to his front door. No candles were lit, no lights were on. It was darkness surrounding him except for the light of a crescent moon but it was enough for him to navigate through the paths of his house. He walked the veranda that circled the exterior, going around the back. The gardens made the only sound with crickets, running water, and a small fountain that shifted bamboo with a soft tap against stone. It hid his footsteps as he slid the screen to his bedroom.

It smelled of fresh jasmine and it was welcoming, almost comforting if he allowed it to be but he strengthened himself against such mercies and took none of it. He flicked the light on to the room and stood by the door to analyze it, as if he didn't have it all to memory already.

Over the years, TenTen had upgraded this traditional style japanese home into a more western style flat. She preferred such furniture over the more bare essentials that was consistent through the house. A huge bed and frame, an ornate dresser and vanity, and perhaps the worst addition was hanging directly over the bed. Her own art made with metal and kunai. He had attempted to have it removed, commenting it was more a safety hazard than anything else but after so many years, it had grown on him. And if looked in a certain way and with a certain amount of sake, it could possibly pass for art.

He stomped to the nightstand, slapping open a drawer and digging through it. He slammed it shut digging through the bottom one. When that turned up empty he went to his side of the bed, searching through his own nightstand, slapping it shut so hard the lamp nearly tompled over. He activated his Byakugan and looked to the dresser, each drawer before he moved onto the closet. And it was there he saw it.

Neji stepped into the walk-in storage. It was nearly a second room and filled to the brim with clothes and outfits for the two of them. Though they rarely used different clothes aside from their typical training garb, for every function they had new outfits prepared by a tailor and seamstress. And as the head of the Hyuga clan, they attended many functions. He should perhaps donate their unused supplies but that was unimportant at this time. He journeyed to the back of the closet and above, on the ledge, was a shoebox. He took it down and brought it to the bed, setting it in his lap as he sat down.

His fingers rested up on it. If he removed the lid, secrets will spill out. There would be no more denying them. And even as she laid there, incapable of speaking, of defending herself, of hiding them, they will be exposed. How will change their ten year marriage? A marriage he had based on trust and fidelity? A partnership he had never question, never thought too...

He took the lid off.

Dozens of empty medication bottles lay in its confinement. He picked one up reading it's name. 'Estrogen.' Another 'Hydrocodone'. And yet another, Zoloft. From the looks of it, she's been on Zoloft for as long as Sakura had said. A dozen or more bottles with her name written on it, hidden from him like some enemy squatting in the bushes.

He thought back to six months ago. Gai had died. How soon afterwards had she miscarried? She had left on a mission to the village of Wasps days after he was buried. Six weeks she was gone.

Neji felt his fingers tighten around a plastic bottle, the sound of it cracking breaking the silence. Why did he get the feeling there was no mission? How many times did she lie straight to his face and he had so blindly believed her? No reason to ever question. She had played with his trust so easily. Pulling strings to his heart like a black widow spider.

A knock on the door broke his loathing and he slapped the lid on and slid it under the bed. He opened the door, meeting the tired eyes of his son.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't like sleeping at Uncle Lee's. They both snore."

Neji stepped aside to let Souji in.

"Are you all better?"

He looked down to his arm currently covered in his long sleeve kimono. Sakura had done all she could for his arm. Physical therapy would be required and with time and his stubbornness there was a high probability he would get full mobility again. But he did not share this with his seven year old boy. "Yes."

"What about mom?"

He did not want to talk about TenTen.

"Go to sleep. You have to be up to go to the academy."

Souji bowed his head, silent. Neji removed his shoes and went into the bathroom to take a shower. He took his time, finding the moves difficult without his other arm. The nurses had been more of a help than he realized, disregarding their assistance more than he should have. Now he would have liked their persistent aid as he struggled with such simple movements. But his pride would not let him fail and after longer than he'd like to admit, he undressed and got into the shower.

His arm laid tucked into his side. The scar was vibrant and thick across his bicep. He did not want Sakura to waste any of her chakra on him so her assistant was used instead as Sakura walked her step by step how to fix the tendons that had been ripped. He had laid there for over an hour as the younger med-nin worked, apologizing profusely when she screwed up somehow. But the pain had considerably lessened. In the morning he was scheduled to work with someone to assist him in simple movements to begin the process of waking the newly built muscles. He was contemplating missing it.

He had promised to give up fighting if TenTen survived. What use was his arm anymore? He would never use it to injure one more person. And perhaps, losing an arm was enough to buy TenTen's forgiveness. Or at least a piece of it.

Neji learned that getting undressed was a bit easier then getting dressed with one arm. Pulling pants up was more difficult then pulling them down. He struggled and to his embarrassment, wiggled into his pants till they made it to his hips.

When he snapped open the door, he found Souji laying in bed, sound asleep. The light from the bathroom illuminated his face. There were times when he and Hisaya looked so much alike despite their personalities being opposite. Souji is more like TenTen, outgoing, wears his emotions on his sleeve, and quick to grin and laugh. But Hisaya, even at two, had been like Neji. Determined, fierce, and stubborn. Perhaps it's another reason why he does not get along well with Souji. They were nothing alike.

Neji flicked the light off and laid in bed, shifting the blanket to wrap around his son, as he laid on his back. He continued to stare at him, before his arm rose and removed a few brown hairs off his cheek. There were dry tears cracked against his skin. He rested his hand against his shoulder and closed his eyes.

* * *

He stood beside TenTen and waited with arms crossed and a stern face. They had stopped her medically induced coma six hours ago after informing him they had done all they could. Keeping her induced any longer could be a risk to her health. Fourteen days was as long as they dared stretch the treatment. They needed to talk to her, needed to see how extensive the damage was.

Before this was decided, the board of medical professionals had sat Neji down and warned him. There could be physical and mental impairments. Parts of her body might not work. Her speech might be delayed. Her memory reduced or altered. Her personality reshaped. She could not wake at all.

But after all of this was said, Sakura broke through his brooding with a very vibrant smile, "But we all know TenTen. She will wake up. And she will fight this."

So here he was, silently begging her to open her eyes, telling her to fight. Fight. That's all there was to it. He'll help her with the rest. It didn't matter if she could never walk again or if she couldn't speak or needed to be hand fed for the rest of her life. He'd be there. But he needed her to open her eyes and forgive him, as selfish as that might sound. Life would never be okay, he would never find peace, if she did not wake and grant him the reprieve that he did not deserve.

But the day went by, and she did not wake up.

When Sakura came in to check on her, her brows knit in sadness.

He did not want to hear any false words of encouragement and stormed out of the room. She called his name but he was gone.

* * *

When Souji exited his school, he was somewhat disappointed to see his father waiting. He toed the ground, hesitating, unsure why he was there. Kids whispered and pointed, nudging each other to talk the leader of the Hyuuga clan but no one dared to do it. The rumors around his dad followed him everywhere and it was annoying enough without him showing up at his school. "I want to go see mom."

Neji shifted on his foot, "Let's train."

"Tsk. I don't want to train."

But he knew it was not an invitation and followed downtrodden behind. He kicked his feet in the dirt, falling further back then intended and he had to jog ahead lest he be scolded. He eyed his father wearlier as they went to a different training ground instead of the one on the Hyuuga compound. It was on top of a grassy hill overlooking the village. He looked around, the wind blowing, the trees swaying. It was calming up here, he found. Not like the stuffy surroundings he lived in. He noticed markings on a nearby tree and journeyed to it, feeling his father's eyes follow him but paying no mind. His fingers traced the indent. His mother's name written in the bark. HIs father's name below. Lee and Gai were there as well.

His mom used to tell stories about her life as a genin with Team Gai. It used to be his bedtime routine. She would take him on adventures of different lands, different times, where she would be victor and his father, the lacky she constantly had to save. He came to learn it wasn't exactly true, but neither Neji or him ever said otherwise, allowing her all the fame and glory. He loved listening to her, learning lessons from her mistakes, wanting to do all that she has done and more. This tree had managed to make it into those fairytales and to see it, brought them all into existence again.

But after Hisaya, her adventures had stopped. Her smiles faded and everything darkened. Like the tree itself swiveled up and rotted.

It was something else he hated Hisaya for.

Neji shifted his legs, bending into his fighting pose. Souji sighed, wishing his mom would wake up and fix whatever was wrong with him. He was tired of missing both his parents.


	5. Chapter 5

\- chapter

The next morning. Neji watched Souji leave for the Academy. He wore long sleeves and pants despite the heat to hide the bruises decorated his skin. Though the ones upon his neck were not as simple even as he tucked his dark hair awkwardly around it. Perhaps he had been a bit too rough and though TenTen would never say it, she would have a look in her eyes as she rubbed ointment over the numerous wounds.

It did not matter. She was not here. The boy needed to toughen up. Crying as much as he had in the past few days was not a way a ninja was to live his life. He had never shown TenTen mercy in the thousands of practices they have had and she had become stronger because of it. Souji will see to this reasoning soon enough. He simply needed to grow up. And just because Neji himself was no longer fighting didn't mean Souji would be taking such a vow.

Obligation made him return to the hospital.

Part of him was ready to end this. If she was not awake then it was time to stop this unnecessary act of hope. Tell him plainly she was in a vegetative state and she would never wake and be done with it. He did not want to be dragged around. He needed to find a way to live with this. If the path one is on is too coarse and cruel then one must find a new path. It is a simple yet logical saying. It's not abandonment. Neji would never leave TenTen but he would adjust his life to the fact that this would be her state, and stop with the incessant hope she would wake. He would take her home, have servants tend to her sleeping form, and find a way to live around a wife that cannot open her eyes.

He stood beside her once again. A sigh escaped him, finding her in the same place. The tubes have been removed but left a mark around her mouth. Her lips were chapped and broken. He noticed a cup of water beside the table and dipped two fingers in before he rested them against her skin. He was unprepared how that would make him feel. He hadn't touched her since the day in the prison, clinging to her wrist to feel her pulse.

He snapped his hand away, ashamed. He had no right to touch her, to be near her, to yearn for the sound of her voice and the sight of her brown eyes. He was far from her savior. Far from her husband. He was, if anything, the cause of it all. It could be traced back to his weakness. To his failures. To his incompetence as a ninja. As a partner.

If he had lived up to the proper requirements placed before him at the time of their marriage, he would have seen through the lies. He would have noticed the depression. How could she pass off a surgical scar for a hysterectomy as a scar from battle? It all falls on the fact that he trusted her. Believed in her. Was blinded by her.

So then who was really to blame?

How can allow himself anger when she is hurt? He has to swallow it. He has to suppress it. No matter how hard it is to sit there and look at her and not feel injustice.

The door opened and Sakura entered, surprised to see him. He took a step back and rotated to look out the window. He listened to her movements. She was checking her vitals, going over her reports. "You know." She began, "Some believe that if you talk to them, they can hear you."

He clenched his fist. He did not need some psycho babble bull from anyone at the moment. If she so believed such a ridiculous thing, let her talk.

"I'm sure she doesn't want to hear me." Sakura chuckled. "I'm a bearer of bad news. But maybe...if someone else…"

"Enough, Sakura."

There was no response.

He had not meant to be abrupt. He owed Sakura more than he ever wanted to admit. But he could at least show her respect. He turned toward her but she was eyeing a screen intently. He shifted, stepping closer.

"I knew I was right." She murmured and faced the screen to him, smiling. "Say something."

His brows knit, still stubborn.

"Hey, TenTen, Neji's here."

The waves on the screen intensified. Her heart rate began to climb. Sakura's smile became a grin.

Neji stepped toward the bed, "Open your eyes."

TenTen's chest began to heave in rapid succession. Muscles clenched and her face twisted in strain. Tears rolled down the side of her temple. Sakura gripped her hand and leaned in to her ear, whispering. "I know it's hard, TenTen, but you have to push through it. We're here. Everyone's here." She pushed a button on the wall to alert the nurses at the station. She looked up at him. "Keep talking."

Neji wanted to reach for her hand but he rested his hand beside her head instead and leaned down so his breath was against her face, "Open your eyes and look at me, TenTen."

Her lips parted as she panted for air. Her fingers clenched the bedsheet. Behind her eyelids, her eyes were moving in a terrible frenzy as she fought desperately the darkness that shrouded her. And then her lids pulled apart and she stared at the ceiling. Her heart rate went from a hundred and fifty back to ninety. Her breathing calmed and all the tension in her muscles faded.

Neji looked to Sakura in confusion. but she was smiling, seemingly satisfied. "There you are."

TenTen blinked several times looking around, following the voice, "Sakura-san?"

Neji pulled back, hearing her voice again after so many days. His breath was heavy and he thought he would collapse. He fell in the chair, his hand holding his head. He refused to take his eyes off of her and soon enough she moved her gaze toward him, "Neji?" Her brows knit, "Are you okay?"

Several nurses came into the room pooling around the bed, and he lost sight of her. He stood up, moving out of the way, searching for her face through the layers of people. They began a series of tests, asking her questions, moving her lips, watching her reflexes. A nurse came to him and asked him to wait outside and though he didn't want to leave he found himself incapable of responding as she led him out. His back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor.

He felt like he sat there for hours. He must have because at some point Souji came down the hallway and sat down beside him. He had asked questions but Neji hadn't heard what they were. Lee and Metal showed up and the two boys drifted down the hall to get something to eat. Lee scooted closer. "Did something happen?"

Neji swallowed. He was quite thirsty. He looked after the boys wondering if he could somehow tell them to get him a drink. "She's awake."

Lee got to his feet and went to walk in but Neji grabbed his foot stopping him. "They are doing some tests."

He turned the other way and darted after the boys. Souji's excitement echoed down the hall and his feet pounded against the tile. "Why didn't you tell me?" He laughed, jumping up and down. "Mom!" He shouted through the door.

A moment later, Sakura squeezed through the door, shutting it quickly behind her. Neji got to his feet but he noticed the soft, sad smile she wore. He was too familiar with it. "What's wrong?"

"Let's go over here."

"No." Souji bit. "I'm not a kid anymore. Tell me too. Is something wrong?"

It would save him from dealing with Souji later. At least here there were others to offer him any emotional support he may need that Neji himself could not provide. Neji nodded and Sakura uneasily sighed. "There's little things. Coordination is off. That will take her a day or two to fix. She gets stuck on words. Again something that will fade."

"What else?" He demanded, tired of her stalling.

Sakura scratched her head, "Her memory is a bit off."

"Meaning what?"

She looked down to Souji for a moment before continuing. "For her, we are about to go to war with Madara."

His eyes fell to the floor, thinking about. That was more than ten years ago. What did that mean? Were all her memories gone then? For how long? How did they bring them back? Would they come back?

Souji whispered, "The Fourth Shinobi War? I wasn't born yet. She doesn't remember me?"

"This is a temporary problem. Please, Souji, she needs time."

"How much time?" He whispered as tears began to rise. "I've been waiting for two weeks. Now my mom doesn't even know who I am."

Lee attempted to put his hand on his shoulder but the kid shoved him off and ran away. Metal whispered something and took off after him.

Neji folded his arms. "The war. We were eighteen. The village had been destroyed. She was living with a farming couple on the outskirts of town then."

Lee smiled softly and Neji took note of it. "What?"

"She was dating someone."

His brows knit in dismay. "Oh. Right."

Sakura bit her lip. "Yeah, and she's already asked about him. Apparently they have a date this weekend."

Neji rubbed his brow. He knew this date. It was the date she lost her virginity. And though as she had told it, it had been a humorous and less than romantic adventure, it did not make up for the fact that she was anticipating it now.

He straightened, "So we tell her the truth."

Sakura latched onto his arm before he could move, "You can't do that."

He looked to her hand and she quickly dropped it.

"Look, her brain is delicate. It's like a new plant. If we don't water it, care for it, give her time, sunlight, space, it will swivel up and die. You can't douse her with ten years of memories, she'll drown. She'll go back into a coma."

He pointed toward TenTen's door, "I am supposed to pretend TenTen is not my wife? Is this what you are asking?"

She bowed her head, "For right now. Over time, little pieces can fall into place, naturally when she is ready. And maybe her memory will come back sooner rather than later. I can't give you all the answers, Neji-san. But I am telling you, you will kill her if you tell her."

Neji spun on his heel, ready to leave, to abandon this hell hole. This hospital is a beacon of bad luck and he could not stay a moment more.

"She's asking for you."

He paused.

"And Lee. And Gai. You are still her teammates. Her closest family. We will have to tell her that time moved on. That she's been in coma for the last twelve years. It's the most delicate answer we can give her to make her realize the world is different. She will need you there. And you will have to lie to make it real. If you can't do that for her, if you are that selfish that you can't give up your pride for her, then leave. I'll say you guys don't talk anymore."

He narrowed his brows, "You forget yourself, Sakura. I am in charge of her welfare, not you."

"I will take you to the Hokage and revoke your charge." He twisted to face her. She stood with a strong back and yet there was wetness in her eyes as she continued. "I will use Hisaya to make you out to be emotionally unstable and incapable of caring for her. I have already thought this through, Neji-san. I know how stubborn you are. I don't want to do that. Please."

His teeth clenched as he stared her down. She trembled but maintained her dignity with a high head. "You have thought this through."

"Her memory was one of the main parts that wasn't firing. I knew this was a possibility."

"I wonder." He stepped forward and she flinched backward. "Who between us is more unstable? You have not slept in days. You have a husband you do not see. A daughter you do not know. And a guilt you cannot suppress."

"A guilt?" She whispered, swallowing.

"I am not the only one who failed to save Hisaya."

Her breath sucked in and a tear dripped down her cheek.

"Do not challenge me, Sakura-san. You do not know the length I will go to succeed."

"Stop it." Lee stepped between them, shoving them apart. "Both of you. This is about TenTen. What's best for her is to listen to Sakura, Neji. I don't like it but it's safer for her. Sakura has done everything she can for TenTen and I trust in her and so do you, you are just scared."

Neji scoffed turning around.

"But what about what TenTen is feeling? She's confused wondering why we are out here talking and not in there with her. So let's go in there and talk to her."

He couldn't do it. He couldn't pretend it was all alright as they lied to her. She was stronger than what they thought. She could handle the truth. She was his wife, not some common house slave. She has been through hell and back. She could handle this. He was sure of it. And yet, the risk was too much. Her life did not outweigh his pride. He left, the only option available to him.

* * *

Souji laid asleep beside him. Another night the boy had cried himself to sleep. There was nothing that Neji could do for him except keep him near, offer him what solace his presence brought which he was sure it wasn't much. Even when Souji was born, he never wanted Neji. He would cry when he held him. Or when he fed him. Or when he simply walked by. TenTen used to joke and say it was his grumpy expression that unnerved the baby but Neji highly doubted it. At ten months old, Souji took his first steps and he came to Neji, given him his first smile. That was when he felt like a father.

Hisaya, on the other hand, loved to be held by him. Hours and hours he would hold that little baby as he slept on his chest, completely content, refusing to eat just to lay on him. He didn't learn to walk until he was a year and half because Neji never put him down.

A stupid thought drifted by: If Hisaya had never learned to walk, he'd still be alive. But it was a silly thought. Of course babies need to learn to walk but it was true. If he had waited only six months later, Hisaya would be here and life would be different.

Neji got up and put on a shirt. The action was easier now as his arm had gained sixty percent mobility. He was going to therapy every other day but it was becoming more a nuisance now and with TenTen awake he didn't know if he would continue to go. He couldn't stretch his arm out completely and he couldn't grasp a cup but he could move his fingers. That was enough for the time being.

He walked slowly toward the hospital. He didn't know what he was doing or why but he wanted to see TenTen again. Hopefully she would be asleep and he could watch her in the darkness. He jumped up to her window and pushed it in, slipping inside.

Her light flicked on as she sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Tsk, Neji." She growled in annoyance.

He stared at her. She seemed normal. But was she? Did Sakura get it wrong? Could he walk up to her now and kiss her as he had always before and she'll fall against him, gripping his kimono as she does and it will be like nothing has happened?

That's not reality though. Even if she was in her right mind now, he couldn't do it. There was a wall of distrust between them. Her lies had formed a barrier around his heart and he couldn't break it. His failure as a husband added to that barrier a spiked fence that cut into his organs. Right now, it felt like an impossibility to fix what broke between them.

Neji stood back, keeping in the corner. He could not remember the way he used to treat her when he was eighteen. It was never like everyone else. She and Lee had access to his personal space that no one else received. Did he talk down to her? He couldn't imagine he did and still get her to marry him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No. But you scared me. Just come in through the….the...umm...the door like normal people." She eyed him suspiciously and he dropped his gaze, least she see something in them he doesn't want her to see. She was always good at reading him. She had been the one to call him out when he had developed feelings for her. He could still recall how stupid he felt when she laughed at him.

"Well, come closer so I can see you."

He took one step closer.

"Tsk. Sit here." She shifted her legs, making room on the bed.

He thought about leaving. He was the cause of her bed-ridden state. Did she know that yet? What had they told her? What lies were fed to her? He should have stayed earlier to dictate her knowledge. It is a regret among many now.

He sat down, his eyes on his lap.

"You look older. Like, old older. Stressed. Everyone else is h…" She paused, searching for the word. "You know. Um...It starts with an 'h'."

"Happy."

"Happy! There it is. They're happy I'm awake and here you are looking..." She tried to say a word but gave up, "Like this." She folded her arms, sighing. "Twelve years. I screwed up somewhere."

And here he found a way. "It was my fault." He heard himself whisper. It is guilt that finds its way to the front. No matter how angry he is to all her lies, it doesn't compare to what he allowed happen to her. He's a failure. And he cannot go one step further in this new beginning without her knowing that. "I miscalculated. We were ambushed. I thought I could beat them. I thought I was stronger. But I failed. And you were hurt." Her eyes were wide as she watched him.

He bowed his head against the blankets, clenching the sheets in his hand. "Please, TenTen. Forgive me."

His panted in suppressed anxiety. He could feel all his stress bury him and it felt like it surrounded his heart more than he could take. He had no right to ask for her forgiveness. She didn't really know what he was asking for and it was cheap and selfish but he could not live another day without it. He needed something, even this tiny scarp to keep going until she found herself again.

"That's not what they told me but if you feel responsible..." Her fingers touched his arm and he pulled away, unwilling to allow himself more. He lifted, keeping his eyes elsewhere. "God, have you blamed yourself all these years? I could never blame you for this. It's our lifestyle. You know that right?" She sat up, moving closer. She touched his hand resting on his lap. "Neji."

He stood moving to the window.

"Visit me okay? They're….te...te…" she rolled her eyes, "saying I have to stay here for a few weeks. Then we can train again."

He pushed the window out, "I've given up training." He shoved out, regretting coming. Her forgiveness had not meant a thing. She didn't know the truth. She didn't know what she was pardoning. He felt as if he had betrayed her again by using her lack of knowledge to gain something that would ease his suffering and it only made it worse. He was weak and it disgusted him.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Nice big chapter here guys, hope you enjoy

-chapter

Neji held his son's hand as they traveled down the hall. He kept pulling him, forcing him to keep up and his little feet shuffled for a second before slowing down once again. "I don't want to do this, dad."

"Me either." He bit darkly but kept his stark pace till he met with the group at the end of the hall. They quieted as he approached. He felt like they all got together to solidify their lies before the day began. What story they were going to tell TenTen today. Sakura was the leader of this fabrication and everyone went along with her as if she had all the answers to his wife's unstable condition.

And here he was, joining the pack, betraying her further by having the inability to fight for her. He knew less than Sakura about the mental psyche. At least she had the medical background to back up her theories. But that's all they were, theories. He had every right to question them. And if he felt less guilt for TenTen's current position, he would probably fight harder to end this ridiculous circle of lies.

Sakura kneeled down to be even with Souji. "I know this will be hard for you but you understand why we have to do this?"

"My mom has an injury in her brain. She needs time before she can fix it."

"Right."

"So she can't know I'm her son. Or that she's married to my dad."

Sakura rested a hand against his cheek, giving him comfort that Neji disdained.

"But she will remember me right? Soon?"

Sakura began to nod but Neji pulled him away, toward her room. She can lie to TenTen all she wants but he won't let her spread any false pretenses to his boy.

He looked down at Souji. He had obvious fear. He was raised to never lie. He wasn't good at it especially when he had a father that could see-through him. Neji grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to meet his, "You don't have to lie about anything else. Be yourself."

"What if she doesn't like me?"

His brows knit, unprepared for such a question. "Impossible." He shoved the door open and brought him in.

TenTen was laughing with Lee and she turned her head with a grin, "Neji, you came back. Lee was telling me about his wife." Her brows knit landing upon Souji, "Who's this?"

Souji was leaning behind him, shyly, keeping a firm grip on his father's hand. He peeked his lavender eyes out over their hands, pressing his forehead against their wrists. Neji lifted their hands up to present Souji but the boy clung to him, pushing his face into his hip. He sighed, slightly aggravated.

TenTen shifted and laid her feet down on the floor. She leaned her head down, "Don't be afraid of me. My name's TenTen. What's yours?"

He looked up at his dad and after he nodded, he cleared his throat, "Souji."

She met Neji's eyes, "Is...Is he your s...s...son?" She dropped her eyes once more to the boy, "He looks just like you. I...I..I..never thought you….you…damn it. You would ma...marry."

"I didn't." He firmly stated. "He has no mother."

Her eyes widened, "Oh." She took a breath and changed the subject, patting the bed beside her, "Come here, Souji. Tell me about your...your...who you are."

He looked up at Neji for reassurance before releasing his hand and tentatively walking forward. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Souji." Neji chastised quickly but TenTen put up a hand, smiling.

"I got hit in the head. Want to see my scar?"

He nodded, jumping up on the bed. She pulled some hair behind her ear exposing a white thin line. Lee and Neji exchanged a glance. That was not her scar from the prison. That had been done seven years ago on a mission to the Land of Lakes. She had blood all over her from that little cut. She had walked around pretending to be a zombie, scaring civilians and laughing as they ran screaming.

"That's not-"

Neji cleared his throat and he looked to his father in question. He shook his head just once and the boy clamped his mouth shut. TenTen knit her brows, looking to him. "What was that? What did you do?"

He gave no reply.

She scoffed, "What, is he your dog? You just cough and he shuts up like a clam?" She turned to Souji, "Listen to Aunt TenTen, be your own person. If you have something to say, never be afraid to say it."

Neji narrowed his eyes, "You give my boy life lessons fives seconds after you meet him?"

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Well, he needs a woman figure in his life apparently."

"How kind."

Souji wrapped his arms around her, burying his head into her chest, squeezing her tight. Her eyes widened in surprise and she looked to Lee, to Neji, for understanding. Neji's brows knit in sadness watching his son shake in soft cries. TenTen stopped questioning and held him to her, whispering soft words of comfort into his ear. When Neji attempted to take him, she put a hand up to stop him. She gave an encouraging smile, leaning them back against the bed to rest. Her fingers ran through his long brown hair, "Do want to hear a story?" She murmured against his forehead.

Souji nodded, sniffing, rubbing his face.

"Once upon a time. There were these three kids. They had never met before but they were about to embark on a journey for years to come."

Lee and Neji stepped out of the room and shut the door. They were silent, staring at the ground, wondering what had they witnessed.

Lee was the first to break it, a smile spreading his lips, "TenTen hated kids. She used to talk about the germs they carried. Remember how many times she said she was never going to have a baby? That...What we just saw.., That was instinct, Neji. It's in there, inside of her. Mother instinct is primal. She knows. She has too."

Neji folded his arms, leaning his back against the wall. "You think too much."

"You can't deny what you just saw."

"I saw a woman having a weakness for a weeping child."

"No. This is TenTen we're talking about. She steps on lizards and sets fire to cats. She doesn't have normal female weaknesses. But she felt it, inside, her need to protect him. She knows it." Lee put a hand on his shoulder, "Neji, she's in there."

He knocked his hand off, "What if she is? What now? Do we continue to lie? Build up this wall of false allegations, till she comes to realize we've been lying to her for weeks, months, years? When will this end, Lee?"

Unsure of the answer, he gave the only one he could. "This is the best option."

"Yes. You and everyone else believe in this theory. But my life is in the truth. I cannot live this fabricated farce." He turned down the hallway, ready to abandon this horrible hospital.

"Then tell her." Lee challenged. "Tell her everything. Tell her Gai is dead. Her child is dead. She was beaten and raped. And you were there and let it happen. Go ahead. No one is stopping you."

Neji's head dropped. This was the reason, wasn't it, that they had to live a lie? Because her life wasn't as nearly as happy as he had promised her years ago. He thought he could provide her with everything she could ever want. He never thought that all those wonderful moments of happiness would be taken from her. As long as he had strength in his fingers, he wanted to protect her and provide for her. But his strength had not been enough.

Lee stepped in front of him, "I'm sorry, Neji. But I trust Sakura. I think this will bring TenTen back to us soon. Have faith. As difficult as it may seem, have faith."

Faith. What does faith have to do with any of this? He wanted logical statistics. He wanted facts. Tell him the best outcome from all hypothesized theories and from there he will decide the best course of action to take regarding his wife.

Faith, Neji scoffed. Faith would not bring back her memories. It would not undo all that's been done. Lee and his faith. So much for that faith when Hisaya was lying in a hospital bed, dying too rapidly for anyone to do anything about it.

Neji held drinks in his hand. He had walked to the cafeteria if only to give his son some privacy with TenTen but he did not want to be gone too long. He needed to monitor what they spoke about and make sure there were no slip ups. Not that he cared too much if there were. The sooner this make believe was over, the sooner they could actually begin to restore her missing memory.

He knocked once before entering but his foot stopped in mid-air as he realized Souji was gone and someone else had replaced him.

"Souji left with Lee, Neji." TenTen murmured. Her cheeks red as her hand slipped away from her visitor. The man sat up straight, dropping his hand into his lap, his eyes guilty darting in different directions as he cleared his throat.

He forced his foot down.

"Did you need something else?" She wondered, her eyes pointingly telling him to go. But when he continued to stand there, she motioned more pronounced with awkward head movements.

He stepped sideways, the door open beside him and he simply waited.

The intruder stood, "Excuse me, TenTen. I'll be right back."

"Kiba…" She whispered softly as he came around the bed and then she slapped the blankets. He could feel her glare but he ignored it as Kiba walked by and he slammed the door shut behind him before he grabbed the man by the arm and yanked him down the hall, shoving him against a wall.

Kiba put his hands up in surrender, "I was just talking to her, Neji-san."

"Talking about what, precisely?"

"Uh…" He began to stutter and Neji took a step forward to punch him but Kiba coward, quickly shouting, "Just stuff. I told her about my job and what happened in the war and random stuff. I promise I didn't mention our date. She doesn't remember that, right, so technically, we never went out."

"Then consider yourself lucky. The embarrassing night can be forgotten."

His cheeks reddened, "She told you?"

He smirked.

Kiba narrowed his eyes, strengthening, daringly. "I made up for it in other ways."

His smirk fell and Neji replied by slamming his heel on his foot, getting enough satisfaction as the man howled and dropped to the ground to hold his broken toe. "Don't visit again," he threw over his shoulder as he returned to TenTen's room, shutting the door and silencing the man's cries.

TenTen was still pouting when he faced her, "You know, ever since I was fourteen, men were scared of me. And I bet it's because of you."

Neji took a seat beside her, "Your passion for knives certainly did not help."

"But I'm pretty and fun. Those girly girls got nothing on me."

"Hn." He noticed the clipboard at the edge of the bed and grabbed it, reading over the details. But the medical jargon and the horrible writing gave him no information and he put it back.

"Kiba's a nice guy."

"He's also married."

She paused. "Oh." Her head dropped back against the pillow and Neji watched her face, disappointment only lasting for a moment before a sadness replaced it. "Everything's changed." She murmured. "Everyone's moved on. Got jobs. Kids. Lee's married, Sakura and Sasuke. Naruto and HInata. Is everyone married?"

In his pocket he could feel the gold bands belonging to them. It made him ache for his wife and his eyes drifted off, "Not everyone."

Not everyone's moved on. Some of them can't move on.

There was a heavy silence and he knew she wanted to know more about his situation. If she asked, he wasn't sure what he would say. He had no elaborate story to spin. For once he was thankful for his lack of eloquence. He wouldn't have to answer and she would have to accept that.

"How come you're not training anymore?"

His brows knit, surprised she had put any thought into it. He certainly hadn't. He didn't have an answer and continued to stare off, trying to come up with one.

"It's not because of me right?"

He shook his head, sighing, shifting, "I am the head of my clan. I do not have time."

A suppressed smile pressed on her lips. "But you have time to visit me?"

"A half hour out of my day is hardly an inconvenience for a teammate."

"It's been 12 years, Neji. We aren't teammates anymore."

Neji stood, heading for the door "You are speaking better."

"Are you impressed?"

"With how much you talk? Hardly."

* * *

Neji laid on his side in the empty bed. Souji sent a message saying he was staying with Lee. It was his first night in the house alone and he did not like it. He couldn't sleep. All the sounds of the house made him twitch in paranoia. It reminded him of the short time after Hisaya died. He could hear his laughter in the soft silence. Or when he cried, 'daddy' through the house. HOw many whispers of 'night night' or 'you okay?' did he speak on a daily basis and for how long did they continue to murmur even after he was gone?

His hand reached over to touch TenTen's side. She had stopped sleeping for a while. She became obsessed with missions, never staying home long enough to stay the night. He couldn't do back to back missions because of Souji. Someone had to be home. And the clan needed attention despite them giving him time to come to terms with the loss. But he didn't want time. He wanted to move on.

Like now. He wanted to move on but he felt stagnant. He could do nothing but wait until TenTen found herself again. What a cruel and twisted revenge. It was perhaps perfect, if he thought about it. The best way to make him suffer: keep him suspended in time reliving one of the worst moments of his life unable to to forget, unable to get forgiveness, and unable to hold the one person that could help with both.

Neji laid on his back. All he could see was TenTen's face. Her lack of memories changed her and for the first couple of days he couldn't figure why she looked different. There was no logical reason for her to appear different. Nothing had been altered on the outside. And that's the key. It wasn't the outside that changed. It was internal. It was happiness.

She was happy.

He sat up, his elbow resting on his knee as he ran a hand through his hair before resting it against his forehead, staring blindly ahead.

TenTen looked different because she was happy. There was no stress on her shoulders. No death looming over her. No darkness in her heart. She was an innocent eighteen year old with no misery.

Why did he want her to get her memory back? Was it selfish to do that? Was she not better off the way she was now? Maybe that's what he could do for her. Since he couldn't save her from something that already happened, maybe he could just let her be and let her go.

Movement in the house told him it was morning as the servants began their daily tasks. He threw the blanket off of him, unwilling to lay there anymore and journeyed out into the garden in the crisp air to sit upon his meditation pad in front of the slowly moving river that round its way through the compound. The crickets and the birds mixed together as night became morning and just a small amount of light began to brighten the sky. Neji watched the sun as it peeked the horizon. He asked the fading stars for answers and they disappeared with no reply.

* * *

Neji attempted to see Souji before he made it into the academy but the bells were already ringing and the kids ran to make it to class. Tucking his hands into his sleeves, Neji turned toward the hospital. It was early yet but he had physical therapy for his arm. It's been twenty days since the prison and his extension was at 64 percent. The aids were impressed with his progress but for him it wasn't enough. It felt similar to TenTen's prognosis. Stagnant. Unmoving. Listless.

He was deciding not to see TenTen today. The more he realized how different she was, the more depressing it became. All the years they've spent together, he had not seen altercations in her. He had not noticed the differences and yet now, he could spot them so obviously. Why hadn't he been paying attention? Her happiness was important. When did he start accepting her sadness as just a part of who she was?

This wasn't reason alone he wasn't going to see TenTen. She believed she was eighteen again and that meant technically so was he. And his old, juvenile self would not visit her daily.

Stepping into the Rehabilitation clinic, an aid stepped up and bowed in greeting, "Good morning, Hyuga-sama. Shall we-"

"Neji!"

He snapped his head up and found TenTen. SHe held herself up between two bars, sweat dripped down her forehead and she panted looking at him. She was desperately forcing her legs to hold her weight but she kept a good amount on her arms and they strained, shaking.

He motioned lightly with his hand and the aid bowed in obedience before he stepped to the end of the parallel bars and watched her. "Isn't this too soon?" He wondered with a bored tone. His insides however spiked with apprehension as she pushed a hand forward and took a heavy, teeth-gritting step.

"I can't…" She took another step, "stay." TenTen took several breaths before she dared to take another, "in bed anymore."

He looked to the aid beside her. "Does Sakura-san approve of this?"

TenTen set her glare, "It's my body. My decision."

"You were in a coma for f…" He almost said fourteen days. "Twelve years. Do you wish to risk rehabilitation because you are impatient?"

"Look at how much I can do already? I'm standing and eating on my own. I'm talking. Do you know coma patients after twelve years can't form speech? It's because I'm a ninja. I'm not meant to lay in bed."

Neji set his jaw. Her ego sometimes outweigh his own. This should have been a sign that she had not been in coma for twelve years and instead she used it as a form of higher physical superiority than a normal person. At this rate, she'll never figure it out on her own.

He directed his attention to the aid once more, "Get Sakura-san here."

TenTen shuffled her hands, attempting to reach him as he turned toward the exit. "You going to tell on me? Don't you owe me for putting me here? I can't live like this. Neji!" She let go of the bars, to run after him, to stop him.

Neji flashed stepped to her side, catching her before she could fall. He had her in his arms and she looked up in surprise, her cheeks red in embarrassment as he glared down at her.

"Okay. Maybe it's too soon."

The aid approached with a wheelchair but he picked up her weak legs and walked out of the room with her. Her hand clenched his kimono and her head rested against his shoulder. The pain in his arm was rippling and distracting. He hurried through the hall, his mind trying to delete the instinct to end the agony. But the pain helped to keep his mind away from her, he did not want to think about how much he wanted to hold her. He didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry." SHe murmured, cutting into his thoughts. "This was harder than I thought it would be. Everyone has a life and a career and a family. And I'm still eighteen years old. Thinking about my first date. It's stupid really. I'm almost thirty and I have nothing to show for it. It's sad."

TenTen reached out and opened the door to her room before he stepped in and brought her to the bed. He set her down softly, the weight of her body familiar and comfortable and yet, unavailable and distant. It was brutal. He took a step back as she got comfortable and he tucked his arm into his side, relaxing the aching muscle.

She laid her head down against the pillow staring at him. A smile played on her lips. "When did you learn to flash step? That was pretty cool."

That was a trick they had learned together. It was a rare moment where he actually laughed. She had always managed to make him smile. Even when there was nothing to smile about. Perhaps that's why he never really noticed her unhappiness. Because he was still happy despite the misery around them.

"Four days in a row." She closed her eyes, "some kind of record."

He spun on his foot, enraged by her cockiness.

"Neji?"

He felt something thrown toward him and he swung to catch it. His right hand reached out and snatched it. A small crumpled plastic cup. He knit his brows in confusion.

"What's wrong with your left arm? That's why you were there, wasn't it?"

It gave him some hope she might figure their lies out sooner rather later.

He bowed his head in goodbye and left. He turned the opposite way from the rehabilitation clinic. He was done with this hospital for today and it wasn't even 9 am. HIs arm was in too much pain. He wanted to head for the hot springs and soak. He stood in front of the elevator and waited, his thoughts going to her so swiftly and without any hesitation. The pain he felt in his chest was need. Life was difficult without her and to have her here and yet so far away was more torture than even he deserved. Hadn't he been punished enough? How many more days? How many hours, minutes, seconds?

The elevator dinged and he cleared his face of emotion, if any had gotten through as the doors peeled back. His eyes narrowed upon meeting Souji's lavender eyes wide in fear. His mouth dropped open in a sudden need to find an excuse but none prevailed. The doors moved to shut and Neji slapped his hand against it.

The obvious question to ask was what he was doing out of school but the more disturbing question made it through Neji's lips, "What happened to you?" He stepped aside to indicate Souji to exit and hesitantly, the young boy pushed against the furthest wall and slinked out. He kept his head down, his long brown hair pooling around his face as much as he could get it but it didn't hide the bruises or the busted lip.

"Um...I uh..I fell."

"On your face?"

His gaze drifted. "Yeah."

Neji grabbed his chin and forced his head up, making his eyes meet his, "Who did this?"

Souji attempted to squeeze out of it but his father gripped harder, "No one. I don't want to talk about it. I want to see mom." He pushed his hand away and darted down the hall.

Neji thought about letting him have time with TenTen but the risk was too great. If he said something he shouldn't, what damage would it cause? He took a step forward until the elevator dinged and Sakura greeted him with a smile. His anger from finding TenTen in the rehabilitation clinic this morning switched on and he set a scowl on his face that had her falter.

"Do you know what TenTen was doing this morning?"

She eased out of the elevator was an apologetic expression, "I just heard. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"If you are this incompetent of such limited degree as babysitting, how can I trust you with her mental health?"

She pressed a smile firmly to her lips, "Moving on." She held out a piece of paper, "The medical board and myself are having a meeting later on today to discuss ideas on ways to aid TenTen's recovery. You, of course, are welcome to be there. If you have any solutions you wish to apply, we would love to hear them."

"Tell the truth."

"You may suggest that." She continued with her fake smile.

A loud crash from a cart falling over from down the hall interrupted them. "Mom!" Souji's voice shouted. "Mom, are you okay?"

Neji and Sakura raced down the hallway, shoving the door open. Souji had tears in his eyes as he stood back too afraid to get closer. TenTen laid halfway on the bed, her whole body shaking as she went into shock. Sakura jumped over the downed cart and grabbed TenTen's shoulders to keep her from falling and then pressed the emergency button on the wall. Sirens wailed calling in the nurses. "Neji," She called, "In that cart, there's a needle, it's blue."

He scanned the ground before he snatched it up and handed it to her. She stuck the lid into her mouth and yanked the cap off then dived the sharp tip into TenTen's convulsing shoulder.

Nurses piled in, pushing Neji and Souji out the door. When it shut, Neji activated his gaze to watch, keeping concentration on TenTen's heartbeat. It took several minutes for her whole system to relax. The moment she was asleep, he took a breath and then whipped around, grabbing his son by the shoulders, "What did you do?"

The words were instantly familiar. And the look on his son's face drove him back two years prior and he was back in time to the moment that changed Hisaya's life.

Souji's eyes knit in a terrible pain before he ran down the hall.

Neji dropped back against the wall, frozen. His world was crumbling. Didn't TenTen understand that without her, he was no good? He was half a man? He was incomplete and would ruin the family they had left? If she didn't return soon, there might be nothing left of their life at all.


	7. Chapter 7

Hiya! Happy fourth! I will be coming out with a new fic in the next week called Push and Pull, a lighthearted neji and TenTen get together. And please take a look at Land of Pretend! I am posting on Wattpad as Miharu27. Say hello!

chapter

"Neji-san."

He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep. The stress must have stretched his exhaustion and he passed out at some point waiting for Sakura to come out of TenTen's room. He lifted his head out of his arms, pushing his black hair behind his shoulders, "How is she?"

Sakura sat beside him, tired. Black shadows wrapped her eyes and stress fussed her brow. It was here, he felt guilt for how bad he treated her. He may not like some of her advice and medical theories but her care was real. Her passion was true. TenTen was in no better hands. He trusted no one else. It had been the same with Hisaya. Perhaps she knew this and that's why she continues to give her expertise even as he degrades her.

"She had a seizure."

Neji clenched his teeth and let a breath out through his nose.

"It wasn't as bad as it sounds. She's resting. I'm going to stop visitation for a day just to give her time. I think we are over taxing her brain. She needs more time to adjust." Sakura ran a hand through her hair, "It's one of the things I've been worried about. TenTen is just so strong it's hard to know when she's tired or needs a break." Her green eyes shifted toward him for a moment and though he didn't outright see it, he felt it. "Did Souji say anything? Tell you what happened?"

"No."

She took in a deep breath, "I think…" She paused and he lifted his gaze toward her. She stared at the floor, "It might be better if she doesn't see Souji for a bit."

The guilt he felt earlier for her mistreatment fell away and his features darkened. "You tell him that." He bit darkly. "Tell him he cannot see his mother."

She sighed dropping her head, "She's my patient. I have to look out for her best interest."

"Like you did this morning?"

"Neji-san…"

Neji left, activating his Byakugan before he left the hospital to find Souji. He was easy to locate, his only two hideouts were home and Lee's house. He rapped on Lee's door once, waiting, taking a breath to rid himself of tension. Lee answered with a soft smile, stepping aside. "Souji told me what happened." He murmured, glancing into the back room. "Just be patient with him."

"Patient. I have an abundance of patience."

Lee pat him on the back and Neji stepped down the hallway standing in front of the boy's adopted room. He took another moment before he turned the knob and stepped in. Souji sat up on the bed, putting his feet on the floor and kept his head bowed and his hands in his lap. The bruises had time to darken but the swelling had diminished.

Neji grabbed a chair from the desk and set it in front of him, sitting with a straight back. He shifted uncomfortably, tucking his hands into his sleeves. Should he start first? TenTen would tell him he should be the one to begin. But how? "Your mother is fine."

He nodded, sniffing and rubbing his nose.

"I...I apologize for earlier. I should not have yelled at you. I was worried."

His head bowed further.

"Tell me what happened with your mother."

Souji shook his head, "You are going to be mad."

"This is a difficult situation. You are seven years old and cannot understand it. For me to expect anything of you is not reasonable. That stated, I will not be mad."

Souji rubbed his cheeks, taking an unnecessary amount of time to gain courage. "We were talking about...what happened at school…" There was a pause that made Neji's brows knit. "I asked her if she remembered anything. And then she fell over." Souji stood suddenly desperate. "I really don't know what happened, dad. I didn't touch her, please don't hate me. I didn't touch her."

Neji held up a hand, stomping his plea. "You aren't telling me everything."

A soft knock on the door and Lee leaned his head in. "Excuse me, but can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Lee."

"Just a minute."

He tapped his arm watching his son deflate and sit back upon the bed. "Get your stuff. You are coming home." Neji got up and shut the door behind him, "Why are you interfering?"

Lee journeyed down the hallway a bit before he turned to face him, "In his defense, you said you wouldn't be mad."

"I-" Neji cut himself off to reign his temper. "I am not mad." He managed calmly. "I simply want the entire story. He is obviously leaving something out."

"He doesn't want his dad to know he got beat up at school. Is that so strange?"

Neji glared, "You know."

Lee winced, shrugging, "I'm easier to talk to. But that's not the point. He misses his mother. He said something he shouldn't have and it caused a horrible reaction. He's scared, he's sorry, and he wants you to tell him it wasn't his fault. So go in there, hug him, and say it's okay." He pushed against the stubborn Hyuuga's shoulders, forcing him down the hall.

"He is old enough. He should not-"

"He is not you, Neji. He has personality." A glare shot over his shoulder but Lee walked away with a smile.

Neji stared at the door once again with fisted hands. There were other things he needed to be doing other than dealing with the emotionally upset of a seven year old. And those suddenly became very important. He spun from the door and fastened down the hallway. "Send him home for dinner." He rushed out into the road, forgetting the look of disappointment in his best friend's face. He was not this concerned parent that talked about feelings. He was a ninja and ninja bottle up their emotions and keep moving forward. That was the end of it. No conversations needed to be had about it. He sat and watched his wife get raped and he wasn't sitting around waiting to talk to someone about it. He wasn't waiting for someone to hug him and tell him it was alright. He went through the proper channels of denial, nightmares, night sweats, days without eating, and now he was capable of closing his eyes without reliving it.

"Neji-sama!"

He turned, watching a nurse running toward him. Panic fastened his heart and he flash stepped in front of her and she nearly ran into him but he caught her by the arms. "What it is?"

She panted, catching her breath, taking her time, aggravating him before she held up a piece of paper. He snatched and regnoized the writing. TenTen was asking for him. His breath came heavy. Did the seizure trigger something? Did she remember him? He could see the hospital in the distance just below the faces of the numerous hokages. What would he find when he got there?

Neji jumped up a building and ran toward her. He found he was afraid to face her. All this time to prepare himself for her anger or blame, or her sadness, and he realized suddenly he wasn't ready for it. He had nothing prepared when he greeted her. No readied apology, no excuse, no speech that would make up for what's happen.

He slowed as he approached her door. His breath was heavy and he concentrated on calming his heart as he raised his hand. One last breath and he fixed the emotions on his face to the stoic facade he master before ten and entered.

TenTen rested in bed, her eyes closed and for a moment he wondered if she were sleeping but then she opened her eyes and a soft tired smile slipped on her lips. He knew from the expression alone that she hadn't remembered anything at all. He bowed his head in greeting but it hid his disappointment.

"How's Souji? Did I frighten him?" She whispered waving him forward and moving her leg to make room on the bed.

"Worry more about your health." He sat, heavy with stress. She was too tired, he was sure, to notice, and therefore he did not hide it as well as he should have.

Her eyes were on him and though her lids were heavy and they were bags of sleep under her eyes, she continued to watch him. "Who's Hisaya?"

His eyes shot up, unprepared. There were no words on his lips even as he opened them.

"Was he a friend of Souji's?"

"How…" He cleared his throat, shutting down any sentiments building in his chest. "How do you know that name?"

She looked away, feeling guilty. "Souji. The kids at school. They say he killed Hisaya."

Neji's brows knit and his back stiffened. "They…" He drifted off uncertain what to say. His son was getting beaten up at school for something that happened two years ago. How did they even know? They were little kids, they didn't understand anything. How dare they touch his son, who had been through more than any of those brats.

He stood up.

"Neji, don't."

"This is not your concern."

"He doesn't want you to know."

He looked to her, "He is my son. I should know."

Her eyes drifted and it was a common characteristic that he had come to know over time. She had more to tell. "What is it?"

She took a breath sighing. "It's none of my business."

"Yet you are now involved. Tell me."

Her brow set in aggravation but it softened before she spoke, "He thinks you blame him too. He feels responsible."

"He is responsible."

"Neji."

"But I do not blame him." He sat on the bed once more. He stared off in the distance, reliving the moment when he heard Souji's scream. He had turned away from his two kids playing on the bottom of the stairs, and in that second, everything changed. Souji had been five years old, aware that actions had consequences but not so far as death. A simple push, a fall and Hisaya's head smacking against the edge of stair.

"What happened?"

He blinked reverting to the present, meeting the chocolate brown of her eyes. She had been there, running down the steps with him as they both kneeled beside Hisaya, they both called his name, grabbed his tiny hands, shook his small shoulders until he finally opened his eyes again and began to cry. It had been in that instant he turned to Souji, gripping his arm, 'What did you do?'

Neji stood, "I must get back." He moved for the door.

"Neji, I know you all are lying to me."

He stared ahead, unsure what she knew. There were plenty of lies, she needed to be more specific.

"I can see bits and pieces of the war. Certain things aren't adding up either. No one is talking about Gai-sensei. He's on a mission in Land of snakes, then Wind, then Lightning. Someone else told me, he was here but I was sleeping. I knew Kakashi was Hokage. And Souji...I...I've met him..."

He slowly turned to face her.

She stared at the light shining above her. "I haven't been sleeping for twelve years." Her eyes drifted to him. "I expect lies from them. But not from you."

All the times he wanted to tell her the truth and he found himself incapable. Today was proof she wouldn't make it. He would lose her completely. But she was right. He could not lie further. "We were on mission. I misjudged our enemy and you got hurt. I have not lied to you about that. You have been in a coma and you have lost your memory. Until you are strong enough, we will continue to lie to you. We do not want to risk losing you again."

TenTen took a deep breath in before she closed her eyes, "Okay."

The walk home was slow. There were multiple things on his mind and they all needed his attention.

TenTen was remembering. It should have brought relief but instead it worried him. What if she remembered things that she wasn't ready for? What if she remembered them wrong or without all the facts? Could she end up hating him? Could she end up hating Souji? Or Sakura? Or perhaps even blaming herself for some things? Yet he could not control what she remembered or how she remembered. It was all out of his hands. He was frustrated with Sakura's choices but had no other alternatives to her options. She was smarter in this field and he could only trust in her to do what she thought was right.

As his compound came into view, Souji entered his mind. This was something that was in his control, something that he had full authority to do something about and he wanted no part in it. And perhaps that's why they were at this point.

Neji and TenTen had been too involved in their own grief and their own way to deal with it, that they had overlooked Souji. For the most part they thought he was too young to hold onto any trauma. They thought he would forget HIsaya as they had wanted to forget HIsaya. They erased him. They emptied his room, threw out all pictures, all clothes, all toys, all things Hisaya had ever touched within the first week of his death, until there was no evidence at all that he ever existed. That was how they dealt with death. It was not healthy. It was not perhaps the best way. But it was their way. And Souji was an innocent bystander to the entire event. They should have thought of him more. But at the time, they wanted nothing to do with him because it was inevitable to blame him despite it being an accident.

It took a few months for the resentment to fade. To learn to love him the way they used too. For Neji it came faster. Souji had a way about him to make everyone love him. For TenTen who was gone more, it was a year before she hugged her son again.

Neji entered the house. The smell of dinner brought him into the parlor and he sat at the table. It was a few moments until Souji entered with a bowed head and sat at his spot. The food was brought out after that and they ate in silence. It was difficult to swallow knowing his son was suffering because of their neglect. He glanced at TenTen's empty seat, wishing she were here to help with this.

"Souji." Neji began placing his chopsticks down.

The boy mimicked his father's movements, sitting straighter but remained with downcast eyes. "You will fight these boys at school."

"It's not a big deal."

"It is. You are a Hyuuga. You represent this clan everywhere you go."

Souji shrugged.

Neji picked up his chopsticks to begin eating again until he spoke.

"But they're right." He whispered. "Everyone says so. Even you and mom. I killed him." Tears dripped down his cheeks and he sniffed softly, trying his hardest to hide it.

Neji clenched his teeth, "Have I said that? Has your mother?"

"No."

"Then do not put words into our mouths. You will stand up for yourself. You have done nothing to be ashamed of."

Souji stood, his face full of pain as he met his father's face, "You still can't say it! You believe it like everyone else! I killed Hisaya. It's my fault he's dead! And mom doesn't even want to know me anymore."

"Souji."

"May I be excused?" He bowed his head with his shoulders shaking, tears pouring off his chin.

Neji was hesitant but he could give him no other reassurance and nodded once, watching the boy run down the hall. He felt the eyes of his servants and he glanced in their direction and they quickly began cleaning up the dining area, taking Souji's food off the table. He waved for them to take his own meal away as well. He sat in the silence of the room for a long time, wondering why it was so hard to give Souji the words he needed to hear. Did he have lingering resentment toward Souji? He thought that feeling had gone. He had worked so hard to quell it, to stop it from developing further and yet here he was unable to console his living son because of the guilt toward his dead one.

Neji stood walking down the hall. He stood in front of Souji's door, listening to him cry. His hand lifted to the handle but it fell back to his side. He moved to the next door over. The closed bedroom was silent. He reached into his kimono and pulled out a small key and placed it quietly into the lock, twisting it. For a moment he didn't move, unsure if he wanted to continue on this path. Then he pushed the screen open and stepped in.

The room was empty. It was simply a square with wood floors and walls. And aside from light pouring in from the hallway it was dark. Neji reached back into the hall to grab the lantern off the wall and proceeded inside turning to the right. On the floor against the wall was the only remaining picture of Hisaya. He had the same lavender eyes as Neji and black hair. But TenTen shined in his chubby cheeks. He was so small. No more than thirty pounds. TenTen had cut his hair, much to Neji's disinclination and it ended sharply at his ears. The picture was surrounded by candles and small celestial figuriese. Neji kneeled down in front of it and set the lantern beside it, before taking a breath and bending down, pressing his forehead against the floor.

Why was it so easy to apologize to Hisaya, to a boy that could no longer hear him, that wasn't crying or in pain, that no longer needed his hand or a hug, but he couldn't bring himself to go next door and apologize to Souji who needed him now and here, for failing him as well?


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks sleepingjaybird for understanding character development. ;)

I will be coming out with a lighthearted comedy-Push and Pull by the end of the day, keep me in your favs to get alerts!

chapter

TenTen was getting out tomorrow. Two months since the event and she was finally coming home.

After some convincing, mixed understanding, and her impatiences, she decided to take Neji's generous offer to stay at the Hyuuga compound. He had this pre planned so that when the day arrived, she would not have the ability to say no. He refused to let her stay anywhere else but it had to be all natural excuses or else she would suspect something.

But he had thought this through.

She believed had no money to buy her own place but he had ample space and a current vacant lot she could use. She had no furnishing. That lot just happened to be fully furnished. She still needed to be cared for to a certain extent. His servants would provide her with freedom while keeping an eye on her well being.

And though she had still protested, he had insisted because it was his fault that she had gotten injured to begin with, it was his obligation to see to her well being and that ended any suspicious move on his part. She finally accepted, hoping to end his guilt.

Now, Neji simply needed to make the compound completely void of TenTen's prior existence and that was turning out to be more difficult than he had imagined. Her favorite flower was the Pieris, a drooping white or pink flower that spread like wildfire throughout the compound. She used its nectar as a poisonous toxin to dip her knives in. She had done this ever since her teenage years and would notice the plant instantly upon entering. Every shrub needed to be extracted.

On the inside of his home, furniture needed to be brought to storage and replaced. He did not know how or what could trigger memories as it was returning randomly. He did not want any unhappiness to return before she was ready to handle it. He had the servants remove all pictures of her, of the family in general. Anything that she had bought was taken into storage as well. All weapons and all her clothes were also removed.

Souji watched with trepidation, unsure what this was. Neji placed a hand on his shoulder as they watched the carriage take all his mother's things out of the compound. "How is this going to bring mom back?" He wondered tiredly.

Neji did not have an answer.

Souji brushed him off and ran down the steps, taking off after the cart.

He turned back into the house.

* * *

Lee and Neji waited for her on the outside of the hospital. Lee kept glancing at him, leaning on one foot then another, leaning forward to look at his face then straightening only to sigh.

"What?" Neji irritably questioned.

"You nervous?"

"Nervous?"

"Do you remember TenTen at this age? She was crazy and violent. And perverted." He chuckled, his cheeks reddening but he ignored Neji's dark look and moved on, "She's going to be living with you. She might burn down your house."

"I can handle TenTen."

"I think I remember you saying that ten years ago. And in two months you were leaving for your honeymoon."

The doors opened then and Sakura and TenTen exited. They were talking softly, smiles on their faces, and they embraced quickly before Sakura waved goodbye and reentered the hospital. TenTen took a breath of fresh air, smiling brightly and put her hand on her hip before she met the gazes of her teammates. Her brows knit in confusion at their dumbfounded expressions. "What?"

TenTen wore her old training gear, a white kimono top with red pants. Her hair rolled into twin buns on the top of her head. She had black gloves covering her hands and black sandals at her feet. She looked exactly as she used too. She hadn't worn such a thing in over ten years.

Though they wondered how she managed to get such clothing, neither of them said a thing and they both shook their heads.

Lee shifted to her left and Neji to her right and they began to walk, "Do you want to do anything today?" Lee asked.

"Yes. I want to see Gai-sensei."

There was a silence and TenTen broke it. "Just take me to him."

Lee looked to Neji and he nodded his head once and so he took the lead, turning west toward the graveyard.

They walked through the grass and Lee pointed to the plaque in the ground. TenTen stiffened her back and stood in front of it.

Neji's eyes drifted elsewhere and Lee noticed. He nudged him, keeping him from dipping into despair.

"It doesn't feel real." She murmured as she kneeled down and rested her fingers against his name. "What happened? Where were we? Was I...Was I in a coma then?"

Neji clenched his teeth. "This is not healthy for you."

"The truth isn't healthy for me." She scoffed, ripping weeds out from around the grave. Then she stalled, "This is new." She breathed, flipping her head up to look at them. "How long ago?"

"Six months." Neji replied carelessly. He was no longer in the mood of taking it slow. It hadn't been his decision to keep the truth from her. If she had any resentment it should be directed at Sakura. Why did she get a smile and a hug?

Lee kneeled beside her, "There was nothing we could have done. He had a heart attack on a mission. He couldn't get help in time."

"A heart attack? He was the healthiest..."

"He stressed his body too many times by opening the gates. It was a side effect he knew about. He knew he could die young."

Neji's eyes drifted once again. They had rested Gai beside Hisaya to give him a partner in Heaven. His silver plague lay clean and with fresh flowers. A servant came daily to care for it. He hadn't been by in several weeks he realized. Perhaps even before the mission that had disrupted their lives. Neji turned his back, lest he be caught. But it was like Hisaya was sitting there, staring at him, asking him what he had done wrong to not receive a visit.

Neji couldn't take it. "I will be at the compound when you are ready to arrive."

And though he heard his name, he did not look back. He made it to his compound and went straight to the training ground. The wooden sticks were buried deep into the ground and he bent down in front of them, stretching out his arms and attacked.

TenTen may be ready to find answers to her missing past but Neji wasn't sure he was ready to expose any truths. There were parts of his past that he had forgotten for a reason. There were sections he deleted on purpose. He did not want to go through them minute by minute just to sedate her curiosity. If she couldn't remember them on her own then maybe she should just wait until her brain decides to show her itself.

Souji tentatively approached but Neji did not stop his hits, spinning and smacking the wood with accurate procession years of practice had built into him. No amount of neglect could make him forget the steps and he barely had to concentrate to find the rhythm. A member of the clan stepped up, eager to practice against him and he took the offer with vigor but the match ended within three minutes. Another, however, was ready to take his place.

Souji jumped down from the fence, distracting him and Neji was hit hard in the chest. Neji clenched his teeth and spun, slamming a quick palm into his opponent's sternum. She slide twenty feet back but managed to keep to her feet. He put up a hand, ending their match and she bowed.

He turned watching Souji run toward the entrance. TenTen entered alone and greeted Souji with a wave of a gloved hand. He skipped along beside her, happy to see her again after the weeks of being denied. He was smiling and laughing. And Neji watched him, grateful for this moment. It had been too long since he heard Souji's laugh and it was a sound he enjoyed.

"I thought you didn't train anymore." She grinned.

He looked back at the crowd that had gathered. If only she knew they were there to see her. "It is basic warm up."

"Sure." She pulled out a kunai from her pocket, "How about a real challenge?"

Neji folded his arms, heading toward his home, "You just got out of the hospital. Do you wish to go back so soon?"

The kunai flew over his shoulder, whizzing by his ear and it hit the door ahead of him. He wondered if she would notice the dozens of marks in the wood from the numerous times she's done the same movement. And just as he did not take the bait before, he was not taking the bait now. Neji pulled the kunai out and went inside. He sat in the center parlor and the servant brought in tea. He waited patiently for her temper to ebb before she entered. Her glare was prevalent even as Souji pulled her to the table. He sat her in her usual seat and was eager to sit beside her and pour the tea for her. She waved her hands, her cheeks reddening as she bowed her head in apology, "I'm sorry, I don't like tea."

Souji's brows knit. "Yes, you-"

"The servants will get you whatever you like." Neji pointed to the man bowing at the entrance. He ignored his son's questioning gaze.

"Water, please, I'm sorry."

Souji giggled, "You don't have to say sorry. They're servants."

"They are also people." She crisply replied.

Again, Souji's face twisted in question toward his dad.

"Souji, do you have school work?"

"I…" He bowed his head, "Yes, sir."

"Join us for dinner."

Souji stood, pathetically depressed, bowed and slumped his way to his room.

"He's a little dramatic for a boy." She noted, standing. "His mother must have been-"

"You will refrain from making comments like those."

She snorted. "Touchy subject. Okay. So where am I staying?"

"Here."

Her dark brows knit. "Here? As in, the same place as you?"

"Did your memory take the meaning of the word 'here' as well?"

"I thought you said you have a vacant property."

"A vacant room."

"You said property."

"The room is attached to the property."

"You have become more of a jerk in your old age."

Neji took a sip of his tea before replying. "Follow Leo. He will take you to your room."

The servant came up to her side, bowing. She glared at him for a moment and sighed, "I have nowhere else to go. So I'll stay. But the moment I can start missions again and make my own money, I'm out of here. I'm no charity case."

He nodded and watched her turn out of the room. Leo looked back at him, softy, sadly perhaps and bowed his head and followed TenTen.

Neji thought he could handle this but he was beginning to wonder how. How could he live with TenTen and not be with her? How could he talk to her everyday and not reveal himself? How could he do a simple task like look at her, and not have all of his secrets exposed? She had been able to read him long before he had even known his own desires. She used to tease him and provoke him if only to get him to realize he was in love with her. But that happened when she was older, wiser, more comfortable with herself. Not now, when she still thought of herself innocent and naive. What if he ended up pushing her away somehow? What if this new TenTen didn't love him?

Again he was only thinking of how difficult it was for him. Souji was put in a very challenging position. He was only seven years old and had to see his own mother become a different person that didn't know him. He pretended to understand because it was expected of him but Neji could tell he was having trouble. How long until he breaks?

Dinner went by with Souji as a good bumper. He kept conversation continuous, talking more about multiple subjects than Neji knew he was interested in. It was more than he's talked in two months. His jubilation was obvious and Neji enjoyed watching his son so excited. He had missed it. After every mission when TenTen would come home, he would be like this for days. It didn't matter to him that this version of TenTen wasn't interested in what he had to say, she pretended well enough and that was all he needed. Neji glanced at her a few times and her boredom was in every muscle, every sigh, every chew of her food. She nodded when it was called upon and made sounds that encouraged him but it was weak. He did not like her toying with his son's emotions. If she did not want to listen then tell him but she continued regardless.

After dinner, they usually take a walk through the compound, talk to the other members briefly, let Souji ran around and waste his energy but that was with his wife, not this fake and so Neji sent Souji to his room early and once again they watched the dramatic display as he dragged his feet to his room. He waved to the servant to bring in a bottle of sake and they set it on the table. He waited for a moment for TenTen to serve but she was waiting too. He had a momentary lapse, forgetting that along with her memory loss so had her manners.

TenTen stood, "I'm going out. Don't wait up."

He stiffened as she headed for the exit, "Out?"

With her hands on her hips, she looked at him, "Yes. Is that okay? Or do I need permission?"

He did not reply as he threw back the shot of liquor.

She scrunched up her nose, "You hate sake."

"When I was young. As a man, I find it fits my tastes." He poured himself another glass and decided to test her curiosity and poured one for her, pushing it forward.

She kneeled back down at the table, staring at it. "I've never had any alcohol before."

Neji suppressed a scoff. Her body was seventy percent sake. He held up his glass, waiting for her.

"Just one."

He's heard that before. He nodded, humoring her.

She tentatively took it between two fingers and brought it to her nose. "It smells like fruit." Her brows began to dip and Neji's heart fastened. He had forgotten to change the sake. This was her favorite. He watched her face, trying to discern if she was remembering something or if she was going to have a seizure here in his living room.

"It's familiar." She whispered and she looked up, "I've had this before, haven't I?"

He nodded once.

Slowly, TenTen put the cup back down, "It's probably not a good idea to drink alcohol with a brain injury, huh?" She smiled softly, disheartened. Her hands rested in her lap and it was silent for a while. Neji continued to drink though he kept his eyes on the table. He wanted to talk to her, wanted her to remember everything already but it didn't matter what he wanted. It mattered what was good for her. "Everyone that came to visit me at the hospital, all they can talk about is their life. Things that have happened. Their wives, their husbands. Their jobs. Their kids. Dogs, cats. Just stuff that I don't really care about and yet they just go on and on about it, wanting to share it." Her eyes lifted, meeting his, "But you haven't told me one thing about you. I know more about Souji's life than I do about yours. We're friends, aren't we? Aren't you ever going to talk to me again? We used to have good conversations."

Neji poured himself another glass. "I thought you were leaving."

Sadness furrowed her brows, "Time only made you colder. I'm sorry if it's because of me." She darted out the door.

Neji downed the sake and slammed it on the table. His wife did not like conversation. There was nothing that they talked about. They enjoyed each other's company and that was enough. They stopped talking. And it was that sentence that made Neji wonder.

When...When did they stop talking?

This TenTen was right. They used to talk. They used to talk about everything and quite often. But in the past few years, talking had become...difficult.

"You're being mean." Souji's voice echoed down the hall and Neji leaned over the table to see his body in the darkness, barely out of his doorway.

"I told you to go to sleep, boy."

"You are going to chase her away. You're never mean to mom. Why are you treating her any different?"

Neji poured himself another glass. Because she was different. This teenage girl was not his wife. She was too emotional, too talkative, too sporadic in her thought process. When he was younger, he had patience to deal with it. She was interesting and new. He needed her to make life brighter and to push all his limits to the max. She was competitive and he found that the most attractive, as he needed a partner to compete with in every aspect of life. She provided all that he required. Including love.

Now that pivotal piece that brought them together was not there. She did not love him.

"Go to bed."

"You have to get her back, dad. You just have too." Souji slipped back into his room and shut the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks Clato- I was feeling really bummed when I got no reviews last chapter and then yours brightened my day.

\- Chaper

Loud voices woke him. His head pounded and he could barely move. A hand rested against his head and his brows knit in agony. He shifted, sitting up, regretting such an action as dizziness and nausea swept over him. He grabbed the nightstand to steady himself. He noticed a pitcher of water, a glass, and two aspirins waiting. He sighed. Leo must have brought him to bed last night after he past out. He had never done such a stupid and ugly thing before. Though, there were several nights TenTen and him would come home well beyond their limit. She always pushed him to do one more even when he knew he was reaching his peak. But at least those nights he could remember. The drunken, pathetic lovemaking that followed was probably better left forgotten but any time with her was always memorable. Her laughter during these humiliating events always made them worth it.

The screaming was getting more of his attention and he got to his feet uneasily and made it to the door. He leaned against the doorway and shoved the panel open, realizing then it was Souji and TenTen. The little seven year old was jumping at her side as she held something above her head, "You aren't getting it back. It's mine."

"No, it's mine!" Souji growled back, smacking at her arm in desperation, "Give it back!"

"No, you little thief!"

Neji was tired still but his interest was piqued and he stepped down the hall, gaining Souji swift attention. "Dad! She took my kunai."

"You stole it from me!" TenTen growled back.

Neji squeezed his eyes shut, his head pounding as their loud obnoxious voices seemed only to echo. "Let me see it."

TenTen handed it to him, "Gai-sensei gave this to me at my eighteenth birthday." She turned it over in his palm, pointing at the initial. "T.T. T.G. TenTen Team Gai! Your son's a thief!"

Souji stomped his foot, "I didn't steal it! You gave it to me!"

Neji handed the kunai to his son and the boy snatched it, running down the hallway only to turn around and stick out his tongue. "Go." Neji waved him away and Souji darted out the door.

He returned his gaze to TenTen. She had lost all her fight and stood there, unsure. She blinked, turning around and resting her back against the wall. "Did I?"

"Yes."

Her brows knit in sadness and her head rested back against the wall.

He turned down the hall, "Breakfast will be ready soon."

"I don't like breakfast." And then she waited, "Or do I now?"

He sighed and looked back at her, "I will not tell you who you are supposed to be. Be who you are until you are no one else."

A soft smile slipped on her lips. "I'm apparently a drunk." She stepped after him and they sat at the table in the parlor. The servants brought in tea and water and breakfast pastries before exiting. TenTen instantly reached out for one and Neji noticed it secretly before her hand retracted and her brows knit in wonder. "I met some friends at a bar and the bartender knew me. He asked if I'm putting it on my tab. I have a tab at a bar."

A Hyuga funded tab but she hopefully did not look too much into it.

"But that made me realize something else." She played with her fingers at the table. "This accident. It just happened, didn't it?"

Neji set his cup on the table, gently. "Yes."

"So I've lost twelve years of memories."

She seemed okay with this fact and so Neji answered honestly. "Yes."

"And all these people, telling me their life stories, they were trying to get me to remember. Because I was there, wasn't I?"

"Yes."

"You and me…"

Neji's heart fastened.

"We were on a mission."

His eyes lowered to his cup of tea, watching the steam.

"Something happened. You got hurt. Your arm. And I got hit in the head. So I knew about Gai-sensei. I've met your son. I probably know the mother, don't I? It's all in here." She grabbed her head, "And I can't get to it." Her fist pounded on the table. "That's so frustrating. This is the worst thing to happen to me." She scoffed, "That I know of." TenTen rested her head in her arms at the table as he continued to sip his tea, unsure what to do or say to make it better. Then her head popped up, "I should have an apartment."

He mentally winced and took a drink simply to give himself more time. He needed to think quickly. "Your lease ended and they evicted you."

She snapped to her feet, "What jerks! What about my stuff?"

Oh, she was asking too many questions. He took another sip.

"Neji, what about my stuff?" She pushed.

"It's in storage."

"Storage?"

"Lee and I packed up your stuff and used the Hyuga storage facility."

"Oh. Well, thank you. Can you take me to it? I can't afford clothes and if I have some I'd rather do that then borrow more stuff from you. Or...I should have a bank account...Twelve years of missions should have amounted to something."

A servant handed Neji a piece of paper and he read over briefly before handing it back. "Lee invited us to lunch. We will go to the storage afterwards. As for your bank account. I will look into it." In other words, he will have to create one.

She blinked, looking toward the retreating servant. "You're pretty comfortable with the help. I never thought you would be okay with having servants."

"They are here because they want to be. I pay them well and they live well. Where is the problem?"

"It's degrading."

"A prideful declaration."

She stuck out her tongue. He wondered if she realized where Souji had picked up such a habit. How couldn't she tell how much they looked and acted alike? He suppressed a smile, taking a sip of tea.

* * *

Lee journeyed with them to the storage, which was Neji's intention. Having Lee was a buffer, allowing him to step back into his silent role of the third wheel he was accustomed to while they chatted and enjoyed each other's company. He was still recovering from a hangover and dealing with TenTen's chit-chat was not in his capabilities today. Usually he and his wife suffered hangovers together and quiet is the way they coped. It was silly how even the little things seemed to matter. If he could completely delete himself all together he would have but as the storage was held on Hyuga property, his presence was necessary.

Neji waved to the guard at the gate and they pulled back the thick doors. A servant came out to escort them, carrying a cart behind him incase they wished to take something back. TenTen attempted to send him away but with an uncertain look to Neji, he bowed his head and carried forward.

"It's their job." He explained lowly.

"It's unnecessary." She bit under her breath.

He would not have another conversation about it and hastened ahead. The truth is, they've already done this back and forth banter about servants ten years prior. She had been the same hard-headed, independant creature she's being now. Her words were nearly the same, every crisp reply and every annoyed look. But time had made her come to terms with life at the Hyuuga compound. She was the one that hired the new staff they had. Leo was a close friend of hers.

The door to the storage ran upward and the servant went about lighting the lanterns with a quick match. Boxes and furniture intermixed and her eyes ran over it in confusion. "Is this mine?"

Lee helped at this point, "You splurged and got really nice furniture last year."

A hand rested on a sleek leather couch. "I just...don't see myself buying any of this stuff."

She pulled back the top of a box and peaked in, pulling out an ornate kimono dress. Her brows knit in wild confusion. "Who's is this?"

Neji was getting frustrated and ready to leave. "Everything here is yours."

"I would never wear this."

That particular piece he had bought for her for their ten year anniversary three months ago. And she had loved it. And he had loved taking it off of her.

Folding his arms, he leaned against the entryway, ignoring Lee's sympathetic glance. "Grab a box and let's go."

TenTen sidestepped that one and moved to another one. Neji's brows knit at the sound of glass when she dug her hands in. Lee moved quickly, shifting the box away, "You're looking for clothes, right? Let me help."

"I saw frames. I bet it's pictures of people I've met and places I've been. I want to see them."

Lee pushed against her, "You are still healing, TenTen. Let me go through them first, okay?"

TenTen shoved out of his hold, stepping back. "What are you protecting me from? I know all the big stuff, don't I?"

Neji interrupted, "Do you want to return to the hospital? Live another month there? Or succumb to another coma?"

She shook her head, her eyes darting between them. "How am I supposed to get better if you two wrap me up in a bubble? You've known me my entire life. Do you really think I'm not strong enough to handle what's in that box?"

Lee calmly spoke, "It's not about that, TenTen. It's too much all at once."

"Yes." Neji broke through, catching both of their attention. Their confusion made him continue, "You are not strong enough. Not yet. There will be time to learn everything but not now."

TenTen's brows knit, "You've always underestimated me."

"It's because I overestimated, that you got hurt to begin with." Neji spun on his foot and walked out. He was done with this. If she wants to ruin herself than she can do so without him. He needed to sleep. His brain was on fire.

* * *

Several times during the day there was a knock on his door but he did not answer. The lack of sleep, the lack of eating, the amount of stress, dealing with her here on the compound; it all had finally overwhelmed him and his body could do no more but lay here. Sleep was random and when he woke he would stare unseeing at the ceiling or wall. Leo had slipped in during one of the times he was sleeping and rested a tray beside him of soup and bread and now, near midnight, he finally sat up and ate it. It was cold and mushy but he forced it if only to help the sickness in his belly. Afterwards, he found the ability to take a shower, grateful for the heat.

He took the tray to the kitchens, knowing the servants were well asleep and then searched the unfamiliar room for a bottle of sake. It didn't matter to him that yesterday was an awful day. He simply wanted to feel better than what he currently did right now and sake provided those moments of ignorance he desired. He growled when he knocked over a tin full of rice and it scattered all over the floor. For a moment he thought about leaving it but TenTen, as his conscience, would not allow it, and now he looked for a broom which was a bit easier to find. He was sweeping when real live TenTen stepped in and leaned against the doorway. He ignored her existence, leaning down to brush the rice onto a plate and poured the spoiled contents into the trash.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Souji is worried."

His poor neglected son. Neji would talk to him in the morning.

He squatted down and picked up more, pouring the rest into the trash. He rested the broom back where he had found it before resuming his search.

"What are you looking for?"

"You should be sleeping."

"You can't send me to bed." She smiled warmly.

"Hn." He closed the cupboards and moved onto another. Leo had to have hid it. It was the only thing that made sense. This wasn't the first time he had come in search for liquor. Then again, TenTen was usually the one searching.

Triumphant, he snatched up the bottle and went to the cupboard and grabbed a glass. He pushed out a chair at the small kitchen table the servants use and sat to pour himself a drink.

"You aren't going to offer me one?"

He pointed to a chair and got up to get her a cup as well before sitting back down. But she hadn't moved.

"I can't figure it out."

He swallowed deep before inquiring, "What?"

"Us."

Neji poured himself another cup, keeping his eyes on the liquid shining in the moonlight.

She continued. "You're distant, but you've been here everyday since I woke. You're cold, but you are doing all these things for me, caring for me. You're silent. But you're eyes…" He met her gaze. "They keep trying to tell me things and I can't understand it."

Neji looked back to his drink and swung it back. He reached for the bottle again but her fingers were around it. She had moved quickly and he looked up at her, a foot in front of him. She stepped between his legs, her hand resting down on the table as she leaned closer. "What are you hiding from me, Neji? Whatever it is, I can handle it." She half-lidded eyes glanced to his lips as she moved closer, her breath shaking. Her knee rested on the chair, between his legs, nearly touching him. He swallowed, holding his own breath, unsure what to do, what she was doing or why. To have his wife so close nearly broke his level of discipline but it wasn't her. It wasn't the woman he's loved for ten years.

Neji twisted his head away, "I'm not hiding anything." He stood, pushing her back and he grabbed the bottle, making his way to the door.

"Is it her?" TenTen kept her back to him, the shame of rejection keeping her still. "Souji's mother?"

She needed confirmation that she wasn't being turned away because he wasn't attracted to her. Her innocence needed it. And so he gave her it, "Yes." He stepped down the hall and into his room, shutting the door behind him. He banged the bottle on the dresser, cursing himself for getting caught in such a predicament.

If he took it for the dynamics that it was, he made sense, She was a teenager caught in hectic hormonal imbalances. She would see his actions as a means of sexual desire. He was a man to her, ten years her elder. He was unmarried and she was had no boyfriend. Anything he did for her was meant to get her into bed. Not because of friendship or obligation. And he knew she had always found him attractive, she had told him this herself. This was a perfect situation for her and she was using it to her advantage.

But he could not sleep with her in her state. It would be like cheating on his wife. She was not in her right state of mind. She didn't know who she was or who he was. He could not take advantage of the situation. It was her needs he had to keep in mind. Not his own.

If he was any crueler to her, she might not love him when this was all over. But if he became any nicer, she would misinterpret that for something else.

Why did the days seem to keep getting longer?

* * *

It was a bad few days that followed. TenTen remembered the war completely. The death of hundreds plagued in her mind. She went and talked to Naruto and Hinata and stayed with them for the night. She had left them a message, explaining her absence and apologizing. Neji was relieved for the break. He found himself capable of channeling his mind on clan duties, meeting up with other members and talking about the needs that he had neglected for the past two months. They reassured him that everything was running smoothly and to please take his time but he wanted to be included. If anything, he wished he had more excuses to leave the house. Perhaps if he wasn't around as much, he wouldn't have to be mean or nice to TenTen.

Souji however was depressed on the absence of his mother and Neji came upon him after school one day sitting on the house steps, flicking the kunai into the steps, repeatedly. And though he wanted to remark about how it was ruining the floor, he instead chose a different route.

"Walk with me."

Grabbing the knife, he stuck it into its holster at the hem of his jeans and followed his dad.

They took a walk around the gardens, over the bridge toward the playground.

"You may ask me anything." Neji pushed, wanting to talk to his son but not having an idea of where to start.

"Why is mom acting like a kid?"

"Maturity is a state of mind. Your mother's mind is broken and she reverts to childish behavior as a defense." Souji's quiet disposition told him that he didn't quite understand so Neji restated it. "She believes she is a child and is therefore acting like one."

"But she's not."

"No."

"Why can't we tell her yet? She doesn't look hurt anymore."

"Telling her will help nothing. She must learn by herself."

"Like when you told me not to touch the flowers because they were poisonous but I touched them anyway."

Neji thought of the simility. "When I describe to you the kaiten. It is confusing and sounds impossible. But then you attempt yourself and you find it is not so difficult."

Souji bounced with a smile, "I get it! But…" He drifted, losing his smile. "But how are we helping mom learn who she is? It feels like we've taken everything away so she doesn't find out."

Neji signed out and a soft smile pressed on his lips. This is what he was trying to explain to Sakura. If a seven year old boy can see a problem in their styles of healing then perhaps it is time to change tactics. He rested a hand on his son's shoulder. "You are right. Let us find a way to help her."

Souji looked up at him with a grin, "I think I know."

"Tell me."

"Kiss her."

Neji stopped, releasing him. "Excuse me?"

"Kiss mom. Mom says that's how you show you love someone. I'll kiss her too. And hugging. We should definitely hug her everyday."

"What do you know about kissing?"

Souji giggled. "I catch you guys kissing all the time. You think I don't know about kissing?"

"Not all the time."

"All the time! It's like living in a kissing house."

He narrowed his eyes as Souji began to run toward the playground to join the other kids. The boy turned around, running backwards, "But it's okay, dad. I don't mind."

Neji wondered what he would do if he gave him a big kiss right now. The thought made him chuckle and he tucked his hands into arm sleeves and joined the other parents at the bench.


	10. Chapter 10

Awesome reviews guys! I feel much better, thank you so much. Got this out quick to show my gratitude.

Chapter

Neji was relieved when word was sent that TenTen would be joining them for dinner. Three days without her had been difficult now that she was in their lives again but he had wanted to give her space and so he had done nothing about it. He had also gone to the storage. Souji had wisdom despite being so young and he was right. They needed to help TenTen remember bits and pieces of who she was. He was going to start small and on a timeline. After the war, came the two years of peace. And in that peace, they began to develop a relationship. But he did not want to begin with that. He wanted to expose other things. Other memories.

It required a lot of thought and digging through forgotten artifacts but one thing about TenTen was she was a packrat. She had a whole storage unit used for her memories and things picked up along the way and thankfully, Neji pays attention more than he thought he did.

After she does remember, he deserves a cake or something because he's being the best damned husband in the freaking universe.

TenTen entered the house and Souji was the first to jump up from the table and greet her, hugging her and pulling her down to kiss her on the cheek. She was surprised by such a greeting and blinked awkwardly, looking for Neji to perhaps save her. But then Souji went, "Dad, your turn."

Neji turned his back, "Let's eat."

Food was brought in and TenTen talked about her stay with the Uzumakis. She couldn't believe how mellow Naruto had become. Becoming a father had made him serious, as it tends to do to many people. "I don't ever want to be like that. Thank god I'm never having kids."

Souji's face depressed at this.

Neji had not prepared his son for these comments despite how many times he had heard her say it. He didn't know how to recover from it but she seemed to notice and for whatever reason she smiled and nudged him, "But if it was a boy like you, I'd have ten."

He grinned happily and took a bite.

TenTen looked to him and winced, mouthing an apology.

After dinner, dessert was brought out with drinks and here, Neji decided to approach the subject.

"While you were away, Souji and I came up with a plan to help with your memory."

"Oh?" She smiled, impressed. "Let's hear it."

Souji stood and dramatically described the idea. "A timeline. An outline of ancient artifacts from your past."

"Ancient?" She groaned.

"To help you remember who you are."

Her brows knit in curiosity.

"It will be a slow process." Neji continued. "One item, daily. To see if it provokes any memory."

She nodded, "I love it. Let's start."

Neji presented the first item. Naruto's wedding invitation.

TenTen took it, "I've seen this, already." She admitted. "Hinata showed me all their photos. I've got memory back up until the ceremony ended."

He had been prepared for this, knowing how much Hinata liked to show off her photo album. He set down another trinket. Sand poured through an hourglass. She picked it up watching as it gathered at the bottom before flipping it over.

"Land of Wind." Neji began. "We had a mission to bring down a renegade ninja and we chased him to the Land of Wind. The four of us got separated. The rogue ninja joined a band of bandits and they managed to capture you and Lee. For a week, Gai and I followed them, unable to find a way to get to the two of you. THey beat you both badly, broke your arm. Lee was unconscious. Then they split up and we destroyed their camp. The first thing you said to me was-"

"'I hate sand.'"

Her eyes lifted and a smile pulled at her lips.

"Do you remember it?"

"Some of it. It's broken and scattered. Like I keep closing my eyes." TenTen held out her hand, "Another one."

He shook his head, "One a day. Or you will tax your head."

"I want to remember everything now." She conceded however and took a bite of her dessert, before reaching over and taking a bite of Souji's.

"Hey! Dad!"

"Dad!" TenTen mocked before he tackled her and she was laughing as she tickled him. She whispered his name, stopping him and began to say something into his ear, looking at Neji with a smile on her face. "Ready?" She asked and Souji smiled. "One, two, three." Both of them ran to Neji and began tickling his sides. The man continued to eat his dessert without a care however and the two slowly lost their enthusiasm as they stared at his bored disposition. TenTen looked at Souji. "Is he always like this?"

"Not always." He gave a half smile. "He's been really grumpy lately."

"Huh."

Neji did not like them talking about him like he wasn't there. "TenTen needs to rest, Souji. Take your dessert to your room."

"Oh man." He grumbled and got to his feet. "I always have to go to my room. And I don't even have a TV." He took his plate and depressingly made his way.

TenTen looked to Neji. "He doesn't have a TV?"

"Do you see any such appliance on this compound?"

"That poor kid. Of course, he's getting beat up in school. He's living in the 18th century."

"A TV does nothing but rotten the intellect. He has books in his room."

"Oh, lucky him."

TenTen reached across the table and snatched her fork, attempting then to grab a bite of Neji's dessert but just as her spoon approached, his plate slipped from her reach. She glared. "You don't like dessert." She pointed out.

"Correction: when I was younger, I did not like dessert. I do not mind it now."

TenTen stood and walked over to her plate, whisking it up. "So you drink sake and you like dessert. The years have taught you how to indulge in life's pleasures." She smiled, taking a bite and sucking on the fork for a minute. "No wonder you have a kid." She spun on her foot, "Good night."

Neji dropped his fork on the plate after he heard her door close. He folded his arms across his chest and stared vacantly outward. She was teasing him. Just as she began to do years ago. And though perhaps this was a good sign, he wasn't sure she was ready to remember them just yet. She was still fragile, still capable of returning to a lump on a bed, unconscious and unresponsive. What if it became too much and she reverted to that state? What if all the memories mixed together and she couldn't comprehend it and it came out wrong? What if this new TenTen didn't want to be married at all? What if having her memories back didn't make her _come back_ and she stayed a mix between two different people, neither his wife nor his teammate just a jumbled confused mess?

He almost preferred this version. She was happy. She was healthy. She laughed easily and smiled freely. There was no burden on her brow. No sadness in her eyes. She was lighthearted and outspoken and more energetic then she's been in years. Wouldn't this be a favor to her if they just kept the past in the past?

There was a pinch of selfishness in that last thought. If the past stayed buried, he would never have to face her. Never have to kneel down before her and beg forgiveness for allowing such lewdness to happen to her. And though he would never be able to forget it, he could file it away for dark days.

Neji went to his room and took a shower. He thought perhaps it would help erase his deteriorating mood. He did not want to drink anymore. Despite it dulling the senses it gave him terrible nightmares if he didn't drink enough to black out and to black out took a ton of sake. Leo would notice and would no doubt comment. He did not want to hear his head servant advise him about the effects of alcohol.

He pulled on silk pants and went back to the laundry to dig out a picture and the pair of rings from his pockets then he crawled into bed and took a deep breath. But it only depressed him. TenTen's scent had faded. He searched pathetic, throwing away each pillow after he brought it to his face until they all were tossed to the floor.

The first week after the accident, he had yelled at the servants not to wash his sheets again. But now her smell was completely and utterly gone. He sat up, searching. All her clothes were taken away. Every item she had ever brought gone. Neji climbed off the bed, still holding the two items, and walked to the large reading chair in the corner. He sat in it and instantly her scent filled his nostrils. A smile came to his lips as he rested his head back, closing his eyes. He brought his legs up, squeezing in. It perhaps wasn't the comfiest way to sleep but he's slept through worse. At least here, it felt like she was still with him. The memories however this chair brought. TenTen called it their 'Sex chair', despite the fact he used it for reading.

Though, it was particular good for sex.

Neji clenched the rings in one hand while the other held out the picture. It was their tenth anniversary photo. There were two version of this picture. One, they had put in the front foyer(which had been taken down and put into storage) and it showed two people standing side by side dressed in the finest clothes, with an inch of space between them and no smile. This was the traditional Hyuga wedding photo. A whole lot of laughter from TenTen had taken place until she managed a perfectly morose face.

But in this one, this secret photo that they kept in their bedroom drawer was different. They faced each other, held each other, and were leaning in to share a moment of intimacy right before the picture was taken. Her eyes on him and his on hers. His hand touching the expanse of her neck and her hands clenching his kimino, the way she always did.

This was proof, his only proof. Yes, there was misery in their lives, and horrible things had taken place that he couldn't undo. But there was still love. She couldn't fake that. All the lies, all the fake moments, she couldn't fake this. And no matter how many differences he sees in her, the amount of happiness she seems to have now in her land of ignorance, she was in love with him still. He needed to find that again. Neji set the photo face down on the dresser and set the rings on top of it. He used this as the anchor he required to find sleep.

* * *

He was actually sleeping so when a knock sounded on his door, Neji was completely taken off guard. He snapped his head up, his feet falling to the floor instinctively, "Yes?" He replied, blinking, looking to the clock. It was near three in the morning. Did Souji have a nightmare? He shifted uneasy, pushing any tiredness from his face as the door slid opened.

"Neji?" TenTen's voice sounded in the darkness and her figure stepped in. She softly shut it behind her but her gaze was on the piece of artwork hanging above his bed. He hadn't thought about the metal kunai frame. He should have gotten rid of it. Would she recognize it? Would it trigger a memory?

"What is it?" He asked gaining her swift attention. He noted her state of dress, shorts and a cut off t-shirt exposing her belly. It was her old traditional night attire. Two kids and twelve years later and she still manages to pass for an eighteen year old. He'd be a eunuch not to have any attraction for her.

"What are you doing awake?"

"You came to me." Neji rested his head against his finger.

"I had dream." She stepped closer. "Well, maybe a dream. Or a memory. I don't know anymore."

"What about?"

"You."

Neji feigned uninterest. "Anymore details?"

An embarrassed smile fastened across her face and her long hair fell in front of her as she bowed her head. She approached and Neji straightened drastically when she boldly straddled his lap, "Yes actually." She whispered, and her shaking hands tentatively rested on his chest. She was so clearly nervous but she pushed forward, her fingers tracing up and down his skin. "We were at a inn. And a fire was going. It was hot in the room. So crazy hot." She leaned in, nuzzling the side of his cheek with her own, so her lips and breath where right by his ear. "And you were there and I was there. And we were naked on the bed."

Neji's hands went to her waist, instinctively but he pulled them back and gripped the armrests, staring at the ceiling.

TenTen turned around in his lap, sitting against him, pressing her ass into his growing arousal and resting her back against his chest as her head rested on his shoulder. She grabbed his hand, resting it on her chest, just above her breasts to feel the way her chest heaved in her excitement, "And you were behind me," She swallowed, slipping his hand down over her breasts, briefly feeling a hard nipple, down her flat stomach. "And you knew everything. How I wanted to be touched." She pushed his hand furthered down, dipping across her naked thigh, teasing the flesh, so close the center of her and yet not close enough, "How hard." She rocked her hips and moaned. Neji's breath hitched and his other hand grasped her hip to keep her from doing it again. "And I knew what you wanted." Her hand fell beneath her, to attempt a reach for his privates but Neji grabbed her hand before she could. TenTen turned her face toward him, a smirk on her lips, "It was real. This feels too familiar."

He glanced down her parted, wet lips desiring to kiss her, to continue what she started. The lust in her eyes so apparent it caused an ache in his chest. But she still didn't remember him. And that hurt more than he wanted it too.

"It was real." He admitted. "But it was years ago." He shifted and with his help, she stood, bewildered and once again embarrassed at his dismissal. He hung his head, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat there, ignoring her hurt gaze.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"When you remember everything, we can have this discussion again."

"What else do I need to know?"

"Plenty." He wanted to leave but as he was currently harboring an erection and wearing pants that were more revealing than he intended, he couldn't just stand up without her noticing.

"It's still because of her, isn't it? Souji's mother. Did you love her?"

Neji rubbed his eyes. TenTen wasn't a jealous woman. It only revealed that she was still mentally young and unreachable.

"Wait. How long ago? Was it when you guys were still together when Souji was born? Was I your mistress or something? Oh, god, was I?" She ran a hand through her hair and paced suddenly in front of him. He hung his head, over-dramatic: another sign of a young teenager in his midst. "Great, I'm a slut, I can't remember my first time but I'm a freaking slut."

Neji hid a smirk. He'd find someway to reveal that to Kiba. It would be a good slap in the face one day.

"Are you laughing? Is this funny?"

He rose his head, glancing up with annoyance, "No, I did not have you as my mistress."

"Oh." She calmed instantly and then her eyes dropped to the dresser. She noticed the two rings on top of a upside down picture and her muscles tensed. What would she make of it? How would he explain? TenTen stared at it a long time. Her fingers twitched in a desire to turn the photo over but they remained on her side.

TenTen turned on her foot, darting for the door. "I'm going back to bed. Can we pretend tonight never happened?"

He nodded but she slapped the door shut and was gone. Neji fell back against the chair, mentally exhausted.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay guys, prepare for an emotional roller coaster for the next two chapters. I'll have the next chapter out in a couple days because it was one whole chapter but I split it up into two because it was too long. Can't wait for your feedback!

\- chapter

TenTen was gone in the morning leaving a note she had gone to train with Lee. He was discontented about this. Lee was never her training partner. He was and for her to go with him told him she had not let last night go as easily as he had. It was perhaps feasible for him to move on because he hadn't been the one to humiliate himself but she should not feel such a way. She was reacting to a memory. He was relieved she was desiring him as much as she used too.

The problem however was that she was remembering out of the timeline. This was a danger. If she remembered an unhappy memory without all the proper facts, it could lead her to backtracking, her mind retreating, and perhaps reverting back into a coma. He didn't know how to control it though. The mind was doing whatever it wanted. He needed to slow her down but she was desperate for answers.

He blamed Sakura for this. If they had begun earlier to help her begin to remember she would not be in such a hurry and they would have more control over the situation.

Souji came jumping into the living room, searching for TenTen but when he told her she was already gone, he depressed and laid pathetically on the floor.

It was the weekend and there was no school today. Souji's dramatic display led to the inevitable question, "Do you want to join her?"

Souji jumped up eagerly. "Can we?"

"You will have to train."

He paused for a moment, thinking of the pros and cons. "Let's do it!"

"Get dressed."

He zoomed out of the room.

Neji decided he would have to break the distance. She was embarrassed about last night so he would show her how maturity worked. He wondered why after all these memories, she continued to see herself as an eighteen year old. What did it take for her to become an adult?

The two of them set off for the training grounds. Souji took the lead, knowing now where their old meeting place was, skipping ahead only to run back and wait patiently for Neji to join him.

Lee, TenTen, and Metal were on the hill and Metal screamed Souji's name and raced down to meet them. The younger boy was jumping in excitement and instantly Souji seemed to take an older position, raising his head, and swallowing all his energy to hold himself with dignity.

Neji joined Lee and TenTen as the boys talked to the side.

"Neji," Lee greeted, "TenTen's fighting technique seems to be returning. We were talking about her Jounin Exams."

He glanced to her but she was looking off with red cheeks, toeing the ground. "I wouldn't know. She has not offered to train." Her Jounin exams were at twenty two. They were courting at the time. Would she remember that fact as well?

TenTen snapped her eyes, "You said you stopped."

Lee knit his brows, "You stopped? Why? When?" He crossed his arms, "Now that I think about, I haven't seen you train in a while. I guess we've been focused on other things. You should not slack..." Lee went on, a monologue of sorts that spoke about their health and old age and other odd ends that Neji did not listen too.

He was paying attention to TenTen.

She was listening to Souji and Metal. They were bickering. Souji had a action figure in his hand (one his mother must have bought him at some point because Neji would never agree to such a thing) and Metal wanted to see it. But Souji was saying no and pulling it out of his grasp, holding it above his head. Souji was only a few inches taller and so Metal was jumping to reach it. The boy fell backward.

TenTen's brows knit. She looked down at herself.

Neji's shoulders stiffened and he shifted towards her wondering what she was remembering.

Her hands were shaking as they lifted to her flat stomach. She touched the clothe, resting a flat palm against it. Her chest began to heave. Her eyes moving all over the ground and she took a step backward.

"TenTen." He murmured, stepping toward her.

She swung her head around, staring at Souji.

Did she remember him? Had it finally clicked? That she had been pregnant and he was her son?

Lee spoke, questioning but he could barely hear him, watching every emotion on her face.

Pain dipped her brows, horror, tears dripped unnoticed down her cheeks.

No, Neji realized, she was remembering all wrong. "Lee, take the boys."

TenTen took a step toward Souji and he took a step towards her. A sob escaped her throat and she took another.

"Lee now!"

Neji snatched her arm but she wiped a kunai out and slashed his wrist, running now after Souji. Lee jumped over and grabbed the boys just as she swung her kunai where Souji was. "He killed my son!" She screamed turning where Lee landed with them.

Neji darted between them, blood dripped down his fingers. He met TenTen's tear stained face. "You don't understand."

"I see it." She whispered, holding out the blade, "He pushed him. He pushed Hisaya."

"It was an accident."

TenTen's face screwed up in hate, "Your son." She spat. "He's a murderer."

"Lee, get him out of here!"

Lee grabbed them and ran down the hill.

She darted forward but Neji shifted directing her attention back to him. "Neji." SHe whimpered. Her legs collapsed beneath her. Her whole body quaking as she crumbled. "I. I can't breath." He approached, kneeling down in front of her. "I know."

She shook her head. "You can't. You can't." Tears poured into the grass as she dropped against the ground, "Oh god." She sobbed. She covered her face with her hands, her knife falling forgotten beside her. Neji knew how to comfort his wife but he was unsure what this TenTen would be okay with. He had seen this grief too many times.

Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her head.

She smacked it, sitting up, glaring her red face. She began to back away, using her hate to make her stronger, "That's it, isn't it? Why you keep pulling away? Your son killed mine. You just didn't have the guts to tell me."

He grit his teeth, "You are still ignorant. You only see what you want? Am I not there in that memory? Am I not grieving with you?"

Her brows knit as her eyes drifted, trying to remember.

He was tired of waiting. Of being alone. Of being angry for all her lies and being unable to confront her. But most of all he was angry at himself for Hisaya and for her. He needed her to remember. He needed her forgiveness. It was poison inside of him and if wasn't cured, he'd sink beneath the very ground at his feet.

"Hisaya hit his head, weather he was pushed or he fell, it doesn't matter. It knocked him unconscious for a minute and then he woke crying. We took him to Sakura and she looked him over. She said he was fine. We brought him home. He was talking and laughing. But as night approached, he slowed. He tired. He didn't eat. And perhaps that should have been a sign but we were stupid and foolish. We put him to bed and in the morning, he did not wake." TenTen covered her face, as more sobs began to shake her. Memories filtering in, becoming clearer. "We took him to the hospital but it was too late. The swelling to his brain had caused too much damage. Within an hour, all brain activity ceased. Ventilators kept him alive. I held him as you shut the machines off. We stayed for hours even as his body went cold." Neji rubbed a tear off his face, straightening his back coldly as he watched her.

TenTen shook her head against the ground.

He needed it to be clear so there were no questions or doubts. "Hisaya was our son. Souji is our son. And you just called him a murderer."

TenTen placed her hands over her ears, her body quaking. He sat still, guilt building every second she didn't look up and acknowledge him. He had foolishly hoped that was it. She'd have all the answers and life would return to normal but it was just words. She didn't remember.

Sakura was running but she began to slow as she approached, glancing at him to make sure it was safe. He nodded to her as she kneeled down beside TenTen. Her hand resting on the woman's back, "TenTen, I'm going to give you sedative, okay? You need to rest."

She nodded without lifting her head and Sakura dipped a needle into her arm.

TenTen looked up at Sakura suddenly, "Is it true, Sakura? Did we kill Hisaya?"

Her brows knit and Sakura hugged her as Tenten began to weaken, "It was an accident, Tenten. A horrible accident." Her eyes began to close even as tears continued to slip down. She held her close, her own tears building. "I'm sorry." Sakura whispered against her. "I'm sorry." TenTen thankfully fell asleep, the pain on her face finally diminishing.

Neji kept on his knees. "Do not apologize, Sakura-san."

Lee cautiously came up the hill.

Neji stared ahead, and asked about Souji. "How is he?"

There was no response telling Neji all he needed. Lee answered a different, unsaid question, "I brought them to Naruto's." He kneeled down beside TenTen offering his arms and she nodded slowly maneuvering the weapon's mistress against him and lifted her up.

"I want her at the hospital. Just in case."

Neji nodded in agreement and the two of them began to walk. When they noticed he didn't move they shifted toward him in question. "In a minute." He answered and they nodded softly, giving him the privacy he needed. He waited until the were a good distance away.

His bloodied fist pounded into the dirt and his forehead landed in the grass. His chest heaved, agony clenching his heart. He hadn't relieved Hisaya's death since it happened and now it felt like it was bombarding him, coming from every direction. All the mistakes, all the stupid moments that had led up to it. How he had turned his back right at the moment Hisaya fell, unable to witness the fall, to stop it, to be there to save him. Why they hadn't paid more attention to signs of a concussion. They had trusted in Sakura's judgement so much that they ignored the clues that could have saved him. How they had held his cold body even hours after his heart had stopped beating, his stiff, lifeless body lying in his arms, so tiny, so doll like. All the memories came crashing in upon him like boulders and he could do nothing but let gravity shove him to the ground and he rolled on his back.

He stared up at the sky, panting, aching, craving to hold Hisaya again and knowing the impossible could never be and wondering how he could ever stand again.

Just then a large bird came into view. On it's trail was a baby and it turned to help the smaller creature, flapping and chirping, encouraging almost demanding as the baby flapped harder and faster, matching the older bird with stubborness. Neji followed them as they continued to the trees. To the tree that had their initials marked in its bark.

* * *

By the time he regained his composure, it was well after dark. Souji was asleep when Neji got to Naruto's. His face was covered in dry tears and after talking to Hinata and Naruto for a short minute, it was difficult to hear how his boy had cried himself to sleep. He rubbed Souji on the back and whispered into his ear telling him he was taking him home. His son wrapped his arms around his neck and Neji lifted him up, his legs squeezing his hips. Neji rubbed his back as they walked home in an effort to get him back to sleep. He hadn't hugged his son in a long time, he realized. He hadn't noticed how much the boy had grown. He was getting heavier. Muscles were beginning to take shape. Only a few more months before he turned eight. He had already been through too much as it was and he was still so young.

Neji laid him down in bed, pulling the blanket over him, sitting beside him as he snuggled into his pillow. He pushed his brown long hair out of his face, touching his cheek. He prayed over his boy for a moment, hoping for peace, to end his seemingly everlasting tears.

Neji went to his room and didn't bother to undress. He laid in bed, too exhausted to sleep. He shifted and pulled out the picture, setting it beside him and reached into his pocket for the rings, resting them on the mattress. With his hands resting upon the items, he closed his eyes.

He didn't wake again until the soft timid knock on his door and the twittering of the birds told him it was morning.

"Come in." He murmured, shoving the objects under the pillow as he rolled on top of them, laying on his back as Souji entered his room. He motioned for him to come closer and the young boy hopped up on the bed and crawled against him before laying down with his head tucked into his side. Neji knew he needed to say something about yesterday but he didn't know what to say. And the things he knew he did need to say weren't sounding right. He didn't know how to say it the way a seven year old required it.

Souji was the one to break it however, "Dad?"

"Hn?"

"I don't want to see mom anymore."

Neji's brows knit in sorrow.

"At least until she's better. Is that okay?"

Neji rested a hand on his head. "Yes."

"Can I stay with Uncle Lee?"

"That's fine."

Souji rolled off the bed and headed out the door.

"Souji?"

He turned around, his lavender eyes large and innocent.

Now would be a time to say something profound, to tell him he was loved, and that neither TenTen or himself thought he had pushed Hisaya on purpose. Yet Neji found himself saying something else, something easy. "It won't be long."

Souji nodded and walked out.

Neji sat up and rested his head in his hands. He was failing as a parent just as a failed as a spouse. He was never cut out for either. Both TenTen and him had known they were not meant for this kind of lifestyle. Every time they had come home drunk in the middle of the night and Souji and Hisaya were woken by their obnoxious foolishness, they knew they were screwing up. Having a kid hadn't been their idea to begin with. They were being pressured from not only their friends, but from family. The Hyuuga clan expected a heir. Then on top of it, TenTen had gotten pregnant unexpectedly, her birth control method failing them. They had been out on a month long mission when she started over sleeping, acting strangely, and throwing up at random. He had cut their mission short to take her to the hospital and was waiting impatiently out in the hall when she approached with an unsure smile on her face. And despite it being not particularly a desired prospect, it was one of the greatest moments he could remember.

But having kids didn't automatically make them good at parenting. They continued to do missions, continued to be self-involved, and selfish. TenTen did not take to being a mother as naturally as Hinata and Sakura had. She did not want to breastfeed or take the six month maternity leave the Hokage offered. A week after giving birth she was out training again, handing the baby over to a wet nurse. And since Souji cried everytime Neji came near him, he did not bond quickly with him either.

They had tried for HIsaya. They were aiming for a girl but weren't too upset when it turned out be a boy. He couldn't remember why they wanted another one since they were doing badly with the first. It was a hope perhaps that out of two children, one of them was bound to turn out well adjusted and balanced despite their terrible parenting skills.

Neji got dressed and met Souji in the parlor. He had his bag packed and was sitting, stuffing breakfast pastries into his backpack. He attempted to hide it as he heard his father's footsteps approach but he obviously failed. "Lee isn't as good a cook as Leo." Neji turned to Leo who stood in the doorway with a tray of tea, bowing in gratitude. "He eats all these healthy things. Green stuff." Souji stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Neji motioned he won't be having his tea and then instructed Souji out the door. They walked toward Lee's. "You going to go see her?"

"Yes."

"Tell her I'm okay. I don't want her to worry about me."

Neji looked down at him. With all the neglect he faced growing up, it was hard to understand how he was becoming such a caring young man. Neji straightened, nodding his head.

Lee and Metal were in the middle of breakfast when they entered the screen door and Souji instantly sat down and dived in to the food he considered gross, seemingly content with anything to fill his insatiable stomach. He motioned for Lee to come outside and together they stepped a bit from the house to talk. He asked if Souji could stay and just as he knew, it was no problem. Then he told Lee he had finally told TenTen they had kids together. His big bushy brows rose almost off his forehead.

"Wow."

Neji crossed his arms, staring toward the hospital. He wondered what would face him today.

Lee leaned against his white picket fence. "What do you think set her off? How'd she remember HIsaya?"

Neji's eyes lowered to the ground. He could only think of the argument between Metal and Souji. Right before Hisaya fell, the two brothers were bickering. Neji had come from inside to see what it was about, standing on the veranda. They were playing on the bottom of the steps and Souji was building a tower with blocks. Hisaya wanted to help but he was only two and he was clumsy. He kept knocking it over. It upset Souji and he gave an aggravated growl. Neji had turned away uninterested and in that moment, Hisaya had fallen backward and hit his head against the bottom stair. It didn't matter if he fell by accident or Souji pushed him. No one would have thought such a thing would have killed him.

Neji shook his head, changing the subject. "I don't know what I will find in the hospital. I will send a message daily for Souji until this is over."

"Neji, wait." Lee touched his arm before he could go. "A report came from the Hokage. They managed to finish the mission we failed. If you want I can get it for you."

He nodded, "Send it to me."

"You know...Yesterday wasn't just hard for Souji. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Take care of my son." He continued on, feeling the weight of his friend's eyes as he moved on down the road. The only way to get through this was to keep moving. If he ever stopped to think about the tragedy around him he'd do what he did all day yesterday, stare at the sky, wasting away.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: Here's the update, guys!

Chapter

He wanted to talk to Sakura first and he found her currently busy with another patient and so he waited outside the door until she was done. The moment she excited however, her eyes darkened at the sight of him and she turned the opposite way.

Neji followed, aggravated, "I do not appreciate being ignored."

She spun around, "Me either. Do you think I just make up ideas because their fun for me? I want to torture you or something? No. Years of education, of practice, of superiors adding their own knowledge, help me to make the best theories for my patients and I trust in myself enough that you cannot and will not make me question myself. I don't _appreciate_ you trying to ruin what I'm doing. We didn't talk about a timeline. I asked if you had any ideas and you said nothing."

"Out of all of them, Sakura, I expect you to understand me."

She paused, blinking.

"You are alone years at a time. Are there no moments when you are desperate and foolish? I apologize. I was wrong but all my mistakes have a very basic reason to it. I want my wife back. I am blind to logic. I am ignorant to sound judgement. And until Tenten looks at me as her husband, I will not be patient." He stepped around her and moved down the hall.

When he arrived at TenTen's door, all his rushed energy gave out and he now stood, incapable of venturing further. Everyday was becoming more difficult than the next. He was losing himself to the mental strain this was having on him, on Souji, and most of all on TenTen. He was a trained fighter and therefore, the logical way to go about this was to break it down, find a weakness, and beat it. But there was no way to fight TenTen's mental barriers. It was her that needed to do everything. He could only sit back and ride out the waves of this overwhelming irrationality.

Neji knocked once before sliding the door back and stepped inside. TenTen was not in bed and for a split second he panicked but then he found her by the window, sitting on the sill. She had her legs curled up into her chest, with her arms wrapped around her shins. Her head rested back against the wall as she stared outside, looking up at passing clouds.

He did not want to interrupt her thoughts and so he took a stiff seat on the edge of her bed and waited. He noted there were no tears. Her hair was pinned in a messy bun on the back of her head. She almost looked...normal. Had she remembered anymore? By remembering Hisaya, had she recalled their marriage?

He knew it was not personal, the things she could recollect. It was random at best, some triggered by certain actions, smells, or items. But it was becoming clear some things were easier to penetrate then others and there had to be reason for that, didn't there?

TenTen shifted her head and looked at him. She was tired, or perhaps just weak. She gave a small embarrassed smile. Her face flushing and her eyes darted to the ground. "Morning."

From that action alone, he knew she was still her teenage verison. And it frustrated him. He folded his arms, nodding his head in greeting but chose not to speak lest the feeling of his upset showed through.

She put her feet on the floor, facing him. "Rough day, yesterday." She bowed her head, pieces of stray hair falling in front of her face. "How's Souji?"

Part of him wanted to tell her what Souji wanted. But as Neji had already said, he was no longer patient. "He is suffering."

Her head popped up, brows knitting.

Neji continued. "He does not want to see you and has moved out."

"Moved out?"

"He is staying with Lee."

Tenten shook her head, "No. I should leave." Her hand rested against her forehead stressfully. It was the first time that she seemed bothered by something. The stress of his wife's real life was becoming a reality to her. He felt sad for her. He wished there were only happy moments for her to remember.

"It's a weird feeling, knowing I gave birth and yet I can't feel it. It's like watching a movie." Her hand slips over her stomach. "I can see my belly but I can't remember what it felt like to have a baby inside me." She sniffs, shoving a tear away. "It was so real. The intensity of my anger. I would have hurt him, if you hadn't stopped me. What kind of mother am I?" Her wet eyes sought him quickly, "I blame him."

They've never talked about Hisaya. It was something they brushed under the rug and pretended never happened. And though now, he was ready too, she was not. He couldn't talk to her about it. He wanted more than anything to speak to his wife. He'd talk about everything if she would just appear.

She sobered suddenly rubbing the water away from her face, "I'm sorry." She took a deep breath, forcing a smile, shoving it down. Just like his wife did with everything that upset her. With ease, her sadness disappeared. He hated her for it. Her defenses were the reason they were falling apart. It wasn't technically her fault, not this young girl's fault. His wife was to blame for their many unsaid conversations. And perhaps he was too, for allowing her to grieve on her own. How many times did he listen at the door as she cried? The pull to comfort her nearly intoxicating but he never went in.

"This is...strange." She chuckles softly, "I never would have thought you and I would…happen. Let alone have kids. Two of them!" She chuckled, sitting on the bed with a space between them. "How come you didn't tell me? All this time I'm thinking you had a one night stand with some geisha you met at a clan function. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I kept thinking I knew you better than that. You wouldn't do that."

He was quiet, allowing her whatever thoughts she had. He felt her eyes on him and he turned his head to meet hers. She was smiling.

"I guess I do know you."

He bowed his head, turning away from her. His wife knew him. This half woman knew a shadow.

"Are we...um... together?"

How should he answer this? It was a big event and all this time, he wanted her to remember him but he wanted her to remember on her own. He was beginning to suspect she was picking which memories to relive. It was obviously irrational to think like that but why wasn't she having any memories of him?

Tenten blew out air. "You're taking an awful long time to answer. Not a good sign."

"I don't want to stress you."

"I'm rested, believe me. I can handle a yes or no answer."

"It's more complicated than that."

Her brows knit in confusion and she stayed silent for a moment. "Do we…" She took a deep breath, "Do we love each other?"

Neji looked at her. Her brown eyes eager for a response.

Before all this, he would have never questioned. He had no doubt. But now, after learning about her deceit and his inability to protect her, he had no idea what she felt anymore. What she would feel when she had her memories back. He had no right to speak for her. "I used to think so."

That made her sad, "You're not sure anymore? Is it because of what happened?"

He swallowed, darting his eyes elsewhere. "I said it's complicated. Let's leave it at that."

"I can't! Neji, I've been in love with you since I was fifteen. No matter what happened, it wouldn't alter my feelings, I know it wouldn't. Did your feelings change?"

This was too much conversation. His wife wasn't this talkative, specifically about feelings and emotions. She ran away from things like this. He wanted to run away now. But not talking is what got them into this mess where she lies about anti-depressants and a hysterectomy.

"When you are better, we can have this discussion. If you still want it. Otherwise, let's move on."

"Don't dismiss me."

Aggravation built up and he replied rudely back. "I'm not dismissing you. I'm trying to express to you that this conversation is not suited for you."

"For me? What do you mean?"

Neji got to his feet, moving swiftly for the exit.

"Don't run away. The Neji I know doesn't runaway-"

"I am not that man you knew. Nor are you the woman I married."

He bowed his head.

"Married?"

Neji turned back to her. The shock clearly on her face. She reached for the bed and sat back down, staring sightlessly ahead. Glancing at the door, he thought better of it and returned to her side, standing in front of her, waiting for a response. When she still couldn't speak, he barreled ahead. "I'm asking you to drop this discussion. You are not ready for it."

"We're married?" She murmured. "For how long?"

"TenTen-"

"Stop with the crap already. For long long?"

He clenched his teeth. She sounded a bit like herself there. He could lie but that might prove unwise. "Ten years, this March."

"Wha...Ten years? And you've just kept this from me?"

"It's was Sakura's desire to do so. Your mental stability required some...reconfiguration."

"I not a freaking newborn. I could have handled it. Now my son hates and you don't even know if you love me."

"I said it was complicated."

"You either love me or you don't. It's not that complicated."

"I wasn't speaking for myself."

This paused her and her brows knit, directing her gaze elsewhere.

Neji sighed, tired now from this circus of conversation. It didn't matter what he said. She couldn't understand.

"Are we splitting up?"

"This is not a discussion I will have with you."

"Why not? I deserve to know-"

"You are an eighteen year old girl. I will talk to my wife, not a teenager who cannot comprehend or imagine the life we lived."

"Is this because of Hisaya?"

"Do not…" He couldn't believe her audacity. She barely remembers one thing about their son let alone grasp the grief of losing him. But to make believe that their falling out of love because it, well, she may perhaps be right. But he won't discuss it further. "I've had enough." He steps to the door.

"Well, no wonder our marriage isn't working. You can't talk about anything."

"Once again," He snaps open the door, "it is not me." He slapped it shut and just stood there, to breathe, to think, to mentally go back and unsay all that he's revealed.

He slipped, or maybe he didn't. Maybe he wanted her to know that she was his wife, hoping that by exposing it, she'd remember and everything would get fixed. Life could go back to normal, as normal as it was ever going to be. Instead, she wants answers to questions he can't give her. It's not her fault to question. Her life was stolen from her. She sought answers by instinct.

He was too cruel. Unsympathetic perhaps because of what he felt. He was angry but he was angry at the wrong person.

Neji turned around and faced the door. All he wanted to do since she woke up, was talk to her about their problems and now that she's trying to figure it all out, he ran. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve it and for this reason, he lifted his hand to knock.

The door slid back. TenTen stepped forward but upon noticing him, her eyes widened. She stepped back, bowing her head with red cheeks. "I was going after you. I didn't like how we left it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say all that."

"It is my fault. I should have been more considerate."

Her brows knit, a soft smile on her lips as she looks up at him, "Apologizing? You? No way."

"Few and far between."

She giggles and it's delightful sound, a familiar sound. All her little sweet laughs under the covers.

"So." She took a breath sighing out. "I'm still lost. With chaotic memories. I'm hurting Souji. I"m hurting you. What should I do? Tell me what to do."

Neji stared at the floor. She didn't understand how painful such simple words could be. Those words, haunting him, as he recalled the day this all began. She stood on the other side of the bars, fear creeping up in her as she faced her potential rapist. He had told her to fight then. But her fight had done nothing. It hadn't stopped them. It hadn't made it any easier.

"I don't know."

"You have to know. Because I don't know. All I have are fragments. And people telling me things that happened and I don't know what to trust or what to think." She stood in front of him, "But I trust you. That's not changed. I'll do whatever you say."

"Sakura will help you. I can't." He turned to leave.

She grabbed his hand, "No. I never let you give up. Not once. I'm not letting you give up, not on me, not now. I can do this. But I need you. You know everything about me. And I know everything about you and in it's here but you have to help me. I don't know what happened before the accident. I don't know what would make you question have I feel. But right now, right here, I still love you."

He squeezed his eyes shut. It was too much. Too much she didn't know. How torturous she can be with her ignorance. He shook his head, "I don't know how to help you."

"We'll talk to Sakura. We'll figure it out. But stay with me. I'm stronger when you're around. I always have been." She embraced him, unconfidently at first. Her arms stiff and unsure but soon her arms tightened and she rested her head comfortably in the crook of his neck.

He sighed, resting his cheek against the side of her head. A hand rested on her hip, unwilling to give in completely. She was still foriegn, a stranger living in his wife's body. But it was getting harder and harder to keep them separate. He missed his wife and she was starting to sound so familiar. Her strength. Her spirit. They were slowly merging. His stone hard walls keeping her at bay were crumbling. He's letting her in, like he always had before.

"We'll talk to Sakura." He agreed, blankly staring off.


	13. Chapter 13

Authors note: A little bit of sunshine in this chapter :)

Clato, I checked out parajay, she is really good. I've never been on tumblr, it was a cool find. Thanks

\- Chapter

They were training on the Hyuuga grounds. There was a crowd around them, watching in awe as the two kept their distance. TenTen had two scrolls in her hand. She was concentrating, her brows furrowed and her lips set in a firm terse line as her eyes darted in different directions trying to conjure up a way to get around his defenses. Random scrolls laid used and forgotten. There were two large round circles where Neji had found himself in a unhappy predicament and he had used his kaiten. In these training grounds, they needed to be maintained and using such a high level of defense caused unnecessary damage but she had left him no choice with her barrage of weapons. If her memory was back, she would have berated him. She did not like making the servants do extra work.

A week had gone by without much improvement. Sakura had been adamant about slowing down what she remembers and that required no triggers. So the days had been, in one word, boring. She had been restricted to the compound and Sakura had come herself to make sure there were no reminders to her past life. And Neji had been given an embarrassing speech about keeping his hands to himself which she had then pulled TenTen into a private room to have a more descriptive, mortifying monologue about 'premarital' sex. Neji had listened at the door for a brief pause until he heard virginity and then decided he had something to do. He left smirking however. The fact that TenTen still didn't remember Kiba and losing her virginity to him made his vanity grow.

Neji shifted his foot, sensing a trick. She had remained still for too long. There was something amiss. ANd then up through the ground she busted forth, behind him, grabbing his foot. A barrage of needles shot toward the sky and he twisted to move from their path but she kept a hold of him, stopping any defense.

Chakra pushed from every pore of his body and the needles sprayed in crazy directions, people dived out of the way, others running to protect children and elders as they stood unknowingly in its path. Injuries were numerous.

He shoved his palm into the ground, breaking the stone but she was already gone. He looked behind him and found her in the air, her scrolls unfolding.

"Stop." He called, setting his feet together and folding his arms.

She fell to the ground with a narrowed brow.

"That's all for today." He turned to approach the injured party.

"What? We've only been training for a couple of hours. I can go longer than this. I have a crazy amount of chakra."

He did not reply, kneeling down to help tend to wounds. He heard her scoff and begin snatching her stuff off the ground but he paid no attention to her tantrum, even as she stomped her way back to the house. He was wondering when her training would begin to mix with her memories. The action she had done with the needles had been a trick she had perfected four years ago.

With Sakura's new set of rules, TenTen's recollection was manageable. Instead of memories assaulting her continuously, tidbits were revealed where she could grasp them and have time for them to mature and become an entire moment instead of fragments. None of them were however significant. She recalled silly memories or inconsequential nights drinking. Nothing that really aided her to become who she would eventually be. But Sakura reassured them (since apparently they both needed constant reassurance that this was working) that every piece of sand is needed to build a sandcastle and so were all the inconsequential moments needed to rebuild TenTen.

Though he didn't have to, he helped clean the training grounds as well. It was therapeutic in a sense that he could postpone any confrontation with TenTen for another hour. And afterwards, he took a walk around the compound, watching the sunset from the river's bridge. He thought of Souji and the week apart. Lee gave him daily updates assuring him that Souji was flourishing now without the misery shrouding him. He was doing better in school and there hadn't been any fighting since. It hurt to know that in order for him to thrive, he needed to be away from his parents. Neji would do better. There was no excuse anymore. He would be a better father and if time allowed, he'd be a better husband too.

Deciding that she should be calm enough by now, Neji arrived at home, removing his sandals at the front entrance before pushing the door open. Sitting in the front parlor drinking tea, TenTen sat, in a fresh white kimono having just finished bathing. The tips of her hair were wet and her cheeks were red from the heat. He stared at her from the entrance. She looked so much like she used too, he felt an ache form in his gut.

Since he told her that they were husband and wife, TenTen was more confident in her flirtation. She'd sit beside him, leaning against him, and no matter how hard he resisted, he was giving in.

She set her tea cup down, keeping her eyes lowered, "Since when do you get to decide to end our training session, Neji-sama?"

Blindly, he approached, lifting her up by the arm, grabbing her chin in his hand and meeting her wide frightened eyes with desperation. Her nickname for him when she was angry. Everything about her was the way she was before, from the hair, the outfit, to the tone of her voice and he thought for a brief moment she had remember everything.

But the fear in her eyes was present and a wave of sadness hit him. His rough hold loosened and he dropped his hand from her face as she stepped back. "I." He meant to apologize but the words were swallowed by a thick foam stuck in his throat. He bowed his head instead, noticing then he had knocked over her tea. He kneeled down and picked up her glass.

TenTen kneeled and rested a hand on his stopping his movement. "Tell me."

He shook his head.

Her hand touched his cheek and he leaned into it so quickly, craving the touch of his wife again more than he cared to breath. But it was not her.

Neji stood just as Leo walked into the room. "I will take my dinner in my room." He told him and bypassed him quickly, slamming the door shut and falling against it.

It was a sake kind of night.

When Leo returned to take his plate, he asked for a bottle. He could tell there was resistance but he bowed nonetheless. It did however take him over an hour to bring it, which he apologized for, making some comment about 'thieves' stealing their sake supplies. Neji ignored him, feeling the comment was made for him. He hadn't drank in a week or more. He did not need a lecture.

He shut the door to the gardens, locking himself in for the night and sat down in the chair. Her scent was fading from this now too and soon he would have nothing. It was getting harder and harder to sleep as his distress grew.

Neji was relieved TenTen was managing better. The days for her were happy and she could smile and laugh as she learned something new about herself. And during the day, Neji managed to support her as a teammate, as a friend, and answer any questions she may have about a new memory. They spoke about many things and it helped to relieve the loneliness. Sometimes, it was like having her here.

But that's where it ended.

It wasn't her. And that left a brick wall between them. He did not allow her in his bubble. He did not allow her to penetrate his barrier, even when she tried to get him to smile or laugh. Parts of him were for his wife only and she would not take that away.

But she was his wife wasn't she?

TenTen was becoming bolder, attempting to kiss him at odd moments. How to turn her away without hurting her feelings? It wasn't possible and she would leave with pain on her face.

Neji poured himself a cup and downed it instantly. The liquor brought a welcome taste to his mouth. This was not a personal favorite and he narrowed his eyes in suspicious. Another one of Leo's subtle yet not so subtle ways to tell him he was drinking too much. Maybe Leo didn't realize it but he could be replaced any day.

A knock on his door interrupted his next drink. He stared at it, knowing it was TenTen and unwilling to let her in. He remembered too well the last time she had come in during the middle of the night and had no intention of allowing anything more to happen. What would his wife say when she finally found herself again?

What would she say? He had no idea. This was completely unfamiliar territory. Would she be mad he took advantage of her in a weakened state or mad he hadn't? She was a difficult woman to figure out in some cases.

Neji swung back his drink, hoping she had gotten the hint and moved on.

The door slid open, "Neji?" TenTen whispered as she stepped inside.

"What?" He poured himself another cup and rested it on the dresser.

Her head snapped to him, "Why are you sitting in here, drinking in the dark?" She flipped on the light switch and he covered his eyes, grimacing.

"As it is my room, I can do what I please. Shut the light off." He tilted his head back and let the liquid roll back into his mouth.

Her footsteps pounded on the wood floor and she slapped the cup out of his hand. "Enough."

He snatched her wrist, "Do not act like her."

"But I am her."

His brows knit and he closed his eyes, shaking his head softly. He let go of her and rested his head back against the chair.

"Don't you love me anymore?"

"The fact that you have to ask proves you are not her."

"Stop saying that. I am her! I don't have memories but it doesn't make me someone else. Look at me and tell me you don't love me."

Neji opened his eyes. He was tired. Couldn't she see? "Go to bed."

"Years we've been friends, and this is the most distance I felt from you. Don't you think I need you? How can you ignore me now?"

"I am here."

"No, you're not! You're miles away."

He bowed his head. He couldn't deny that and so he said nothing.

"What happened to us?"

Too much, he almost whispered but chose to take a swig directly out of the bottle.

TenTen sat on her knees in front of him, watching, figuring it all out. She bowed her head, a few strands of hair shielding her face. "I thought knowing that you were my husband would make it easier. But I'm hurting you, aren't I? Whatever happened before is hurting you. I've never seen you so...defeated. Did I do this to you? Are we no good for each other?"

What could he say? He had been falsely content before this event. Her misery had been unknown and ignored. He hadn't only failed to protect her from those men, he failed to make her happy. How could he then allow them to continue, to form a relationship again? It would be cruel to his heart. He couldn't lie to her and he couldn't stand to be lied to any further either.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

A soft smile pressed on her lips. "Please."

Neji obeyed, sighing as he did so and dropping his head against the chair. The alcohol easing him further into a relaxed state.

Her hands pressed on his knees and he popped his eyes open. "Close them!" She giggled, leaning up.

"TenTen."

"Just trust me."

That was the problem, wasn't it? He had trusted her. He had believed her when she said she was fine. He had believed her as she brushed away her tears and smiled. He had trusted so blindly she managed to get a hysterectomy without him noticing.

Neji closed his eyes and relaxed once more. His brain too tired to think further.

TenTen maneuvered herself onto his lap and he remained stoic. He was stone against her. Her lips were by his ears and her scent assaulted him. He took a deep breath, imagining her back in his arms and what it felt like to be ignorant of her lies. "Stop thinking. Relax." As he exhaled, a wave receded and took every thought with it.

"Neji." She whispered his name and it was perfectly TenTen. The way she breathed, the way she smelled, the weight of her body against his own, it was all her. Neji could feel the tension drain from him as he recalled their last time on this chair. Months ago, she had used a feather to run along his skin, tickling him in places he wasn't ready for. He could remember her giggle as she watched him squirm. Her eyes wide in interest as she observed every reaction.

Her hands gripped his and placed them on her hips, "Feel me." She murmured against his skin. "Don't I feel the same?" His hands spread up her back and down again, running under her bottom and along her thighs. The silk of the kimono not as perfect as her skin but it was a fine substitute. It was her, in every aspect of the word. His wife in his arms again, seducing him just as she always tended to do. She loved it, having such power over him, dominating him. "Don't I sound the same?" Her lips touched his neck and his jaw. His heart rate increased drastically and his breath kicked up as the adrenaline rush reached him. Her hands pushed apart his kimono to get to his skin, her fingertips running across his bare shoulders and down his pectorals. "I bet I taste the same." Her lips brushed against his delicately, too soft, too teasingly. He pushed his lips against hers, meeting her tongue instantly and her hands slipped in his hair, clenching and pushing him closer. Their mouths opening and closing in a rhythm that only years of practice could perfect. His hand gripped the back of her neck as his other gripped her backside and all the passion that they had missed returned in a single moment. They separated and his lips attacked her neck, her throat. He pulled the kimono off her shoulder, sucking on her skin. Her back arched, aching for more and with his help, she pulled her arm through and then the other till her breasts were out into the light and he dipped his head, cupping both of them and pressing his face into them, licking each nipple and sucking on each as she moaned and groaned above, gripping his hair. She kissed the side of his face, and he obeyed the silent command to meet her lips once more.

They slowed at that point, breathing, panting into each other's lips and Neji opened his eyes for the first time and met her gaze. It was a gaze full of desire, of aching need, and a gaze he knew too well.

"See?" She whispered breathless, "I'm here, Neji. Come back to me."

He nuzzled her cheek, kissing her, whispering, "I never left."

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course, I do."

A smile stretched on her lips and she leaned her head back as his lips continued to touch her, brushing against her collarbone, the tops of her breasts as his hands gripped her behind. He wanted all of her, he needed all of her but it wasn't time yet. "TenTen." He murmured against her skin, resting his forehead between her breasts.

"Yeah?"

"You should go."

"Don't."

"You aren't ready for this. And neither am I." He sat back, and helped her arms back into the kimono, her eyes on him watching, confused, but trying to be understanding. He fixed the fabric to cover her and met her eyes, hoping she wasn't hurt by his declination.

She was saddened but she nodded anyway, "I understand. But I want to stay. Can I sleep in your bed?"

"It's our bed. You may do what you want."

"Will you sleep beside me?"

He nodded and helped her off his lap. She kept a hold of his hand, pulling him to his feet and together they laid in bed. TenTen snuggled against him, forcing his arm around her shoulder and he gripped her, holding her tight as her head rested upon his chest. He stared at the ceiling, unsure if this was appropriate but losing the battle to remain away. He was weak against her. He always was. His place was beside her. He knew that before he felt any love for her. It was instinct, natural. A connection that was created long before they even met. She could heal him with simple touches, smiles, laughter. And perhaps, if she chose too, he could heal her too.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Thank you Hank! The only person to review last chapter. I was waiting and waiting and waiting for a review and nothing for two weeks. But whatever. I'm a grown up. I can cry in private. Or hold chapters ransom until someone finally reviews!

=== Mature audiences :)

Chapter

Sleep. He had forgotten how relaxing it could be, how refreshing it could be to the nerves, how rehabilitating it was for the head. As the sun slowly rose, consciousness came with it but Neji refused to open his eyes. He was dreaming he knew, even as he was waking and opening his eyes would only destroy it so he stayed, unmoving to relish in this rare moment.

TenTen was in his arms. Her hair twisted over his hand, her head resting against his bicep, her legs twisting with his own. He could feel her breath against his chest.

But he was confused. Where had she gone, that he had missed this? Why was there a nagging feeling that this wasn't real?

He snapped his eyes open and shifted, pulling out and sitting up, resting his feet on the floor He did not care if he woke her. He rested his head in his hands, guilt setting in his stomach.

Tenten shifted, her hands resting on his shoulders and he stood, stepping away.

"Neji-"

"This is not a game."

"I know."

He faced her, "What are you trying to do?"

Her brows knit and she fixed her kimono over her shoulder, bowing her head, "I'm learning how to be your wife. Doesn't she touch you? Is that the problem?"

He scoffed but her sadness was prevalent. She really didn't understand and he didn't know how to explain it. His anger diminished and he sighed. "The problem," He began, "is you refer to her in the 3rd person. If you don't see yourself as her, how can I?"

TenTen pulled her legs into her chest, setting her chin on her knees. She stared forward, simply thinking for a bit, mulling over his words. He left her there, using the bathroom, brushing his teeth. She had laid back down, staring at the ceiling but he moved on to get dressed in his closet, pulling on a new kimono.

He hadn't been mean, had he? He didn't think so. It was true, wasn't it? Was she upset? He wasn't used to her 'thinking'. It's not that his wife doesn't think, it's just that she thinks loudly and openly, talking either to him or herself she doesn't usually have a preference. Her quiet disposition is a new characteristic that makes him uneasy.

To push her out of her stupor, he snatches a brush off the vanity and stands in front of the bed, holding out the brush.

Her brows knit, looking up at him.

"You want to act like my wife. Then I will teach you. In more appropriate ways."

"By brushing my hair?"

He turned around and stepped to the outside door, sliding it open to bring in the morning air before sitting on the meditation pad. He untied the black sash that encircled his cursed mark and rested it beside him then took the clip off the bottom of his long back hair and threw it over his shoulder, waiting patiently.

He heard her grumble something under her breath but she approached nonetheless behind him.

"Gentle." He mocked suppressing a smirk.

Her fingers dipped into his hair and he closed his eyes. The brush followed each movement of her hands. She brushed three times before she gave up, "Your hair is perfect, it's ridiculous. How do you not have a single knot?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"To brush your hair? I have never brushed my hair that long in my life." She restarted less than thrilled. She put more effort in it this time, determined to make it fifteen minutes so she divided and conquered starting from one side of his head, doing each section in slow, even strokes and making sure it shined just right before moving on to the next area. By the time she was done, she was proud of her work, only to realize only five minutes has past. She dropped her forehead against his back. "I can't, this is boring. Teach me something else."

"Sit in the chair."

"The sex chair?"

"Tsk. It's not-" Apparently, both versions of his wife were sex addicts. At least, now he knew she had always been like that. "It's a reading chair."

"Why do I want to sit there?"

He felt a muscle twitch. "To read."

"I don't want to read."

"Just sit."

She pounded her foot on the floor and plopped into the chair. Neji took a book from the drawl of the nightstand and handed it to her. She looked over it with a unsure eye. "The Art of War." A smile graced her features. "Okay." She leaned back, bringing her legs into her chest.

Neji dived into the closet only to resurface with an instrument that he laid next to the mediation mat and sat down with crossed legs, pulling it closer. TenTen's eyes were on him. "What's that?"

"A koto." He stuck the chords, listening intently to any disfigurement in the strings.

"Why do you have one?"

"Perhaps you would learn more if you talked less."

"You're going to play it? You can play?"

"Rather well." He replied, adjusting his seat once more before setting his fingers where he wanted.

"Why?"

He turned to her. "Why?"

"You're a fighter."

"I"m also educated. It's like asking, why read? Why have conversation? To better one's self." He returned his fingers to their spot and began to play. The music echoed out into the courtyard and his servants soon found their way to the grass area in front of his door and sat, listening and watching the hypnotic music. It was peaceful and serene. He closed his eyes, needing only to feel the strings beneath him to know where they are as he listened to the song. It was a sneaky attempt to get her to remember but for some reason, they're marriage was harder to trigger than anything else. Why? Why was there such a block against it? Did she do it intentionally? Did she not want to remember? Did she not want to remember her son? Despite her desire to learn, subconsciously was she keeping them locked away for a purpose?

It's stupid to think like that and yet, it was also natural.

Neji lifted his fingers off when he was done. Clapping made him open his eyes and he bowed lightly. They got up and drifted back to work.

"That was amazing." TenTen whispered.

Neji did not look at her.

"Did you write that?"

He nodded, touching the strings, mindlessly.

"You wrote it for her, didn't you? For me?"

He swallowed, clearing his throat. "For our wedding." He picked it up and returned it to the closet. She still sat in the chair, staring at the ground. "Let's go out for the day." He decided and TenTen looked up with eagerness, "It's against doctor's orders."

"If you manage not to make a scene, she will never know."

She jumped up, running out the door, "I'll be ready in ten!"

The minute out the front door, TenTen began to spout all these ideas about places she wanted to go. But Neji had other ideas. Aside from the fact that some of the stores she named no longer existed, he was attempting to trigger a memory so that meant doing things that had become a habit in their relationship.

Young teenage TenTen probably won't enjoy it, Neji realized but he did not care. She desperately needed some proper adult ways to deal with her energy. Perhaps then her sexual promiscuity won't be so distracting.

Leo followed them silently as it was his duty and TenTen glanced behind him, nudging him, questioning but Neji ignored her. He was here to take back anything they decided to buy. She would learn this soon enough. Neji directed her to Ino's plant store and opened the door for her but she stood at the entrance, confused. There was a question on her lips but she sighed and decided to go along with it, folding her arms and trudging in.

Ino greeted them with a beaming smile, emptying a watering can over a large silk maple tree. "Hey, you're back!"

Neji shook his head and her grin decreased a fraction but she managed to fake it anyway. "It's good to see you."

"It is?" TenTen wondered. "We're friends?" She glanced back at Neji unsure but he continued into the back to the outside section of the department.

Ino followed them out, "Yes, we're friends. Our kids- Um I'm mean um."

"It's fine." Neji called over, reaching down to pick up a small potted plant.

"Oooh, that scared me. I thought I screwed up." The door chimed, "Hi, Leo." The servant bowed, pushing a cart toward Neji so he could set out the picked foliage. "Our kids grew up together. Made us pretty close."

"Oh."

Another customer came in and Ino darted over to help. TenTen stepped beside Neji, watching as he stepped down the aisle, concentrating intently on his next piece. She shook her head, "Do you like this?"

"It is relaxing."

"What's relaxing about this?"

"Less judgement and more appreciation and you will find out."

She looked around her, trying to decide if she should bother before taking a breath and nodding. She looked back to what he had collected and tried to determine a pattern. But landscaping was not something that was guessed. It was an art that took time to learn and he knew his lands and specifically the area that they were buying for. He, however did not want to discourage her. In order to help, he stopped intentionally in front of his next choice and looked it over, hoping she will take the initiative.

TenTen moved forward, her gaze going from his face to the plant before diving in and picking one up, "What about this one?"

"What about it?" He wasn't going to make it too easy though.

"Um.. " She glanced around trying to give the answer he was looking for. He noticed Leo making a movement and so had she. Her eyes pinned on him, confused but then her eyes widened in realization, "It's brown. Oh, No. It's smart? Thoughtful? It's thoughtful, it invokes peace and serenity."

Neji shifted toward Leo and the man dropped his arms swiftly, staring straight. He brought his eyes back to TenTen and she smiled sheepishly, "Good choice." She grabbed a few more, looking over the leaves to make sure none of them were drying. And they moved on down the line. When the cart was full and TenTen had given it her all, Neji paid Ino and they exited. She exited with a heavy breath, her head falling forward, "Oh I'm falling asleep."

"Would you like to return to the compound?"

She popped up, "No, I'm good. Can we eat? I could do some dumplings."

Neji took the lead toward a restaurant they enjoyed, "You do not eat dumplings."

"What? Why?"

The real reason was Souji. When she was pregnant with him, she had eaten so many that at some point the simple sight of them made her sick. And aside from that, she gained thirty pounds and hated herself for it. "Calories."

"Calories?" SHe looked down at her flat stomach, patting the six pack beneath her shirt. "I don't think I need to worry about calories."

He shrugged, indifferent.

As they sat and ate, she spoke about the past like it was yesterday. Her memories were so fresh and so accurate, he hadn't realized how much of it he had forgotten himself. She could remember conversations. She could tell him things he said and did and he had no recollection of it himself. It was too long ago with too much trauma to bury it. But her laughter was hypnotic. And that's where it became convoluted. Because this was the TenTen that he had fallen in love with. Her excitement for life. Her uniqueness, her ideals, and her innocence had all brought him to that one conclusion that he needed her with him forever. So what was he supposed to feel now, during this spur of the moment day together, slowly turning into a date? She was different from his wife now. They're love had grown, as love tends to do as maturity and life lessons change it. He was a different person than when they started dating. Could she love him the way he was now? Could he love her with the same vigor after everything they've been through?

Neji held out his hand as they stood and she happily took it. He maneuvered her fingers to rest in the crook of his arm, as was more appropriate as they strolled through the market and she shifted in close, content to be beside him. When she picked up something she liked, he had Leo grab it. Her eyes widened and she shook her head but he continued on. Buying her things was one of his favorite pastimes despite it being a rare event. It almost felt normal. If he truly wanted to, he could forget about her memory lapse. It was familiar and common walking with her hugging his arm as they shopped. There was no burden. No prevailing sadness. It was perfect.

Neji's brows knit when he noticed a shadow ahead. It peaked around a corner, staring at them from behind a vendor. It was a good distance away and hard to distinguish. TenTen twisted to look at a vendor's table and he stopped as well, pretending to be interested as he activated his Byakugan.

"Who is it?" TenTen inquired casually, picking up a book and mindlessly breezing through it.

Neji released her arm and took a step away, don the side of the table, if only to place some distance between them. "Our son."

Her head popped up in confusion.

"Souji." He recertified. The only one she had remembered yet was Hisaya and the realization dawned on her quickly and she dropped her head back down.

"He should be in school." He looked across at her, "Go left. I'll take the back."

She shrugged, careless, "Just leave him, he's skipping."

"He's seven." Neji bit. "He isn't allowed to 'skip'."

With a sigh, she agreed and he disappeared as she ran to the left, running up along the backside of the vendors to sneak up on him. But Souji had seen her moves and began running out the backside of the alleyway only to slide to a stop as his father was already standing there. He backflipped up to a fire escape, latched onto a window and pulled himself to the rooftop. TenTen and him both put chakra into their feet and jumped to the roof.

"Souji, enough." Neji ordered, stopping him from running. "Face me."

Keeping his head bowed, the young boy turned around.

"Why aren't you in school?"

He raised his head, exposing once more a bruised face, "What do you care? You'd rather forget me anyways."

"Souji…" Neji took a step forward but he back stepped, shame keeping him still.

"No! All day I watched you. You don't even care anymore if mom doesn't remember me. I'm a murderer right?" Tears slipped down his cheeks as his lips trembled, "I killed my brother." His knees weakened and he fell to the ground. "And mom doesn't want me anymore."

"Souji." He stepped toward his son only for TenTen to move first. He observed her, unsure if she would handle this correctly but she seemed confident and he restrained.

TenTen kneeled down in front of his shaking form and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her. He stiffened drastically, wide-eyed and unsure, but then maneuvered his small arms over her neck, burying his face into her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I remember you, my silly little boy." She rocked him, quieting his cries. "And do you know what I remember most about you? Your laugh. Oh, Souji I want to hear you laugh." She kissed his temple before he pulled away, rubbing his face and nose with the back of his hand.

"Do you really remember me? You're not just saying that?"

TenTen grabbed his face, "Who did that to you? I'm gonna beat the snot out of them."

Souji broke out into a grin, giggling.

"And their deadbeat parents. How dare they touch my son?"

He fell in her lap, laughing, "You sound like her, alright."

TenTen laid her head upon his, hugging him once more, "I'll always remember you. You're one of the best things that ever happened to me."

"I am?" Souji wondered against her legs. He felt her nod against him and his fingers dug into her skin, "I'm missed you, mommy."

Neji approached. His heart beat chaotically into his chest. She sounded more like her than she had ever and by remembering Souji, she remembered a huge chunk of her memory. It could only mean she was back, right? She had to be. And when her eyes rose, meeting his, he knew it, he knew she was there inside, his wife, the one he's been waiting for.

But then, she shook her head and gave him a small, sad smile.

He tried to hide his disappointment but he was sure he failed. She dropped her gaze and rested her head on Souji's, holding him for a bit longer.

* * *

Neji let the hot water run down his chest. He held out his hands in front of him and watched the soil covering his hands and in between his nails wash away and down the drain. They had finished planting all the different foliage they had bought from the store. It had been a nice evening, teaching her and Souji how to plant and where to plant. She was interested because Souji was interested. And Souji was interested because she was there. They fed off each other, playing in the dirt, making one another laugh, enjoying each other's company. The weeks and months apart drifting until there was never any distance. All of Souji's misery disappearing within moments.

Neji could have let himself join in, and at times, he did slip, finding himself smiling watching them. But when her eyes lifted as they usually do to meet his, he looked away, reverting back to the task at hand.

It was painful to know that he was the very last thing that she remembered. And he found himself resentful.

He didn't mean to be. He didn't want to be. But it was difficult to control that feeling.

Neji stepped out of the shower. He could hear Souji's laughter through the wall. He found himself jealous. TenTen and him weren't that different in personality. She perhaps was a bit more talkative than he was. But he had a sense of humor too. He's made Souji laugh in the past. Perhaps TenTen had always been around to help him understand his jokes but that's not the point. How was she able to make Souji happy but he had failed?

After slipping on silk pants, he climbed into bed, his back against the headboard and he grabbed his book from the nightstand. Unlike TenTen's book about war, his was on the foundation of Konoha. It was not particularly interesting but he read it regardless.

His bedroom door slid open and Tenten entered with a smile on her face. "He's finally in bed." She murmured, shutting it behind her.

He observed her, saying nothing.

She went to the vanity and began undoing her hair, taking the chopsticks from each bun before her hair unraveled to the bottom of her back. She picked up the hairbrush and began her nighttime routine of brushing her hair out. It was a lengthy process but she never minded, it was relaxing and she enjoyed it.

It was here however, she realized what she was doing. The brush stopped midway through and her smile faded into confusion as she stared at her reflection. She pulled it out, fixated on the brush as if it was possessed.

Neji came up behind her, meeting her eyes in the mirror. He leaned in, wrapping his fingers around the hilt of the handle and setting it on the dresser. His chest brushed against her back, her hair tickling his skin and he looked down, gazing at the length of her neck.

She was close to finding herself. She was right on the edge. Her movements were there. Her thought process was there. Everything about her was there. It didn't matter if she didn't remember him. His wife was here, and it was enough.

His fingers traced down her arm and she took a quick breath in through her nose, her head tilting to the side and he shifted closer, his lips pressing against her ear. She fell back against him, an arm raising to rest on the back of his head. He kissed the side of her neck, pulling on her nightshirt to expose her shoulder. Her lips opened in a sigh.

TenTen spun around then and smashed her lips against his with a desperate haste. He had his arms around her, holding her to him as their tongues met. His hand slipped into her hair, gripping her head to keep her to him as he began to move slowly back toward the bed. She stepped with him while her hands danced on his skin, her nails digging into his back, his biceps, his pectorals but he detached from her to pull her shirt over her head. Then he laid her down on the bed, holding the back of her neck as he stretched out beside her, with one leg between hers.

Laughter however interrupted them and Neji leaned back on his elbow to watch as she curled up on her side in hysterical fits, covering her mouth. Her face reddened and her body wracked with humor. "I'm sorry." She forced out, waving, her eyes flicking toward him before giggling more. "It's not you."

Neji sat up, adjusting his clothes to hide his excitement, feeling very self conscious at the moment.

"I just remembered my first time." She stared at the ceiling with a bright smile on her face. "Oh my god what a disaster." TenTen sprung up, "Sorry. Where were we?"

He glared.

"Nonono. Don't retreat." She crawled onto his lap. "I'm so close. I just know it." She kissed his unresponsive lips. "I have all these memories and you're there but you're a black spot. I know it's you." A smirk twisted on her lips and she leaned in, kissing his jaw, "Neji." His chin, "I want you." HIs stiff lips, "To do what you did in that inn." She pressed her lips against his one more time and he responded, eagerly. His hands went up her back, his fingers twisting the clasp of her bra and it fell open. She shrugged it off and pushed against his chest. He laid down as she hung over him, their tongues still fighting. His hands slipped along her ribs until they cupped her breasts, his thumbs flicking over her hard nipples and she moaned into his mouth.

She broke from him and stood. She pulled her pants down, standing before him nude. His eyes raked over her perfectly shaped body. Her apex, tucked in a v shape between her thick thighs. He kissed her stomach, his hands holding her hips, going down her thighs as his lips descended, kissing the hairless area between her legs. His tongue reached out and flicked across her clit and she bucked, her hands gripping his shoulders to keep standing. With a hand under her knee, he hefted her leg up on the bed if only to press his mouth further against her nether lips, spreading them with his tongue. Her moans and gasps of breath music to his ears. Her fingers delve into his hair, pushing him closer, holding him there. He slid a hand up, a finger dipping in. She gripped his shoulders, her legs shaking. Neji pulled his face away, looking up at her, looking over her breasts, over the way she breathed, how her mouth hung open. He removed the finger and she looked down in dismay only to watched as he sucked her juices off before slipping two digits inside her. She collapsed against him. He rolled her over on the bed, pumping his fingers, stretching her and making her as wet as possible. Three months and the unknown damage of the rape made him cautious. He did not want to hurt her.

But she grabbed at his body, pulling him between her legs, demanding more. She was always impatient and he suppressed his smile. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pushing her center against his erection.

"Wait." Her eyes popping open, "I'm not taking anything. Do you have a condom? I am not getting pregnant." She winced. "Again."

He almost thought about pulling away. It was a sign that she was so close to his wife but not a hundred percent. She didn't know she had a hysterectomy six months ago. Looking down at her naked body beneath him however decided it for him. It was too late to back out now.

"You can't have children." Her brows knit for a fraction before she became careless and she found his lips again, tangling herself back around him.

Despite her desperation, Neji took his time. He did not want to remind of any horrible memories, of any forceful entry or pain. He was slow, allowing her to adjust every inch, backing out and pushing in an inch more. He watched her with such interest. She gasped and clenched. Released and breathed before starting over with each thrust. It was beautiful and perfect. Every move about her, every sound she emitted and every squeeze of his skin she commited, it was his wife. He had waited over three months to be with her again, to be beside her, to love her and make love to her and now it was here. The moment was finally here.

All the stress, the disconnection, the loneliness, it melted away with each kiss, each passionate thrust, each moment they were linked and he refused to let her go.

Why had he waited so long, he wondered? What if this was the way to her memory? Ever since the beginning words hadn't been necessary. Actions had meant more. Sex had been their communication. When they were angry, sex acted as their outlet. When they were happy, sex was their celebration When they were sad, sex was used as a reliever. Before sex, before marriage, before a relationship, training had taken its place. But talking had never been their strong point. It was perhaps something they needed to work on but as of right now, this was their way.

And what a fantastic way.

* * *

 **Don't leave here without a review!** Do you think TenTen's memory is going to come back ever? What will happen if or when it does?


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks so much for the reviews! Here's a reward, a quick post :)

Chapter

Instinct woke him.

Danger.

Neji rolled to the left just as a dagger buried into the pillow. He snapped open his eyes, just enough light from the moon to show TenTen above him. He rose his arms up, blocking her next blow, the blade an inch from his eyes. "TenTen!" He called her name in an attempt to wake her up from a nightmare.

He brought his leg up, wrapping around her upper body, knocking her off the bed. She rolled onto her feet, her blade out in front of her. She was naked yet with her brown hair all around her. She looked savage with her knees bent and her eyes wide in chaotic fear and concentration. He stood on the other side of the bed and flicked on the light on the nightstand. Her eyes narrowed as she whipped her head around, finding her surroundings familiar. Her knees straightened but her grip did not slacken. He swiped down for his pants. He kept a wary eye on her as he put them on. He noticed she had gotten the kunai from her art project above the bed. He knew he should have gotten rid of that awful thing.

Neji put up his hands. "TenTen-"

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

Her brows knit and she looked down at herself. She reached for the blanket, snapping it around her but she kept the kunai out, her knuckles white as she held it. "I, uh..I don't know." The blanket tucked into her armpit and she used her free hand to hold her head. "There's a lot."

"Who am I?"

"Tsk. What kind of question is that?"

Neji suppressed a smirk. "A legitimate one."

"Neji. My arrogant ass of a husband."

This time he did smirk. Her tone, her glare. It was her. She was finally back.

Neji eased toward the door, keeping a hand out before he slapped it open. "Leo!" He shouted down the hall.

TenTen kept a hand on her head, whispering to herself as her eyes darted in different directions. Her kunai still in a protective embrace in front of her.

Leo approached in his night attire.

"Please call for Sakura-san. TenTen has her memory." Leo bowed with a smile.

TenTen snapped up her eyes. "My memory?"

Neji kept to the opposite side of the bed. "What do you remember?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, stepping backward.

He didn't like how she was retreating. She seemed afraid and the way she kept ahold of her kunai, it worried him. "Do you fear me?"

She shook her head but yet she seemed unsure.

"How do you feel?"

"I...I...I'm confused." She admitted. "We...We were in prison." Her breath was increasing. Her hand was going to her head again.

"TenTen. Look at me."

Her eyes lifted but they fell again, wild, darting in different directions as she saw things that were no longer there.

"Look at me."

They were filling with tears as she forced them upward. She blinked and water fell down her cheeks. "It didn't happen. Tell me it didn't happen."

Neji rounded the bed and fastened to her side. Her hold on the kunai released and she gripped his arm as he held her face, "Listen to me-"

"You stopped them, right? You saved me, didn't you?"

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him. Her face pressed against his shoulder as she continued to whisper, "You were there. You saw it. You saw them. But you stopped them, Neji, didn't you?" She pulled away looking up at him, "Tell me. Tell me, you stop them."

Neji rested his forehead against hers. His brows knit in agony and he thought of all the excuses he could tell her but there was nothing. No matter her desperation, he wasn't able to lie.

He swallowed and took a breath, "I couldn't."

"No." She groaned pushing away, covering her mouth. "OH god." She lowered to her knees, curling in on herself. He took no other step to her. There was nothing he could do as she sat there, reliving her brutal moments in the prison. He was helpless just as he had been then.

* * *

Sakura knocked on the wall, interrupting the terrible minutes of silence. As she stepped into the open door, her eyes softened in sympathy with TenTen curled on the floor and Neji distantly away, staring down at her back. She approached and kneeled down beside her, once more touching her back and offering a soft smile.

TenTen glared, shrugging her off. "What are _you_ doing here?"

She giggled. "Got your memory back, I see." She pulled a needle out of her medical bag.

"No. I don't want anything."

"As you are not in your right mind, I don't have to listen to you. Neji?" She looked up at him.

TenTen darkened her gaze but he ignored her and nodded to Sakura.

She gently poked her with the needle. "It's just a sedative. Your mind needs to rest."

"I need revenge. Not rest. And neither of you are gonna stop me."

"Sure thing. When you wake, we'll talk all about your revenge." Sakura patronized as she helped her into bed. TenTen curled her knees in, pulling the blanket tight around her and she was asleep within moments. Sakura sat on the bed with her hand ignited in chakra tracing it over her figure checking out her vitals before resting it on her head. It was several minutes later before the color dissipated from her hand and she sighed out. "Was it bad?"

He stared blindly at his wife and nodded.

"It just happened for her. Not three months ago. Not yesterday. Just now. Give her time."

"Time. You keep saying that word. Time. Like it is infinite and it causes no harm." Neji went to the side door and shoved it open, allowing the night air into the room. The gardens, the moon, it wasn't really there to him. He was trapped in a seamless endless cycle, reverting back into the prison with his wife where he witnessed her brutal rape.

' _You stopped them, didn't you?'_

The door to the bedroom shut. He closed his eyes, feeling guilty for his treatment toward Sakura once more. She was doing the best she could, he knew. When this was all over, he'll donate something to that hospital of hers, a wing perhaps to make up for any ill will between them.

When the sun rose, he took the initiative to wake Souji and bring him to the Academy. He told him to go home with Metal and he'll get him sometime before dinner. And though he protested wanting to spend time with his mom, Neji didn't know what today would bring. Keeping him out of harm's way was the best option at the moment.

Leo was at the entrance of the house when he returned and suggested returning all the items out of storage and Neji threw a careless hand. Material items did not matter to him. But it gave the nosy attendant something to do and if it left him alone for a time, he'd take it.

Neji pushed his reading chair up to the bed and sat beside her. He leaned back, his head in his hand and he closed his eyes. But all he saw were images of her struggling against her captors. Her hands trapped above her head by his friends. Their whispers of 'Hurry. We got to go.' His face pressed against the bars, lifeless, as he watched them pull up her pants. She cried and they panicked, kicking her in the head to quiet her.

'Shit, what did you do that for?' Someone murmured.

'Move, we gotta go, i think someone's coming.'

'Hey.' A stranger called. He kicked the bars and Neji blinked. 'Hey, Don't say anything or we'll come back and cut your throats.'

He could hear them as they moved down the hall, 'Dude you're gonna get us killed one of these days.'

'Take a turn one time. It's worth it.'

In these dreams, he imagined he burst through the bars and ripped them apart. Their blood dripping from his fingertips. Their blood soaking his entire form as he stepped over their body parts. He was able to stop them. He saved her in every retelling. He was who she needed. He did not fail and she was smiling as he got to her.

'I knew you'd save me.' She would whisper.

When Neji opened his eyes, she wasn't there. Checking the time, it was after two in the afternoon. He stood and stepped out the open door to the veranda facing the gardens. He walked the outer deck entering through the front parlor where Leo was cleaning lunch. He pointed down the hallway and Neji followed stepping in front of the open door of Souji's room. TenTen was currently zipping up a boot. From an open box, she had found her ninja gear. A black and white kimono with blood red accents. Long earrings draped down and touched her shoulders. Her brown hair was rolled up to the top of her head in a single bun, tucked into an ornate chinese headpiece pierced with thick, sturdy chopsticks. She tucked a knife into her long boot before she straightened, looking up at him. "Are you coming?"

Talking her out of revenge was like telling him not to have manners. It was ingrained into her. There was no getting around it. And though he wasn't sure the men were alive anymore, he wasn't going to tell her that. "In a minute." He went to his room and changed into his ninja clothes, strapping up his sandals and grabbing his bag that was always prepacked.

He told Leo to look after Souji for however long they were gone and followed TenTen out the door.

They headed to the Hokage's office. She took the lead, not talking, not looking back to make sure he was following. He continued quiet, uncertain she was stable enough for this.

She knocked, waiting with a tapping foot and when the lazy reply came she barreled forward. Kakashi's eyes widened at the sight of her and he straightened, about to stand up to greet her but she spoke up, "I want a mission."

"Oh." He cleared his throat glancing at Neji but the Hyuuga stared straight, saying nothing. "Okay." His hands spread over his desk uneasily, "I think I can find you-"

"No, I want to go back to the village of flies."

He cleared his throat. "I understand you got your memory back."

"This has nothing to do with my memory. We failed, didn't we? Give us another chance."

"TenTen. That was three months ago. I sent someone else."

She paused. Words caught in her throat.

Kakashi stood, rounding the table, "There are counselors that can talk to you-"

"Tsk." She spun on her foot and darted out the door.

Neji bowed politely and followed.

She crossed her arms as she paced the hallway. "He sent someone else to clean up our mess. Doesn't that piss you off?"

He was quiet, his eyes distant.

TenTen stepped in front of him, "Let's go anyway."

Panic made him react, "That's treason."

"They'll chalk it up to emotional distress. You were following out of obligation. We'll get a slap on the wrist, you'll pay a fine your Hyuga clan can afford and we'll call it a day. I'm going with or without you. I'd rather you there to keep a look out but I can do just fine on my own." She turned down the hall.

Neji grabbed her wrist, "TenTen, can we talk for a minute?"

She snatched her hand back, "I don't want to talk. Talking isn't going to make this better, Neji. Revenge is. So join me or get out of my way."

He watched as she ran down the hallway and jumped out an open window. She was going to leave the village for a personal vendetta. That was a crime punishable by imprisonment. He couldn't let her go and yet he couldn't stop her. Stopping her would shove all her anger onto him. And he was already facing enough of it. She needed an outlet.

Neji jumped out the open window and spotted her from jumping toward the south gate. He ran after her. He would follow her. There was no other choice. As her husband, his only option was to support her as far as his conscience would allow.

She stopped at the gate to evaluate her supplies. He dropped down in front of her and she smiled, nodding her head. They took off through the gates, silent, mute, with a fracture in a connection that would have to wait for a repair until TenTen's vengeance was satisfied.

* * *

 **Well, she remembers. Is it how you imagined? Will vengeance make it better? Or will it just make it worse?**


	16. Chapter 16

Labor day chapter! Hope you enjoy

chapter

Neji had given up trying to get her to rest. She would heed no advice. And he was tired of being ignored. If she wanted to stress her body than that was her problem. He would not burden himself with it anymore. Hours, they traveled. She ate and ran. The only time they stopped was to relieve themselves. And it never lasted for more than a moment. She was beyond frustrating. But as he said, he let it go.

It was nearing four in the morning by the time they approached the land of flies. It was a pitiable village, low on income, on ninja, on tourist. Yet there was something here that had caught them last time unexpectedly: an electrical device that once tripped it began to drain chakra. Neji hadn't seen it. Hadn't realized it then. He had deactivated his Byakugan to save his chakra after noting every ninja. By the time they were instigated into a fight, it was too late. They were drained of nearly seventy percent of their reserves. Lee had been unaffected, having no chakra to start and had been the only one capable of escaping their trap. There were four jounin level ninja among their lot of amateurs and that was enough to subdue them. Their first mission report had no information about this device and it had left them vulnerable. Neji pointed to the tower where the device laid and after explaining to her the reason the mission failed her eyes darkened and she set course for it. At the base of the tower four ninjas were posted as guards.

"Stay here." She advised.

"Wait." He removed his insignia around his forehead and stuffed it in his bag. She followed suit and handed it to him. "We are from no village." TenTen nodded in agreement before she pulled the blade from her boot.

He kneeled down behind a bush and watched as she casually walked up to them. Within moments, their blood pooled on the ground as she used a single blade to slice through veins and organs, leaving them groaning in agony, alive but dying slowly. She jumped to the top of the tower and threw a bomb inside before diving out and rolling to her side just as it blew.

Sirens hollered into the dark night and awoke the village. Dozens of ninjas flew out of their beds approaching the main gate. TenTen peered at him with excitement in her eyes and blood on her cheek, "You ready?"

He nodded and together they ran to the doors. He shoved his palm forward, sending a wave of chakra, bursting the doors into a million pieces and they ran through the debris. With her beside him and he beside her, they took the first line of defense within moments, his Byakugan activated as he spun on his foot, sending palm after palm into each opponent as they charged blindly. He did not kill, only subdued as he went, hitting main chakra supplies rendering them unconscious. But his eyesight allowed to see behind him and the blood splashing and he knew for every person he saved, she murdered. He needed to do something, needed to stop her bloodshed without stopping her. She needed this and he had to allow her.

There was a point after the incident happened, Neji wanted to return and kill everyone, but time had healed the hate. The only people he desired to maim and kill were the three men that had done it to her. And he was sure they were already dead. For her, however, as Sakura had said, it had just happened. Her hate was fresh and brand new.

Neji grabbed her arm at the last moment and they flipped sides for an instant. He shoved back three individuals with a chakra burst as she stabbed two more but before she could make the final blow, he backflipped, swiping them off their feet. From behind, she somersaulted meeting another ninja, slicing an ankle and they crumbled to the floor. She swung the blade across to cut his throat but Neji threw another opponent into him knocking him to the side. She impaled the blade into his hip as he landed. She got to her feet, running to the next one jumping up and wrapping her legs around his shoulders, swinging him down on the ground and rolling till she was on top. She sliced his throat. Neji grit his teeth listening to him gurgle to death. He jumped over them, taking on the next target, his palm hitting his stomach and he flew back into a partner. Neji saw her knife fling behind him and he dipped low enough for it fly just above him. Noting the trajectory, he tossed up a blade as well, knocking hers off course to hit the ninja in the chest instead of the head.

He felt her gaze then. She figured it out.

TenTen increased her efforts and he found himself no longer fighting the horde attacking them, but protecting them. He whipped out a chakra string, pulling a soldier back before his throat was slit. He was fighting against one of the jounin he had lost to last time when TenTen threw up her scroll to aid and he spun, igniting his kaiten to protect them both from the onslaught of weapons. When the last knife fell, he straightened his pose, facing her with arms ready to defend. She had a knife in one hand and a scroll in the other, prepared for a second round. Rage ignited in her brown orbs, worse than he had ever seen before.

"TenTen." He attempted, "Those men aren't here."

The warriors gathered around them forming a tight circle. It would be difficult to get out but not impossible. They were at full strength still, barely sweating. There was still time to leave, to undo what they had done, to stop what they were doing. He begged her to see it, to come back to her senses before she ended up going further than he could follow.

"TenTen?" The jounin voiced behind him. "From Konoha?"

TenTen unraveled her scroll and a scythe rested in her hands. "You are either with me," Her brows knit in a moment of hurt before she bent at the knees hardening her features, "Or you're not, Neji."

She spun the scythe in her hands, twisting it around her back as she spun on her foot, demonstrating her abilities to the soldiers around her, threatening as they thought of their approach. She turned from him and faced them. Neji jumped over her and lowered into his stance, "I'm always with you. But I can't let you do this." He stretched his arms out, preparing to fight her.

"Wait." The Jounin cried out. "Everyone step back."

TenTen kept her dark gaze on him and he did not let up his stance. Her killer intent was still very high and she was being unpredictable.

"Our master wants to meet you, TenTen-san. Please, follow me."

Her eyes darted to the side but she set them straight, meeting him.

Neji was the first to ease out of a fighting stance. He did not say anything however. He would not convince her. She needed to make her own decision. He could only hope she would make the right one.

TenTen stood up, her scythe at her side and she stepped after the Jounin, ignoring him as she passed. He crossed his arms, glancing around at the damage they had caused. Eight dead out of the thirty they had dismantled. He doubted if a simple slap on the wrist would await them. He should have done more. He should have told someone. Now she had blood on her hands that didn't belong there.

Neji followed behind as they were brought to the large building in the center. The room was empty but lit with candles and a large hearth in the center sent enough light on the entire room. The Jounin bowed, before he left and they were alone. Neji stared at the fire, unsure what to say or do. This had gotten out of control.

For three months he had waited for her to remember who she was. He thought the moment she returned, he would find a solace because ever since the incident, he felt empty and incomplete. But instead she woke and he felt further from her then ever before. Rather than surrounding herself with his love and affection, she embraced hostility and retaliation.

He felt a bitter smile stretch on his lips as he shook his head. Was he really that surprised? She was not easy to court. She despised the typical romantic gesture other women would die for. She required more fierce actions. Such as, a date that required numerous weapons, an empty battlefield, and a reward she deemed worthy. Their first kiss had been during battle. And several others had soon followed. Lee was not lying when their engagement had only lasted two months. The fire between them had grown into an inferno too quickly and too wildly to be smothered. But, despite their engagement being quite short, they had dated for a bit before that. It was difficult however to give an exact time frame. She would be warm and welcoming to his affection one week and then the next completely disregard him. If she believed he let her win a battle, her animosity would stretch for days until a small act of kindness warmed his way back into her heart. These acts usually consisted of waiting for her for dinner, or walking her home. It was no doubt, early on that TenTen would be a difficult woman to love. Yet that was what made it worth it.

"Why'd you come?" She bit through the silence. "If you were just going to stop me?"

He turned and met her eyes. But he made no reply. She knew the answer. This TenTen, this woman that's been his wife for ten years, she didn't need him to point out the obvious.

She fastened toward him, "Three months is all it takes for you to forget? You want me to remind you? Because it's fresh up here," she points to her head. "Want me to describe the details? How they pulled my pants down-"

"Stop."

"How he shoved himself-"

Neji grabbed her arm, "Enough."

"It's not enough. Neji. It's not enough. You just had to watch-"

"Just had to watch...Proof you are so far removed from reality." He pushed her away. "I should have turned you over to Sakura. You need more help than I can give you."

A door opened up. Entering in his night attire, 'Master' hurried through, bustling closer. "Are you really, TenTen of Konoha?"

She gave him a skeptic look. "Why?"

"I've been trying to contact your Hokage but he refuses to respond. I didn't think I would ever get the chance to talk with you. Please." He motioned to a table and ushered over a servant for tea. She glanced at Neji, a habit she did if only to see what he thought but then decided on her own and sat at the table. He stood behind her, acting as a bodyguard instead, unsure of the man's intentions still.

"My name is Master Su. I am the owner of these lands. I go to poor villages and offer to take any children to raise as ninjas. I pay a good amount. I raise these children well. They grow up and find themselves prominent in poor villages like this one, becoming leaders, diplomats, dignitaries. But every so often there is a bad apple among the bustle. Watti was one. I thought I beat the evil out of him but I was wrong. And he shamed us." He bowed his head momentarily.

TenTen held her tea cup in her hand, unmoving. "He.." She tried to form words but they were lost.

"When I found out what happened to you, TenTen-san, I had him hung in the town square. It was a slow hanging, he lasted for several hours. I swear on my honor, I would never allow something like that here. I am beyond ashamed it happened to begin with. I understand there were comrades. They are down below in the prisons. Starving to death. I believe one is already dead. The other is on his way. You are very much welcome to take your revenge on him. But please. Spar my village. They are innocent."

It was silent and Neji understood why. She was understanding the fact that she had killed innocent people. The man she wanted was gone. There was no one left to place the blame. He wasn't sure if that made her feel better, to know that he's been dead all this time, or if she now felt unjustified because she hadn't be able to do it herself.

TenTen slowly turned and looked up at Neji. Her eyes were full of an emotion he mourned over. Guilt.

Master Su continued, glancing up at Neji as well, "I understand you were there also. Can I have your name?"

"Hyuga Neji."

"I can't imagine being unable to assist a teammate in such a desperate time."

He swallowed, looking down at her. The answer to her question from earlier coming to his lips, "She's my wife."

He stuttered before he shifted and bowed deeply, his forehead pressing against his hands, "Please, forgive us. We hold no animosity towards you. Any deaths today will be washed away. You have my word."

TenTen stood, "Take me to the prison."

"Right away."

He got to his feet and with a call of a servant, keys were placed into his hand as he pulled open the doors. TenTen and Neji followed quietly behind coming out to the steps. They were surprised however as all the soldiers they had fought before were now standing in columns in front of the steps, as if greeting a king. The jounin made a noise and on cue, all of them lowered to their knees and pressed their foreheads to their hands in a pose of forgiveness.

TenTen's mouth dropped open, as she took it in, scanning the entire campus as they saluted to her. Neji felt a heaviness drip off him. This is what she needed. Kindness. Because despite her cruelty, despite her quickness to maim and torture, she has a weakness for kindness. And it's something he learned rather unexpectedly when they were younger, and it craved a pathway to her heart.

They went down the steps of the underground prison silently. Master Su left them in front of the bars that belonged to the two men that had held her down as his friend took his time defiling her. One was unmoving in the corner. Bones and clothes were all that was left behind.

The smell was worse than death. It was the stench of decay. Of rotting body parts. Or human waste mixed into one. But as Ninjas it affected them little as they stared down at the last remaining culprit.

He looked up at them with skin dripping off his bones. His cheeks had sunken in, his eye sockets pushed back. His lips eaten off. He was near death and could barely speak. TenTen turned from him, "I can't." She whispered darting back up the hallway.

This was however one thing Neji could do. He flicked a knife into his skull. Black blood seeped from it as the body fell. And simply because, he threw one more at the rotting bones in the corner.

They left the village as the sun rose but he was exhausted and so was she. They had no provisions to make camp and with the sun up, it would be hot, humid, and horrible sleeping conditions but without much of a choice they found a place with enough shade and thankfully a slight breeze. He sat at the base of a tree trunk and used his knee to rest his head as she used his bag as a pillow, curling up into a ball, falling asleep instantly.

He woke to the sound of crying. His eyes snapped opened and he looked all around till he found her, her shoulders shaking, her hands over her face. He crawled toward her, gripping her arms and she wrapped up around him, burying her face into his shoulder. He gripped her tight, falling back on his butt as he brought her into his lap, rocking her convulsing body.

"I'm sorry," She choked out. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop it."

He shook his head against her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Neji pulled her away, gripping her wet face in his hands and fiercely told her, "It's my fault. I am to blame."

"No. Neji, No. You couldn't do anything. You were trapped."

"You were trapped. How can you blame yourself?"

Her tear riddled eyes flicked back and forth before a laugh busted forth and her head fell on his shoulder. "Do you hear us? We're so stupid."

His hands ran through her hair, his lips against her temple.

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault."

Neji leaned back against the base of the tree, keeping his arms tight around her as she began to calm down. Her tears still dripped into his clothes but no longer as heavy. He was relieved to be holding her again. Now the healing process could begin. This is what he's been waiting for. Days, weeks, and months, for her to allow it. His life truly evolved around her.

He was falling asleep, listening to her light breathing, the warmth of the day and the gentle breeze through the trees when she spoke after nearly an hour of silence.

"Did we...sleep together last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"It's different. Everything that happened the past three months is like a dream. It wasn't real to me. It's fading faster than I can think of it. It's almost as if it didn't happen at all."

Neji wished it were the same for him.

"But last night...aside from the fact that I still have stuff dripping out of me." She glared up at him. He shot his eyes to the left. "I remember it pretty well. It reminded me of another time." She grinned at that point, snuggling deeper into his arms. "The night we conceived Souji."

"You think it was that time."

"It had to be that."

And then she went on the normal tangent.

"We hadn't had sex for a whole month we were on a mission apart from each other. We crossed paths at that inn for one night and had the most amazing night in a long time and then I don't see you again till we meet up for a mission. It had to be then."

"Every time you tell it, I must inquire to your emphasis of 'a long time'. Are you insinuating that every time is not an amazing time?"

"And every time you bring that up, I respond I'm exaggerating. Of course every time is an amazing time."

"Are you patronizing?"

She giggled looking up at him. He had a soft smile as he met her eyes. "You missed me."

He nodded, leaning down to capture her lips.

He parted however quickly, "We need to talk."

"We are talking."

"More."

"About what?"

"Everything."

"That's a little extensive. Can you narrow it down a little?"

He shifted and she maneuvered off his lap to sit in front of him. He crossed his legs, straightening his back. She became nervous at this and tucked a bang behind her ear. Neji was unsure where to start so he decided the best place was at the beginning.

"You had a miscarriage."

Her eyes dropped, "Oh." Then a bit of anger shined through, "Sakura."

"She concluded you told me. Which you should have."

"Yeah. Probably." TenTen sighed, "It wasn't a big deal."

"You had a hysterectomy."

"God, she's a loudmouth."

"That's a big deal."

"What happened to patient privacy? I'm gonna sue her."

"TenTen."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I should have told you that too."

"You were on antidepressants."

Her fist smashed into the tree, "Damn it Sakura."

Neji waited patiently.

Her seething calmed and she mulled over her thoughts. "I didn't want you to worry."

"That's not a good answer."

"WHat's a good answer then?"

"The truth."

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Because we don't talk."

"That's never bothered you before."

"It bothers me now."

"Why?"

"Because for three months I couldn't get through to you. Nothing triggered your memory. I was the last thing you remembered. Why?" He gave her a moment to answer. "You associate me with all the wrong in your life and you did not want to remember. I cannot allow it to continue. We need to fix it. We need to talk about Hisaya. About our daily problems even if they are inconsequential. We need to communicate because I refuse to lose you any further than I have."

TenTen sat there before she popped suddenly to her feet. Words tangled on her lips as she thought to herself loudly. "Lose me? This guy. What the hell is he talking about?" She paced wildly before him for another moment before she sat on her knees in front him, "I haven't had three months to deal with this. I didn't have any epiphany or eye opener. I don't know why you're bringing this up now, I can't-" She stopped, shaking her her head stuttering before she finally gets out, "It's like we're not on the same page."

He observed her and realized his mistake. He's put too much on her. She needed more time. The problem was, he had too much of it. All that he has suppressed during the three months of her memory lapse, was gushing out and it wasn't the time. He needed her to catch up and quickly or he was going to lose his ability to be patient.

He stood. "We can talk about this later."

"That's the problem, Neji. I don't want to talk about it." She gripped her head in sudden anger, "You keep wanting to talk. I don't want to talk about H...I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to talk about my _problems_." She spat with disgust. "I'm fine with how we've been."

"You've been lying to me. Everyday."

"Little lies. Meaningless lies."

He stiffened his jaw, letting that sink in. Maybe if she heard it, she'd realize the absurdity of it. 'Meaningless lies.' Was there such a thing?

TenTen got to her feet and snatched his bag off the ground, tossing it to him and stepping close, "I can't wrap my head around this right now. I'm still dealing with everything else. We'll talk." She aggravatedly agreed, "Just not here. Not yet." TenTen jumped up to the tree and took off to the village.

Neji stared down at the ground. She was right. It was like they weren't on the same page.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Further and further from a happy ending. What do you guys think? Is Neji being too rash? Or is TenTen ignoring problems she shouldn't be?**


	17. Chapter 17

Only one review last chapter...Anyway...

Chapter

They approached the gates of Konoha with trepidation. As predicted, guards waited at the gate, eyeing them with disappointment. "The Hokage wants to see you two."

TenTen mumbled something under her breath, irritation budding on her shoulders as she took lead. He had no prediction to their punishment. He had never disobeyed an order or ignored a rule. He certainly had never left the village on his own and attacked innocences. Eight ninjas were dead because of them. And though they had killed hundreds by now in the years that they became teammates, he knew this would stay with him. Those eight people would remain on his conscience and he was sure TenTen felt the same.

They entered the Hokage's office and met Kakashi's passive face. He sat back in his chair, studying them for sometime, looking them over. Neji could see their profiles on his desk, a scroll from the land of flies, and a probation sheet on the top corner. He brought a good deal of air in his lungs, preparing himself.

"TenTen, you are removed from the roster for six months."

Her steady form unraveled, "Removed? No missions?"

"Would you rather be in prison?"

She straightened, hardening her pose. Her hands fisted at her side.

"As this is both your first infraction and considering the reason for it, it's hard to discern proper punishment. Then Master Su sent a very passionate letter. I feel partially to blame. I never opened his letters before, thinking he was trying to get back the scroll we took from him. Had I known he was simply trying to contact you, I would have allowed you to go, had you wanted. And perhaps eight innocent lives would have been spared."

TenTen bowed her head.

"Eight lives, TenTen. Do you feel avenged?"

A minute passed before she shook her head.

"No. I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way. You will also be required to take four months of counselling. I have always made this an option before but now, I hope you will see that it's something you need."

A soft nod was his response.

"Dismissed."

Neji twitched ready to follow TenTen out the door, only to recall he hadn't been disciplined yet. He straightened as she shut the door. He wanted to follow her, to listen to her grievances but he knew his requirement. There was silence for a long time afterward as Kakashi shuffled the papers on his desk.

He cleared his throat.

The Hokage lifted his eyes, "Anything else, Neji-san?"

"You haven't decided my own punishment, Hokage-sama."

"Oh." He leaned back lazily in his chair. He thought for a long moment, staring at something distant before he popped up, "The hospital is asking for a new MRI machine. Such funds are hard to come by currently. I would appreciate your help in the matter."

"That's all, Hokage-sama?"

He smiled, "I'm not married, Neji-san, so perhaps I don't understand fully. But I can grasp the concept of teammates. From Master Su, you were able to stop serious injury to many of his men. You took risk doing so considering. No, Neji-san. You will receive nothing from me."

Neji bowed his head. "If you will send any needs from the hospital to me, I will see them taken care of." Kakashi nodded and he walked out the door.

TenTen was waiting for him down the hall. "This is ridiculous."

He passed by with crossed arms, "You got off easy."

"Easy? No missions for six months. What am I going to do?"

They traveled down the steps. He thought she would have been affected, like him, but her words expressed otherwise. Had any of it made an impact?

"I think the longest vacation I've ever been on is a week. I'm going to go crazy."

The last step he turned to her, looking up angrily and her eyes widened meeting him, "Vacation? This is not a vacation. We murdered eight people, TenTen. I cannot forget so easily anymore. I will not."

Shock waved over her face and a little voice came out, "Why are you mad at me?"

He turned away, continuing his step, "I'm not mad at you. I'm tired of your disregard."

* * *

A search for his son, led them to Lee's. Upon knocking on the door, it was a game of pretend. All smiles, all fake laughs, all the tension between them swept under masks of parents that wanted to make their son happy. Souji was jumping up and down, running ahead and running back as they walked to their compound, excited to have his mother and father home and together again. He kept asking 'Do you remember when…" and TenTen would chuckle and reassure him that she did by finishing the memory with some moment of her own.

They stopped for a small meal at one of Souji's favorite places to eat before taking a dessert home for Leo. He would be unprepared with their sudden arrival since neither of them had sent a message ahead and it would upset him not to have the house prepared but a sweet would warm him up quickly. Neji noted how TenTen also bought herself a bottle of sake but he said nothing.

As expected Leo was not waiting in the house when they got there. TenTen went about making tea for Neji as he and Souji sat at the parlor table. The little boy yawned, hiding it with great difficulty. He hadn't realized it had gotten so late. "Go to bed." He ordered.

"But-" He cut himself off upon his father's gaze and he bowed his head, standing up and miserably heading down the hall.

TenTen set the tea in front of him and sat down, taking her sake out of the bag. She poured herself a little, glancing at him. He shook his head as he took a sip and she swung back a quick swig. Her face scrunched up but then she swallowed and nodded. The silence stretched after that. What was he supposed to say? What did he want her to say? Why did it feel so disconnected? He wanted her back to normal. She just felt so far away.

"I'm gonna take a bath." She took up the sake and cup as she journeyed down the hall.

He sipped his tea in quiet. Three months she's missed out on and she acts like nothing happened within that time frame. Didn't she want to know how he survived? How he managed without her? Didn't she care enough to ask these kinds of questions?

Leo popped in the door with wide eyes, looking down at him. His face darkened. Neji pushed the plastic container toward the end of the table.

Walking down the hall, he past Souji's room to the large sauna across the hall. TenTen was inside and he stared at the closed door for sometime, unsure if he should join her.

"Dad?" Souji's muffled voice came through his door.

Neji turned from the bathroom and went back to his room, stepping inside. The boy was laying in his bed, curled on his side.

"Mom's still not okay, is she?"

Neji sat beside him, pulling his blanket up to his shoulder. A hand rested on his head. "No."

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head. He found himself saying the same thing Sakura has been saying. "She needs time."

Souji nodded softly, closing his eyes.

Neji stood.

"I feel like," He began. "I feel like she needs us to be okay though, you know? LIke normal? So I'm going to pretend like nothing's wrong. And then maybe, she'll start to feel better."

His son was so attuned to those around him. He was more caring than he knew. Neji nodded in agreement. "I will also." He promised and Souji smiled happily before closing his eyes once more.

Neji shut his door. He was creating a rift that didn't need to be there. He was being selfish in his impatience. All the things he wanted to fix in their relationship needed to wait. Though it had been three months for him, it wasn't for her. She had just been raped. She needed comfort, consistency, and reassurance. He was providing none of this.

With determination, Neji went across the hall and pushed opened the bathroom door. TenTen sat in the large tub, the hot water steaming around her, she was currently taking a sip of sake as she met his gaze. She shifted, making room for him. He closed the door behind him and removed his clothes. He pinned his long hair to the top of his head with several chopsticks before he climbed the stairs and slipped in behind her. She poured another cup of sake and laid back with her head resting on his shoulder and her back pressed against his chest. He closed his eyes, enjoying her presence. Simply holding her began to heal the wounds the months separated caused.

She handed him the full cup of liquor and he took it, throwing it back and letting it sit in his mouth before swallowing. "Hm." He appreciated the taste. She always knew the right ones to chose.

Neji took the sponge off the side of the tub and ran it along her arm, up her neck. She had her own long brown hair twisted up and only a few tendrils stuck to her skin. He ran it down her spine and along her shoulder blades. Her gorgeous body causing a rush of excitement he wanted to ignore. He didn't want to touch her in that way. He wanted only to enjoy her, get to know her again, love her again.

There were hundreds of tiny little scars from training and countless missions. He could only identify ten percent of her old wounds while she could recall perhaps fifteen. They were unimportant and yet a part of her, every little nick had made her into the weapon's mistress she had become. He rested his lips against the side of her neck, just tiny little touches that made her smile and relax against him.

After a half hour of resting in the heated liquid and keeping track of her alcohol intake, he made the call to end their soak when he noticed her eyes closing. She stumbled climbing down the steps and only giggled as he steadied her. He assisted her in her robe and after he slipped on his own, he hefted her up in his arms. She smiled warmly dropping her head against him.

He laid her down in their bed and she was already asleep.

How was Souji better at understanding compassion than he was? The little boy seemed to know exactly what needed to be done. He should listen to him more often. Perhaps he could break through TenTen's incredibly tough exterior a little quicker than his recent process. Ten years he had made only a foothold in the doorway.

Neji laid with his back to her. He was unsure if he should even sleep in the same bed. If she were to wake up with a man beside her in the dark would it spark any suppressed memories? He left the light on from the bathroom, closing the door just enough to illuminate the room and though it landed right on his face, he didn't mind it if it had the possibility of easing any nightmares.

It was the reason he was so surprised when her fingers traced across his neck, pulling his hair off his shoulders so her lips could touch his skin. She shifted closer, her breasts pressing into his shoulder blades as a leg twisted around his hip, hugging him to her. Her hand dipped into his robe, sliding along his chest, down his stomach.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Don't talk." She murmured against him, digging her hand deeper until she gripped his sleeping member. She slowly began to work him, soft and delicately until she felt him begin to harden and then she jerked faster till he was fully erected. She pushed him on his back as she slid on top. TenTen pushed the top of her robe off, exposing her breasts to the air, showing her sharp nipples. He did not touch, resting his hands on her thighs but she pushed them up and cupped her breasts The moment she released his hands, they dropped back to the bed.

Agitation filled her glare.

"You aren't ready for this." He explained.

She rolled her eyes, untying his robe and pulling it away to reveal his erection. "I told you not to talk."

Neji decided to show her, moving quickly, latching onto her hands and pinning them behind her back, sitting up to kiss her.

It was instant, the fear, the reaction. She leaned back for momentum to slam her forehead into his but he leaned to the side, releasing her hands and she jumped back landing on the floor in front of their bed. She hugged her arms around her as she kneeled on the ground, panting in pure terror.

He stood, tying his robe tight as he observed her.

Her body shook and he wasn't sure if she was nodding or trembling. "Okay." She managed to squeeze out. "Too soon."

He yanked a blanket off the bed and came up, dropping it around her shoulders. "Put your robe back on. I'll be back."

"Bring the sake." She got up, numbly holding the blanket to herself as she sat on the bed. He watched from the doorway as she slipped her arms back into her robe, then she brought her legs up to her chest, resting her chin against her knees and keeping the blanket tight around her. She had a faded dead look in her gaze he had seen too many times in his life.

She didn't blink again until two small feet came into view and she blinked, a tear falling off her cheek. She was quick to wipe it away as she looked up.

Souji stood in front of her, rubbing a fist in his eye socket. "Mom?" He murmured tiredly, "Dad said you had a nightmare."

She looked at him standing in the doorway. A soft smile broke her misery.

"I can sleep here with you until you feel better, if you want."

TenTen nodded, tears pooling but she swallowed before she spoke, "Yeah." And she pulled his small body into hers, curling around him. His small arm laid on her back, patting her softly as he whispered sleepily, "It's okay. It was just a dream."

Neji laid down and TenTen's hand reached behind her grabbing his, pulling him to mold into her backside. She twisted her head, her hand resting on his cheek. He leaned down and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry." She said into his lips. He shook his head. "I'll talk. I promise. Anything you want." He kissed her again relieved. "Just help me. Because I'm scared."

"Of what?"

She rested her head back on the pillow, kissing Souji's head, whispering with a trembling voice, "I don't know who I am anymore."

He was left with such a conviction to mull over silently for the rest of the night and though he had his son and wife sleeping in his arms, he slept with difficulty. Dreams of being married to a stranger interrupting him, reliving the days when her memory had left her and he was alone.

* * *

 **What do you think? What's going on with TenTen? Has everything in her past finally caught up to her? How will Neji help? Will it be too late to save their marriage?**


	18. Chapter 18

\- Chapter

It took a week for her armour to begin to crack. Neji noticed the change in her this session as he sat in a distant corner on a meditation cushion with his knees tucked beneath him. She was twirling a kunai between her fingers as she went from one side of the room to another. The last seven days of counselling she had met the doctor with resistance. She scoffed at questions like, what happened to Hisaya? She rolled her eyes at inquiries like, Tell me about what you saw in the war. And she laughed when the therapist asked, How did that make you feel?

Now there was a silent pause. He wondered if he was hindering her process. He hadn't thought it was a good idea for him to come to begin with but she had refused to 'suffer' alone.

Neji stood and TenTen glanced at him. He stepped to the door and she was at his side, stopping the screen from closing, "Where are you going?"

"Right outside."

"Stay."

"Talk to her."

"I don't want too. She's an old coot with a huge mole on her cheek."

He met her eye, a silent message. She had said she would talk and she had done nothing yet. It was time to let go. TenTen nodded, her hands falling and he shut the door. He stepped down the hallway were there was a sitting area and a windowsill. He leaned against the wall, the sunlight shining in.

Despite him wanting her to talk to someone, he wanted that someone to be him. He desired to hear her doubts, her fears, her troubles, her aniexties, her regrets, her sadnesses. That was his job wasn't it? To listen to her as she broke down and be the one to comfort and reassure her. Why will this stranger know more about her than him? It wasn't right.

He also understood that a therapist could give her tools to mentally handle her emotional strain. He was not equipped with such education. But perhaps he could learn. He's ignored the clan for weeks now. A few more days of learning how to be a counselor for his wife's mental health certainly seems a logical reason to continue the habit.

A half hour later TenTen emerged. It was clear she had been crying but she pretended she hadn't been and so he made no remark.

"Let's train." Unable to deny her such a thing, he readily agreed and they took off for the training grounds. He had made plans to meet up with a number of clan members to talk about the bugs eating their wheat crops but on the level of priorities, it was easy to see why he put her above it. Still they were beginning to talk about his disregard. With her memory back, her health at full recovery, and her inability to take missions, he had no excuses. He needed to return to his responsibilities.

They trained in silence for over an hour. Long enough for sweat to build, for tension to grow, and her temper to rise. Every training her goal was to strike him at least once, weather it was with a fist or a blade it did not matter. And she had landed nothing yet. He could see the frustration in her brow as he bent backward, avoiding her sharp knife. He thrusted his palm upward but she blocked it with a scroll and pushed off his hand to do a backflip, sending her a few feet away.

Noticing the position of the sun he called out, "That's enough."

She straightened and tucked her scroll into her side pocket, holding out her hand as he snatched a used jutsu off the ground and handed it to her. They made their way to the academy to pick up Souji. They've been picking him up everyday this week in an effort to spot the hooligans that were beating him up. Not that they would do anything as this was a fight between kids. Still, if by chance they caught the suspects and gave them a threatening 'look' it just might be enough to save their child from further assault and Souji would be none the wiser, believing his parents were only there to spend time with him, because of course, they were.

As they stood outside the gates waiting for the bell to ring with the other parents, TenTen toed the ground, "What do you think about going away for the weekend?"

"Where?"

She shrugged, smiling sheepishly, "Our favorite hot spring. We haven't visited there in a while."

He agreed. "I will send a bird ahead."

"What about Souji?"

He had every intention of bringing Souji but apparently she hadn't. Lee was currently out on a mission and Metal was staying with Ino and Sai.

"Hinata and Naruto will be okay with watching him for a couple of days, right?"

He did not like to bother the Uzumaki's due to the fact that Boruto was a trouble maker and Naruto was constantly on missions. But TenTen would not leave Souji behind if she didn't think it was necessary and so he nodded and would sent a note when they returned to the compound.

Souji came running down the steps and instantly went on a one sentence triade that lasted ten minutes about everything he did that day. He demonstrated his backflips and frontflips and punches and kicks, saying how he was the best in the whole class. Even better than Boruto he pointed out, who was currently his arch rival. Boruto was a year older and more confident then Souji but he lacked one important thing which Souji pointed out, the Byakugan. He patted his father on the back, thanking him.

Neji looked to TenTen, incredulous but she was laughing hysterically.

* * *

They 'abandoned' a somber and weeping child on Naruto's doorstep with guilt on their shoulders. Souji knew how to lay on the regret as they walked away but as long as TenTen kept moving so did he. Whatever the reason for this sudden retreat had her determined and so he continued to follow her move.

They arrived at the hot spring after dinner but because of the bird Neji had sent, the servants were waiting for them. They were casual visitors to this sanctuary, at least twice, if not three times a year staying for three to four days at a time and spending an extensive amount of money in the process. The owners made sure to lavish them with the best as was expected.

A two room suite was the quarters. It was spacious with a grand bed in one area and a seating area in the other. The seating area led straight out into a private hot spring. It was small but large enough for six people to fit comfortable. There were candles hanging for a subtle romantic atmosphere.

They changed into the common customary robes that were folded on the bed. She assisted him, tying up his hair before doing her own, then they sat at the table and waited for the food to be brought in. With a soft knock, the servants bustled around, laying out all the components for dinner: rice, fish, vegetables, and of course sake.

TenTen poured him his first cup and he took it up saluting to her. She was happy, her cheeks red in excitement as she downed her first drink with vigor. He could already feel himself relax. Getting away was probably one of the best ideas. All the problems that were circling them seemed to drift. He didn't have to think about any of it. The last three months fell away. The problems with Souji. The problems with the clan. All of it forgotten. And it was simply him and TenTen again. It was normal. This was the feeling he's been waiting for since the day of the prison.

Normalcy.

She poured him another drink and as he went to grab it, she leaned in and he obliged, kissing her. TenTen grinned taking up her own drink and throwing it back. She was feeling it too. The ecstasy of normality.

He was silly to think they needed to talk about anything. They weren't talkers. Simply sitting here like this, was the reason why he loved her. To be with her in silence and enjoy that silence was a rare thing and he needed to be grateful for it. They didn't need conversation. It didn't matter if they used to have great conversations, if time had changed them. Time changes everything. What matters is that he loved her and she loved him despite those changes.

After eating and several more cups of sake, the servants cleared away the food and left them. They put a sign on the door that would stop anyone from disturbing them and journeyed to the hotspring. Removing their robes, they were naked beneath and they both slipped into the hot water with groans on their lips.

She sat across from him, her face red from the heat or the liquor, it didn't matter. Her smile wouldn't fade as she met his eyes. "Thank you for this. I needed it."

He leaned his head back against the rock, staring at the black sky. There were distant stars and he contemplated how many there actually were. The water shifted as she moved closer, till she snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arm around her and her arm clenched across his stomach. With the heat, the alcohol, her beside him, and the final lack of stress, he could have easily drifted to sleep and he closed his eyes, resting his head back.

Shortly after however, her hand sank, wrapping around his flaccid member and slowly began stroking to wake him. He made no move, enjoying the sensations she was causing.

For a week they've made no attempt to have sex again. And aside from kisses here and there and holding her as they slept, he has not touched her and she has made no effort to be touched. It had to be her to take the initiative considering so he was relieved she was making it but he was still unsure if it was too soon. She had made little progress in counselling. But the past week at home had been good for her. Despite her stating she would have nothing to do, she had finished her book, began to mediate every morning and evening with him, and spent the afternoons with Souji taking him to the park, training with him, or visiting friends she had ignored during her three months of memory loss.

TenTen shifted a leg over his waist as she straddled him and her lips pressed on his own. Their tongues met with hunger, twisting and he touched her waist but her hands were quick to pull them away and hold his fingers. He took that as a subtle sign and when her hands went back to his neck, he dropped them to his sides. She parted from his lips and he pressed them instead to her neck, down her chest and she was more than compliant, leaning up so he could reach her breast, taking her nipple in his mouth and flicking his tongue over it as he sucked. She moaned, pressing him closer. He could feel her body tremble. He did not know if it were from fear or excitement. He pulled back if only to look over her face but her eyes were closed and her mouth was opened. She looked to be enjoying everything but she was very good at hiding.

"TenTen."

"Hn."

"Lay down."

A smile twisted on her lips and she nodded, climbing out of the hotspring to sit on the edge. She laid down on the stone floor but her legs were shyly closed. His wet hand rose out of the water and dripped the hot liquid on her cooling thighs and she hissed as he touched her. A wordless command she spread her legs, bending them, exposing her beautiful center. She was watching with excitement, her chest heaving and she bit her lip as he approached. And when he set his tongue against it she bucked and let out a squeal. He wanted her to relax, to forget about the horribleness that happened to her and he knew just how to do that. An arm wrapped around her thigh coming from above to spread her bottom lips, exposing her clit and with his whole tongue he rolled against it as he inserted a finger from below. Her breath was heavy and he listened to each moan, moving his finger to find the certain spot he knew was inside to press and when he located it, she bucked. He found it humorous that he could work her so easy.

But as time went on, he was coming to the realization it was taking an awful long time. Usually it was a four to five minute action and she was trembling in orgasm. And sure, he had no clock to gauge but it had to be over ten minutes now and she was still no closer. He adjusted his position, his hand cramping, his tongue tiring.

TenTen sat up, "I want something bigger." She pushed him away and sunk back into the water, climbing on his lap as he took his seat. He allowed the moment to pass as she gave him no time to think about it when she gripped his cock, rubbing it against her apex. She kissed him, his tip right at her entrance and she rubbed it, teasing them both. He squeezed his eyes shut and he heard her chuckle. She loved to tease. And though every part of him wanted to grab her hips and slam her down, he refrained, resting his elbows back on the edge of the hotspring, and dropping his head back as well. She was slow as she lowered herself and he clenched his teeth, lest a moan pass through him. Her mouth was at his ear and he heard every release of breath and every little whisper of ecstasy. She settled on his lap, taking all of him in and wiggling her hips if only to get him as deep as possible. With her feet on the seat and her knees near his chest, she used his shoulders to assist her as she lifted off, only to drop back down.

He fisted his hands. It took all control to stop from grabbing her. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Would it matter anymore? She seemed fine. He could touch her.

She bounced repeatedly and he lifted his head if only to watch her ample bosom rock with the force. The water splashed between them. The heat making it near unbearable to stay still. Five minutes in and he couldn't do it.

Neji latched on to her hips and picked her up, turning them around to lay her on the ground and he held her tight as he shoved in.

And it was then her chakra filled foot slammed into his chest and sent him flying back in the water. His back hit the opposite side of the hot spring, water splashing in giant waves, pouring over the edges and soaking the floors.

Long after the water settled, he continued to stare at her, wide-eyed and confused. TenTen had her legs curled into her as she appeared just as shocked looking back at him.

He blinked, removing any emotion from his face and retained his normal stoic facade and climbed out, reaching for his robe.

"Neji-"

"It's fine." He tied it tight around his waist and he was just about to bypass her on the floor before his feet stopped on their own.

She had effectively hurt his feelings, as silly as it sounded. If at any moment she wasn't ready she had only to tell him and he would have backed off. But all her actions told him otherwise. He was confused. How were they still not in sync? How come he hadn't noticed her fear?

He held a hand out to help her stand. She wasn't aware of it, holding herself, shaking and miserable. Unable to touch her, he called her name and she lifted her eyes up, noticing his fingers. She rested her hand in his and he pulled her to her feet. She went and got her robe as he stepped into the room, snuffing out multiple lanterns, all except one near her side of the bed as he laid on his side with his back to her.

"Neji."

"It's fine, I said."

"It's not fine."

He sat up, "No, it's not." He crossed his arms, staring at the ground. "Do you think I'd hurt you?"

"It's not you."

"If you realize that you have a problem then why have you done nothing to fix it?"

"It's not that easy."

He stood facing her. "I have not pressured you. If you were not ready, why are you forcing it?"

She had her arms wrapped around her. Her head bowed and a few strands of brown hair dripping in front of her face. Her eyes were on the floor and he wondered what she was thinking, why it was so hard for her to talk to him. She looked so small. So powerless and compared to the woman that she was, the dangerous killer she really was, it was disconcerting.

"Do you know," She began, "What I spoke about today? It wasn't...the rape..It wasn't...our boy...It wasn't anything in the past. It was about us."

He remained impassive despite the confusion developing inside.

"Why you feel so distant from me. Why there's this gaping hole between us. Why we aren't on the same page, at all. In everything that's happened in our lives, I have never been alone. You have experienced it all with me. Every pain I've felt, you have felt. Every happiness, you have felt. Everything. There has been no need for us to talk simply because we have always been right there, existing together. So why aren't you here now? You were with me, Neji. You were right there as it happened. So why aren't you with me now?"

He bowed his head. The answer to this was simple. There was a three month gap between them. He had suffered alone while she had slept. He had night after night of awareness while she lived in a land of ignorance. He had experienced complete detachment from his wife while she didn't even know he existed. It was the first time in their life were they had been separated by more than just space.

She rubbed her face, "The therapist says its because you had three months to move on."

He nodded softly.

"And it was probably hard for you."

He nodded once more.

Her brows knit. "I didn't think about that. Souji says you were a mess but he exaggerates. I didn't believe him. I can't picture you being anything other than calm and in control."

He shook his head. He had been nothing sort of calm or in control. He sat on the bed and held his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees. She was pushing herself simply to be closer to him. How could he be so blind to it? He should have realized it, stopped her, and expressed his love in other ways. He was doing her an injustice. Of course it was too soon. To think otherwise was to be insensitive to the issue. In her mind she had just been raped. He needed to keep that at the center of their discussions. Any uncharacteristic comment or action can be laid at its feet.

"Well, then tell me about it. If you want to talk. Let's talk about it. Maybe that will help us." She sat on the backside of the bed, pulling a thin sheet over her bare legs.

It was a difficult thing, communicating. Getting her to speak was a more optimal solution but when she turned the tables and desired words from him, he found it was not an ideal thing. 'Sharing' was a child's activity or a woman's habit. It was best not to say that to TenTen, however, if he meant to leave here with all appandenges intact.

"What was I like?"

"A teenager."

"Really?" She smiled.

"Your memory stopped at the war."

Her eyes widened. "That far? So our marriage?" He shook his head. "The kids?" When he shook his head again she sighed, "I didn't know it was that bad." It took her a minute but then she giggled, "You still managed to get me to sleep with you."

He scoffed, glancing behind him to meet her gaze, "That wasn't a feat."

"Hey!"

"I had to lock my door from the first night."

She kicked him in the back, "Shut up. Don't lie. I wasn't some slutty teenager. It's just, you. I can't think normally around you. I never could."

The confession made him relax and he laid back staring at the ceiling. She twittered beside him, fiddling with the blanket between her fingers. She lowered her head against the bed, resting next to him and he could feel her eyes on his face. He turned his head to meet her.

"Are we on the same page yet?" She wondered desperately.

His brows knit in a sadness. He was positive they weren't. "I don't think we have been for awhile, TenTen."

Confusion riddled her brow and she pushed herself up on her hands. "What do you mean?"

He sat up and forced out the words he's been harboring. "I have been honest with you everyday of my life. You cannot say the same."

"Neji-"

He stood, "You are not ready for any of this. I can wait. I have waited. Perhaps we should go."

"No I can't let you walk away from this yet. If that's why we aren't on the same page then let's fix it."

He slipped up his boxers before his pants then undid his robe, "I want you to talk to the councilor. It is about more than just us."

She gripped his arm, stopping him from putting on his shirt, "More? What do you mean more?"

"It's you. You need help I cannot give you."

Her defense sprung up and outrage shined on her face as she stepped back, "I need help?"

And like an aged fighter, Neji was ready with his own defense.

"You began lying to me two years ago. You faked a mission to have major surgery. You have empty prescription bottles hidden in our closet. You have never visited our son's grave. I would have never thought there was a problem before. And then I met the woman you used to be. The woman I fell in love with. And now I see the difference."

"And what? You don't love me anymore?"

He pulled his shirt on, "I didn't say that."

"You can fuck her but I'm too fucked up, is that it?"

His eyes narrowed and he was silent in his glare. He allowed the comment to pass, tossing it in the pile of a rape victim. He slipped on his sandals, "You have changed. You have closed yourself off. And the reason we aren't in sync is because have spent three months alone, despondent, waiting for my wife to come back while at the same time harboring an anger for all the lies I've been fed and having no outlet." He reached the door, "And I'm still waiting." He slammed it shut and walked away.

* * *

 **It feels like the more they talk, the worse it gets, doesn't it? Thoughts? Feelings? Let me know**


	19. Chapter 19

\- Chapter

Neji and TenTen stood on separate sides of the room as the counselor sat between them. Her foot rocking in the quiet as her gaze flipped between them. Neji leaned against the wall with his arms crossed while TenTen stared out a window. He never thought in his life he would be in position where he would need a third party to help him talk to his wife. But he was out of options. This past weekend proved she was more distant than normal. She slept in a spare bedroom. Even when he tried to apologize for walking out on her at the spa on Friday, she disregarded him, leaving their situation stagnant. What else was he supposed to do? Not talking about it, sweeping it under rug or keeping it locked behind doors isn't an option anymore. Not when he knows she is suffering because of it.

"TenTen." The counselor began. "Why do you think you're here?"

"I was raped."

"And how are you dealing with that?"

"Like anyone else I guess. I'm moving on."

"Are you?"

TenTen scoffed. "Why do I have to talk about shit in order to process it? I'm a ninja. I've been a ninja my whole life. I don't need help. I'm fine."

"If you're fine. Why are you here?"

She shrugs and keeps her vigilant stare on the window.

"Your husband has shared a bit of what's been going on. And with our conversation on Friday, I'm beginning to understand what's going on. But I'm afraid you're not ready to hear it. Your temperament isn't suggesting you are open to conversation."

"Just talk. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Unfortunately counseling only works if you are willing to participate."

"I'm here!" She snapped. "What else do you want? This is so stupid. Why are you making me do this?" She whispered to Neji but he continued to look at the ground, keeping silent.

"Neji, do you want to say anything?"

He shook his head. "I've said it all."

The counselor sighed, pressing a finger against her temple. "I've never dealt with two people completely unwilling to talk. Do you want this marriage to fail?"

TenTen held her head. "He's pissed because I told him a few little lies."

"Little." Neji scoffed. "You've lied to me everyday for two years."

"Stupid, inconsequential lies."

"TenTen, you can't have children anymore."

"It's my body!"

"It's a discussion we should have had as husband and wife." He bites brutally that she cuts herself off, having never heard him raise his voice in such a tone before.

She swallows her emotion and turns her back.

The counselor began, "TenTen, you broke trust. Eighteen years of trust. And you don't seem to care."

"It's not that serious."

"Yes, it is." Neji replied tired.

The counselor sits up, "Let's put it in perspective. You were raped and your husband had to stand there and watch it. How did that make you feel?"

"He couldn't do anything."

"That's very true. But it doesn't mean you don't feel anything."

TenTen shifts uncomfortably. "I was upset. But I know how much it hurt him. I know he would have stopped it if he could."

"Because you trusted him. He would have done anything if he could have. What if he showed no remorse? What if he didn't care you were raped? What if he just shrugged his shoulders, and said, sorry but oh well? Wouldn't that upset you?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"That's what you're doing TenTen. You don't care that you betrayed him."

"I care." Her voice was distant now as she hung her head.

"Then stop trying to convince us that your lies were meaningless. There is no meaningless lie in a marriage. What the question here is, why did you start lying to begin with? What happened to make you afraid of him? Or to lose trust in him that you couldn't tell him the truth anymore?"

Neji watched her face, her expression, the way her shoulders sank. What happened? The answer is simple because her lies started after a specific event they have been unable to talk about. "Hisaya." Neji answered for her.

TenTen's brows knitted and her hands fisted at her side.

"Hisaya." The counselor whispered. "Do you blame him?"

Her head violently shook, "I don't want to talk about this. Aren't we done yet?"

"We're done when you are."

TenTen took that as an invitation to leave and she rushed to the door, ignoring when Neji attempted to touch her arm and slammed the door behind her.

Neji rushed to open the door, to follow her, stop her, confront her but the counselor advised him to let her go. She was right of course. TenTen runs when she's backed into a corner. It would do him no good to follow.

Leaving without her, with their problems still unresolved left Neji depressed and miserable. How much longer would they be distant? How much time must go on before he can look at his wife again and feel her emotions, know her thoughts, share her laughter, and understand her pain? It was dragging him down, his concentration barely able to survive the days without her.

Walking home, Neji was barely aware of anything around him. People attempting to say hello and he just walked right by. It wasn't until he heard a familiar sound that caught his attention. Fists meeting flesh and soft muffled groans with each hit. He didn't care for the most part, but the cries were of a child and even those suppressed cries seemed familiar. Neji shifted down another lane, back behind a building and found the problem.

His son was surrounded by older kids, taller kids, and each of them were taking turns hitting him, kicking him, pushing him. Neji kept his arms folded as he approached, watching with knit brows as his son seemed to simply take it. He was allowing this humiliation to occur. There was no fight back. He just stood there and let him happen.

As he got closer, the kids noticed and they scattered in fear. Souji fell to the floor, spitting blood and rubbing at his tears. Neji stopped a few feet in front of him, observing him, waiting for acknowledgement.

It took a few moments before Souji got strong enough to get back on his feet and when he looked up, horror shined in his face, "Dad." He sat back on his heels, exhausted.

"Why are you doing this?"

His brows knit in pain and he dropped his head down, ashamed. He shook his head, unwilling to answer.

"Tell me. Or do you want me to finish what they started?"

Souji's fists clenched against his thighs.

Neji kneeled down in front of his child, grabbing his chin and forcing his head up. He was thrown back by tears pouring down his bruised and swollen face. "I don't understand, Souji. Why are you doing this?"

"I pushed him." His lip trembled as he tried to suppress his tears.

"Pushed who, son?"

"Hisaya."

Neji's body froze. Every muscle tense, his mouth agape and his eyes wide. Souji's confession wasn't the surprise. Neji always suspected it. Assumed it. But the fact that Souji still held onto the guilt after so many years and allowed himself to be punished for it, shocked him cold. His poor boy.

Neji pulled his son into his arms and held him against his chest. "It doesn't matter." He murmured into ear. "It wasn't your fault, Souji. I don't blame you. Your mother doesn't blame you. It was an accident." Souji clung to him, his sobs muffled against his kimono and Neji only tightened his hold. It was words he should have said two years ago but the words that had been so difficult to find in his grief. Now he couldn't allow one more day of suffering for either Souji or TenTen. "Let this go, son. Forgive yourself." He pulled Souji out of his arms to grip his face, "Do not punish yourself anymore. Souji, you are all your mother and I have. We cannot lose you, do you understand?"

He nodded rubbing his eyes. Neji kissed his forehead, pulling him back into his arms. His eyes distant as he picked him up, carrying him back to their house as his tears continued to fall, long awaited forgiveness weakening him and he fell asleep before they got through the door. Neji rested him in bed, wiping any more tears from his damaged little face.

With a purpose, Neji left the house and searched for TenTen. She was easy to find, like she always is, training at their old grounds, fighting invisible enemies. He rushed to it, coming upon her suddenly that her knife was raised and he grabbed her wrist to keep it from burying in his skull.

She blinked surprised. "Neji?"

"I don't blame you."

Her brows knit. "What?" She whispered, though he was sure she already knew what he was talking about.

"I don't blame you for what happened to Hisaya."

Tears sprang to her eyes but she shook her head, licking her lips. "Don't do this."

"That night. When he was acting strange. When he wouldn't eat. I remember I asked you if we should take him back to the hospital."

She squeezes her eyes shut, and tears drip down and off her chin. She was shaking and yanking her hand away but he couldn't let her go. Not now.

"You said he was fine."

"Stop. Stop." Her hand fell out of his as she collapsed to the ground, burying her face into her thighs. Her fist smashed against the ground and she let out a deeply buried cry.

He kneeled beside her, waiting for her to calm down.

"I should have never been a mother." She whimpered. "How could I not know? He was dying and I was sleeping!"

"TenTen, neither of us believed he was hurt. A simple hit on the head. We have seen so much, survived so much, we were immune to it. We didn't understand how fragile he was."

She popped up, "I should have known! What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

She buries her face in her hands. "Why can't I be like you? Why can't I move on? I wanted to be normal. To stop crying all the time. To be myself again. I'd stand next to you and try to get your head, try to forget him as easy as you did. But I can't. I can't, Neji and I'm sorry. He died, and I can't find myself again. I thought those pills would help but I was afraid you'd see weakness in me. I killed our son. How much longer would you force yourself to love me?"

"Force myself?" Neji reached out for her arms, pulling her hands away from her face and hefting up to her knees. She kept her head down but he maneuvered to meet her miserable gaze, "You did not kill Hisaya. You and Souji are too much alike, it is ridiculous." She smiled but it was weak and fell. "You think you are lost, TenTen, but I have you. You are grieving and to expect yourself to simply move on is absurd. I have not forgotten Hisaya. It is a struggle every morning. He is an ache in my heart. I see him playing in the gardens. I hear him in the quiet of the halls. His memory soaks in our floors. If it is weakness than I have an abundance."

Her eyes softened and she sniffed as her hands came up and rested on his chest. "You think about him?"

"I have his blanket."

A pained giggle past her lips, "You kept his blanket? Where?"

"It's under the floorboards in the bedroom. I also have three outfits, his toy car, and his shoes."

She laughed through her tears, resting her head on his shoulder. "I can't believe you. I threw all that out and you went behind me and hid it." Her smile faded and her hand touched his cheek, "Thank you."

"I was under the impression you did not want to remember him. We should have spoken about him more. Two years later and we are no further from our grief. Do you understand why it is important that you talk to the councilors? It will not be instant, but it will not take years for you to heal. You are not lost, TenTen. But neither are you the same and it is illogical after all that you have experienced to be the same. As I am not the same. We have changed. But do not think anything else has changed. I am standing here now, because nothing else has changed. It was never an obligation to love you." He cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her wet cheek. He rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't want to talk to anymore councilors." Before he could protest, she clenched his kimono, the way she always used to and looked him dead in the eye, "I want to talk to you."

It was the best thing she could have said. It was the moment they managed to find the same page.

He kissed her lips to hide his smile. He grabbed her hand and led her to the tree, where their initials were craved eighteen years ago and sat beneath it, to talk to each other the way they used too and begin to refurbish a connection that could never be severed.

* * *

 **That's it guys! What do you think? Heartbreaking? Perfect ending? Or did you want the suffering to last a little longer ;) Let me know. Be sure to check out my other stuff. I have a bunch of Neji and TenTen, all different, and Sakura and Sasuke dramas. Any ideas you want to see in action? Toss them my way. YOLO!**


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